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Its 4:25 right now and ive been awake for over an hour already. I am so incredibly sad and stressed. Ive been going through really really hard bouts of depression and contemplated dying just a few days ago. My boyfriend of over a year broke up with my the day after i told myself i would like to die. It was awful timing and ontop of that i feel like he really doesnt care about how i felt although i know he also struggles with depression somewhat but hes acting like hes so happy and honestly its killing me even more inside. I still love him and i feeo so incredibly heart broken i havent been able to sleep in a few days and when i do sleep its always something sad involving him and i wake up crying so i would rather not sleep then.

 

I am so unsure of my future. I dont have friends. My boyfriend was my last friend and i feel like hes just being so cruel to me. I dont know what to do to make myself stop feeling like this. Like im sinking. I googled some help and this forum showed up and i decided why not give it a go i mean it cant hurt to at least get this off my chest.

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im really sorry to hear what youre going through and really your ex sounds like a jerk breaking up with you after hearing something like that. have you thought about seeing a doctor who can give you sleeping tablets and discuss medication and therapy for your depression? it really would be a huge step in the right direction. i have family members who have suffered with depression and seeing someone has really helped them and i am so proud of them for seeking help because its a brave thing to do.

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There are some things that help me get to sleep when I'm feeling depressed.

 

-Meditating helps me. I put on my lamp and stare at the light through my eyelids. The warm light evokes some happier thoughts.

-I always sleep with a pillow between my legs, I don't know why exactly. Just a comfort thing I guess.

-The very cliche, warm milk also helps.

-Focus on your breathing.

-Put on some peaceful music, like the cinematic orchestra, or Brian crane. I sometimes leave my laptop playing under my bed and the tune generally calms down my mind a bit.

 

Test the water with these tricks or think up some more. But I agree with louisecar that you should see a doctor sometime this week because your depression and heartbreak won't go away on it's own. If you start seeing a therapist or psychiatrist then they'll be able to work through all the tough things going on in your life and help you find reasons to stay alive.

 

I hope you manage to fall asleep >.

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Also to stop myself having nightmares, I do this weird little thing. I think of something awful, then something amazing and then I go back to the awful thing and then the amazing thing. I do this over and over again till I'm sleepy then I stop on an awful one because my brain logically follows it with something good. I don't know if it'll work for you but I've been doing it for years, a weird childhood habit.

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Also I've been falling into the bad habit of keeping myself awake until about 2 hours before I'm supposed to get up so I don't have the nightmares but it is NOT worth it. My grades are slipping, and I'm becoming distant with my friends and family because I'm just so tired. It's best to try to fall asleep so at least you'll be conserving energy for the next day, if that makes any sense...

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There are these masks with gel for your eyes that you can use warm or cold, so if you use it warm on your eyes - it is very soothing and it makes you sleepy VERY fast.

 

Try meditation and deep stomach breathing too - while being on your back, breath in through your nose filling your stomach area so it rices, on a count of four, then hold on a count of four, breath out slowly on a count of six, then hold on a count of two, then repeat. I never could sleep on my back but with this stuff I switch off in like... 3 minutes. And it is very good for calming your mind. Just breath and count.

 

Try warm chamomile tea, comfy sock and blankets, anything actually that puts you in a sleepy, safe mood. Hot bottles, warm milk, a stuffed toy...

 

For your deeper issues I think you can see a professional, someone who can talk to you and guide you on how to move on from your heartbreak.

 

Hugs, and get well soon!

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