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My long term girlfriend is talking about other guys with her friend.


DirtyPaws

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So me and my girlfriend of nearly 3 years have been having some issues recently.

She basically told me that she is starting to lose her feelings for me, but she wants us to work because she does still love me.

Its been really bad recently, i have been a bit too clingy, and so she has been getting a bit annoyed about it. the reason i have been getting clingy is because she keeps reading my texts but not answering them, and then in this time posting statuses on facebook, posting photos on instagram etc etc etc.

 

I am her first serious boyfriend and shes my first ever girlfriend, but despite our ups and downs we always seem to get through it and work it out. We always normally talk about our future, getting married having kids, and she always used to be the clingy one, constantly texting me, checking up on me, getting annoyed if im slow at replying etc etc.

She also always snoops on my messages on facebook and my texts on my phone.

 

Basically I never use Internet Explorer and i went on it today cos my chrome was being awful. She was logged into facebook obviously from the last time the browser was used, and I was about to log off, when she got a instant message saying, "I know he is gorgeous right!".

Obviously i wasnt going to ignore it so I looked at the conversation.

She was talking about an actor at first, which was fine. but then she started talking about a guy who they had seen at a nightclub, saying things like "I cant stop looking at his phots, Im a stalker!!", and "He plays rugby, OH MY GOD, Do you know what that means!" and she was putting out her name but with his last name instead of hers.

The worst thing I saw she said was "Imagine him just holding your face".

Like this is a girl who has never before said things like this, (This friend of hers is a new friend) , and i dont really know what to think about it!

 

Telling her I saw it is not an option. Even though she is always snooping on mine, and i didnt even mean to be on hers she would never believe me, and she is a female after all, she can do no wrong.

Also in our current situation i cant really talk to her at all, let alone about things like that!

 

What i want to know is, should i be worried about this? Is this normal for girls and their friends to talk like this? Thanks

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She's on her way out. You should probably just break up with her now, and save yourself the trouble, since she is clearly going to string you along until she has something "better" set up. If you break up with her, she will probably beg you not to and feed you a line of bs, but this relationship is on its way out, and you should probably end it on your terms and keep your dignity.

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Ya I am sorry but its over. The honeymoon period is over, the idea of being serious has become boring and she wants to explore other options. Most young couples get "the greener grass syndrome" 2-3 years in when all there single friends seem to be having the time of their lives. She will go out, have a rebound and probably run home to you when she figures out the "single life" is not all its cracked up to be..

 

but my advice to you is to move on and find a woman who loves you enough to never leave you-who wont get itchy feet as soon as the passion dies down.

 

I know its hard and it hurts but that is life and shes not your destiny

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change your password. Watch how fast things switch around when she no longer can keep tabs on you.

 

 

 

You don't know what she's never said before... you only know as much about her as she's let you know about her. The above conversation proves that.

 

 

 

Stooping to deceit makes you no better than her. No, you had a choice the minute you saw she was signed on--but you CHOSE to snoop, so own that. What you discovered now has your behind over a barrel--you're doomed to self torture by keeping it to yourself and you're doomed to her ending the relationship because you snooped. Might as well maintain your self dignity and own up to what you did. It will break your clingy behavior by owning up to what you did. If you were grown enough to do it, then be grown enough to take your a $ $ whippin' for it.

 

 

 

then what's the point in remaining in a relationship with someone you can't talk to about anything?

 

 

 

Yes, it is when a particular guy's feelings don't matter. In grand scheme of things, it means nothing. However, your clinginess changes all of that because it's causing her to lose interest in you and that is because you've allowed her too much latitude. When she began talking about losing feeling for you, that's when you needed to fall back.

 

Change that password and dont' tell her what it is and when she asks, tell her you want your privacy.

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On one hand, I'd say: Don't worry about it too much. Just because you're committed doesn't mean you're dead. It's a ridiculous fiction that, if we truly love someone, we never lust after anyone else. It's also destructive. As you're finding out. That said....

 

I'll assume you two are around college age, right? Say 19-24 or so? Women of that age - and you can do a quick survey of this board to see that there's lots of evidence - often dump their guy after 2-3 years. You can google to find theories as to why, but my guess is that you're in that boat. If you guys are having troubles, and you think they could be caused by her frustration at not being on the market, then your best bet is to break it off, pronto. Breaking up with her will give you the best chance of both weathering the break well and of giving yourself a chance at being back together with her in the future.

 

Sorry... and Good Luck!

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I think you should ignore the comments about you snooping as if you committed murder or something. I find it funny that some people want to lock you up for snooping but then tell you its no big deal if your partner is a cheat or something.. baffles me and makes me laugh all at the same time..

 

snooper haters are likely cheaters so don't sweat it

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snooper haters are likely cheaters so don't sweat it

 

Wrong. Ive been snooped on by an insecure, projecting, manipulative jerk who was the freakin' cheater. He had no reason to violate my privacy... and his comeuppance was him butt dialing ME on his way to his girlfriend's condo. I didn't have to snoop to find out his treachery.

 

that's why I have no patience for them.

 

and no where in OP's post did he say she was cheating on him. She was mooning over a dude she saw at a club. She's never interacted with him from what OP wrote, and that is not cheating.

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Please for your own well being end it now so you at least come out "on top." I was very ignorant and made mine last another year more than it probably should have even though all the signs were there from her that it was not the same as it had been and was probably not long from ending some way or another and when it did end she basically shot me and watched me bleed to death so to speak.

 

For your mental health leave her and let her be the one to plead and beg and when and only when it seems sincere and appropriate then give her the time of day to discuss things further and if not at least like I said you will have left on the high road instead of being dragged down the low road.

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If you're both snooping in each others' stuff, there was really no trust in your relationship anyway. And, I do think that I have probably said silly things to female friends about other guys while in a relationship, but it was kind of meaningless. Unless she's actually corresponding with this guy, I'm not sure it's all that harmful to have that kind of discussion with a girlfriend when she *thinks* it's private.

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Wrong. Ive been snooped on by an insecure, projecting, manipulative jerk who was the freakin' cheater. He had no reason to violate my privacy... and his comeuppance was him butt dialing ME on his way to his girlfriend's condo.

 

Same with me. One guy violated my privacy left and right and then he ultimately cheated, not me. Another hacked my email and found what he thought was "proof" of me corresponding with someone, when in fact I was doing no such thing.

 

Dumped them both, and glad I did.

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