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Door-holding - Decisions and Consequences


mfan

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I like to be polite and hold the door for someone I'm with, and I'll do this if I'm on a date with a woman. But after I hold the door and the woman goes through it, I am now behind her. I find it awkward to have to do this little catch-up jog in order to get next to her again. Can you explain what the etiquette is here?

 

1. After the woman goes through the door, should she "pull over" and wait for me to catch up?

 

2. Suppose we're on a thin sidewalk approaching the door to a restaurant, and she's walking in front of me. How far should the man go to insist on the door-holding thing if it's rather hard to get in front of her to do it? (considering factors like thin sidewalk, large-sized people, etc.)

 

Thank you. I have temporarily postponed all future dates pending the answers to these 2 questions.

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I "lol'd" at the last sentence. It's not that serious....just hold the door and catch back up. She should stand aside or slow down to help make that happen.

I wouldn't say you have to go out of your way. If it's easy enough and you're not having to knock over the "large size people" to jump ahead, just do it.

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Not sure what the official rule is on it, but i typically walk forward enough to get out of the way and step to the side to wait for him to catch up.

 

As for the other, of It has to be forced, I wouldn't worry about it. Ifit's natural and comfortable, go for it. But don't make it weird.

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The woman is required to pause to a 5 count and then slightly nod her head as she waits.

The thin sidewalk/large sized people condundrum is solved by yelling POLICE and faking a badge in hand. Please don't yell FIRE. Anyhow...everyone will freeze, except felons, and you will be afforded access to said door for your damsel.

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1. I do what Mississippi does.

 

2. I stand and wait for the man to get to the door so he can open it for me, if she doesn't do that, she'll open the door herself and you won't have to worry about it. I don't think you need to insist in a way that makes it weird but if she knows it's something you'll do for her and appreciates it, she'll wait at the door for you.

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I lol'd as well, haha.

Relax!

Dating isn't this technical.

HOWEVER, my BF is a door opener & I find it works a lot easier if I let him open it for me then move aside & let him open the other.

It sounds princessy, but he WANTS to open doors so I do my part to make it less awkward when we run into the double doors sit.

I most always step behind him when we need to pass other people or whatever.

I do what I can to let him feel like a boss because I'm a boss in other areas and I know he wouldnm't like physically following me, but he's OK to follow me with other things.

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Aww! I never even think of this but now that I think of it, whoever goes in the door first holds it behind them so the person holding the door is slightly ahead. That's how I always do it, seems to work out well. Sometimes I'm the door holder sometimes he is.

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1) I always stop and wait for him to catch-up

 

2) I would probably just open the door for him--though I have sometimes in the past gotten weird looks from dates if I open the door for them...I dunno,I feel that it's just a polite thing to do for anyone regardless of gender or dating conventions, and if I am closest and it's less awkward for me to open the door then I'm gonna do it. Though some guys get surprised--dunno if that is a bad thing though.

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Oh, this is easy.

 

If you can comfortably open the door for her wihtout tripping yourself or her, then do so. And some women will open their own doors and like it that way. So don't knock her down trying to get to the door first.

 

And honestly, you are only TWO STEPS behind her. So you just take a couple of quick strides and catch up, or just walk normally until she turns and waits for you.

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Oh, this is easy.

 

If you can comfortably open the door for her wihtout tripping yourself or her, then do so. And some women will open their own doors and like it that way. So don't knock her down trying to get to the door first.

 

And honestly, you are only TWO STEPS behind her. So you just take a couple of quick strides and catch up, or just walk normally until she turns and waits for you.

 

I agree with this. I only wait for my husband to open the door when we've basically planned it that way -that is, if I'm carrying heavy packages and/or holding my son's hand, he'll run ahead of me to get the door open. I would do the same for him. He is a door-opener but, no, I wouldn't have expected him to push heaven and earth just to get there first.

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We hold the door so we can check out the booty... isnt that the real reason? If not... then screw that, ill take her to a place with automatic doors.

 

Your post is funny, dont overthink it. I hold the door for anybody im with, my cousins, friends, mom, etc. Usually the woman pauses until you come in. Last girl who i dated seriously - told me she expects all doors to be opened for her because of her bad experiences, she would walk right in and i would walk behind her, i didnt rush to catch up with her - for what? I'd just stroll in eyeing the place until she noticed she was sprinting ahead.

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lol, maybe that's why men sometimes give me weird looks if I open the door for them, lol, they think I am gonna check out their bums (and I do!) hehe.

 

I was at work and i let someone pass... because... i dont know... i was carrying a ladder and a big freaking wrench and i didnt want to slow her down. She had a HUGE booty, but that wasnt the reason for me letting her pass. Another guy tried to let her pass and she said "NO, MEN DO THAT TO CHECK OUT THE BOOTY, WALK IN FRONT!" And the guy looked at me and said... "uhmmm... you have a guy behind you..." and she pretended to not notice and said, "oh... my... god..."

 

I just planted my ladder really fast and said... "im working on the ceiling back here!" Not sure why i said that... it made sense at the time.

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I was at work and i let someone pass... because... i dont know... i was carrying a ladder and a big freaking wrench and i didnt want to slow her down. She had a HUGE booty, but that wasnt the reason for me letting her pass. Another guy tried to let her pass and she said "NO, MEN DO THAT TO CHECK OUT THE BOOTY, WALK IN FRONT!" And the guy looked at me and said... "uhmmm... you have a guy behind you..." and she pretended to not notice and said, "oh... my... god..."

 

haha, nice awkward situation there, lol. Sounds like she wanted to check out that guy's bum. Or maybe she wanted you to check out hers.

 

I just planted my ladder really fast and said... "im working on the ceiling back here!" Not sure why i said that... it made sense at the time.

 

lol, nice awkward comment

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Lol!! Love the awkward moments and solutions! I always overthink this part two only because of how they set up the doors! Like doors that look like they need to be pushed open, so you walk on one side expecting to reach around and above their heads to open, only to have to pull, so now you gotta pull from an awkward angle AND you're now in their way when you open the door...

 

I think the architects in my city just do stuff just to do it (keep up with historical representations or something); so yes, nullify both questions and just setup dates that revolve around automatic doors, haven't missed a step since.

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This thread reminds me of a funny (and painful) incident that happened to me recently.

I was going to a cafe with two friends of mine, both male. As we were about to go inside, friend no1 was in the front, I was behind him and friend no2 behind me. Friend no1 opened the door and, at that moment, I turned around to say something to friend no2..I had thought that friend no1 would keep the door open for me..but he didn't..so, as I turned around again, the door closed on my face

Lessons learned: always look in front of you when you're walking and don't assume that all men are polite!

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OUch MissM!! oh wow.

 

This thread is hilarious.

 

Sometimes it's funny when people make a show out of it in goofiness...running to get the door even though they are far off and you are right there! It's silly.

 

My problem seems to be that I don't know when to stop holding the door when there is a flow of people...like who gets the cut off?? If you are standing there holding it, and everyone passes through without offering to take it up, you can stand there for a while!!

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I love this thread.

 

I kind of liken it to that catch-up jog you do when someone about a good 40 feet in front of you holds the door open for you - Then you're forced to do early morning calisthenics because it would be rude to just casually stroll as you were, and then this kind gesture that you should feel appreciative of kind of turns into an irritating thing.

 

But yes...I just wait for him to catch up to me. Or I walk slowly.

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