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short tempered and easily angered


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Hello all,


Over the past months I have been feeling increasingly easily angered and tolerance levels drop significantly.


While at work I feel okay. But I am thinking that work maybe the root of the issues.

I have for the last three years been on what is know as a relief role where I cover those at other bases when short staffed. This role has extended beyond where I have felt comfortable being away. As such I applied for a standard non relief role and commences in 8 weeks.


Applying for this position was to aid the development of our engaged relationship with my best friend, dream girl, who is the most fantastic person I have ever met and love deeply.

This said my wild intolerant behavior has landed me in a position by where we are no longer together at this stage.


I easily anger of silly little things that have no position in life to do such. But with my behavior have become major road blocks.

Simple things like mistakenly using something the incorrect way, or what seems so obvious to me boils over because they did not see it the way I wanted the task to beccompleted.

There in turn I have not seen it there way.


I am trying to find the reasons as to why I have anger, intolerance, and am also possibly thinking controlling behaviors.

I want and need to find these out, as I do not want a temporary fix. I know this is information and a change that I need to make. Not to rekindle the relationship, as I know that it is too soon to know what will happen there. But just for me. I really do want to be happy, strong and confident again.


Fortunately because of the love we still have for one another and still very much best of friends despite everything, she will be supporting me and us through the search for these answers.


Where should I start to make amends with myself, and my best friend? Any help would be greatly appreciated. I would also like to vist psychological centre to aid the process and healing. Though with my schedule holding appointments can be very difficult. Is there any safe online options available?


My very kindest regards



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I think the only thing which will help is some form of professional counseling/therapy, anger management, to help you dig deeper into finding out the root cause of why and where this is all coming from. I don't think this is something you can sort out on your own, or from strangers on the internet. If at all possible, get professional help.

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Wow what a fast reply. Thank you.


Agreed face to face is needed. If by medical you a speaking of medication I can not due to my line of work also I really do not like medications. I would also like to root it out through 1 on 1 as opposed to masking.


The behaviors have been around as long as I can recall but never as prevalent.



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As the others have said talking to a counselor or therapist can help. And yes your job, if it's left you feeling overextended, burned-out and exhausted can also be an exacerbating factor. Another thing to do is please get a physical to make sure there's nothing medically wrong. Some illnesses can cause an underlying pain or hormonal fluctuations even in men that can trigger shortened temper. I had an uncle who was the sweetest guy in the universe until he began having heart problems and went through a rough three months of just losing his temper over everything. Got on medication for it, back to his old sweet self shortly afterwards so yeah something to look at there. Particularly if this has not been a problem before and just seemed to come out of nowhere.


Also lessen your stress load as much as you can and work with a counselor or even just on your own to identify areas of stress and address those. I've found that if I get too many people demanding things of me at the same time I will get very snappish and short-tempered. I feel like I'm being overwhelmed with demands and I don't deal well with it at all. It's my particular breaking point so to speak and one of the things I had to learn to do was to learn to prioritize and force others to accept my priorities--i.e. I stopped saying yes to everyone and handling the stuff they didn't want to.

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