Jump to content

I'm really terrible at this someone help :l


Ljion

Recommended Posts

I have as much game as a dead stump haha

 

6 months ago I met a girl in one of my classes in college who kind of hit alot of what I look for in a person. I asked her out the second time I met her which basically was the next day. She said no D and the reason she told me is because she just broke up with her bf of 4 years barely a week ago.

So life went on and we were just friends in class till the end of the school term, when I felt like she could be trying to tell me something. But I didn't because I wasn't sure. Usually I wouldn't doubt myself so much but this girl is a bit out of my league. I mean her ex is a footballer player and she's ridiculous beautiful. Through the winter break we didn't communicate at all and I've started a new school term recently. Turns out she's in my sculpture class. She came up and sat next to me and seemed surprisingly happy to see me. After class we always hangout for a hour before our next separate classes. So I have been spending a good amount of time each day with her. We get along really well and conversations are effortless.

 

Her 22 birthday is coming up this weekend and she talked about that a couple of times which made me feel like she trying to tell me she wanted to do something on her birthday. But at the same time I'm not even sure if people want to do that? Have a first date on their birthday? On Wednesday, which is our last day meeting each other till the next week, when I said bye to her I felt like she was kind of mad at me. So I decided to text her this morning and ask her if she wanted to get coffee anytime she had some free time and that I need to ask her something. I tried to make it obvious that I was going to ask her out on a date this weekend. So in case she doesn't like me she can flat out say no or just give me an indicator that shes not interested.

 

She replied back to me that she's not going to be free till after her birthday and that can what I'm going to ask her wait till Monday. I'm not too sure if she gave me a not interested or what... but I do know she has three different family birthday parties to go to which would make her weekend pretty much booked. Should I just ask her out when I see her in class next week? I'm probably going to but I want to make sure I'm not being delusional on what I feel like are signs of her being interested.

 

Also I'm kind of new to the sober dating scene haha... I'm only 20 and though I've been sexually active since I was 16 I haven't had many chances to take a girl out to on a nice date before. So I'm just wondering if these two things I am planning to do for this date are socially acceptable hahaa!

 

I've made some money recently and I kind of want to take her to the aquarium. Its kinda of a big trip probably 2 hours one way. If I tell her i'll buy her the tickets for her birthday would she think that's weird? Too much as a first date?

 

Finally there is a beautiful flower art piece I have been working in a class that I kind of want to give to her as a birthday present. It's going to have a precious stone in it so it's not only artistically striking but also have some monetary value. Can I give it to her? I don't to be throwing money and gifts at her straight off the bat as if I was loaded which I'm not (poor artist haha),but I know she would love it and also she seen me make the uglier prototype one and I want to wow her with the polished piece.

 

Please help

Thanks for reading

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You should have said, that what you have to ask cannot wait until after her birthday. Sounds like you're doing a lot of waiting around.

 

Don't do the birthday gift, that's weird. Inviting her to the aquarium is good idea. Just ask her, and if she says no or makes up some bs excuse, then just stop talking to her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You don't have to do anything crazy for a first date. Just something fun and simple. Hell, you don't even have to call it a date. Less pressure that way. How well do you know her? Have you guys ever hung out before? I'm not saying don't give her a nice gift, but if you're giving her an 8mm AAA sapphire well that might be a bit much.

 

 

Don't over think things. Just ask her to do something and if she says yes go from there. And definitely don't think someone is "out of your league". Hate that saying, makes it look like people don't value themselves as much as others.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't know, look for some common rapport building conversation routines etc. If she's taking six months to go on a date maybe you could do it a tad better?

Whatever you think would be probably overdoing it - it most likely is. I'm a breakup buddy to one of my friends and guy is so anxiously rampaging to being friendzoned it is unbelievable. If I feel the pressure he emanates, I wouldn't like to be in her shoes. If you must buy her smth, a Kinder chocolate egg would do for a first date. If you have that in the US, you know what I mean. Chicks here adore them

 

Sent from my HTC One

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Don't get her a gift.

Don't plan a big outing that will require a 4-hour round trip.

Don't think she's out of your league.

 

Do be confident in yourself.

Do have a plan for a date that will only be 2 hours, but can be extended if ya'll are hitting it off. For instance, dinner with an option for drinks, bowling, a walk, etc. afterwards.

Do meet ask her out on Monday.

 

Then see what happens.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Soooo... here's the thing. Great imagination! Or at least wanting to do something big, different, etc.. but... you do realize you asked her out on a date already right? and I'm not talking about day 2.. but when you asked her out on a date to set up a date (or "to ask her something").... (coffee was fine for a first date!).

 

And, though I would have suggested giving the art piece you're making as a birthday present.. to be honest with you, I'm not sure it will help your chances any more at this point. Typically birthday parties (especially around your age) have multiple people, and it seems like she would have invited you out or something on her birthday, but rather, she chose to mull over it and tell you to just contact her afterwards... almost like she knows what's coming up and she's delaying it a bit (maybe thinking you'll get cold feet?).

 

At this point, given your history, I would ignore all "signs" and be up front. Next time you see her, ask her on a "date." A date is anything. Coffee, aquarium (don't do btw), dancing, etc. But make sure you don't walk away until you know: Yes or No.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I really don't understand the dating scene at all and the pressure she would feel by considering it as a date.

She said no the first time because she was not over her ex right, instead of trying to impress her with expensive and long trips why don't you just go out as if you would with a friend of yours, having a coffee or something and get to know her and understand how she thinks and feels without expecting anything in return?

I think the piece of art would be a beautiful gift for her, you could tell her that the flower matches her beauty or something, I personally dont fancy luxurious gifts but a handmade with a pretty stone would make my heart melt.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't know, look for some common rapport building conversation routines etc. If she's taking six months to go on a date maybe you could do it a tad better?

Whatever you think would be probably overdoing it - it most likely is. I'm a breakup buddy to one of my friends and guy is so anxiously rampaging to being friendzoned it is unbelievable. If I feel the pressure he emanates, I wouldn't like to be in her shoes. If you must buy her smth, a Kinder chocolate egg would do for a first date. If you have that in the US, you know what I mean. Chicks here adore them

 

Sent from my HTC One

 

They're illegal here. Apparently we aren't responsible enough to have them because people could choke on the toy inside. I don't know how you'd manage that, but there it is.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

They're illegal here. Apparently we aren't responsible enough to have them because people could choke on the toy inside. I don't know how you'd manage that, but there it is.

 

Yeah. Many people are not responsible enough to have children at all but still they do. I have certainly heard of more cases children choking on the balloons, but yet I don't think they are banned. From the sounds of it - lobbying most likely from some big us company.

 

Although you have some ridiculous laws. If I'm right s couple of years back at the age 17 you couldn't drink a shot of burbon in a bar, but you could enlist and get killed in a war

 

Sent from my HTC One

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow thanks for all the respose everyone. I wanted to clear some things up.

1st. Im not trying to impress by going on a big trip. Honestly I have been just really wanting to go to the aquarium for ages now. I been toying with the idea of just going by myself but thats not as fun hah.

2. Yes we have hungout before. We have gotten coffee couple of times.

3.I can't get her kinder chocolate eggs as a gift because i would probably end up eating them

4. I would have moved alot harder and quicker if i didnt feel so conflicted and worried about the date ending up badly and having to sit next to her for the rest of the school year, awkwardly. This has happened to me before.

5.I'll stop saying "out of my league." Hahah

6.lot of mixed reactions to the birthday present thing. Honestly I'm not 100 percent sure what ill do.

 

Thanks for everyone who replied this was exactly what I needed, different opionions and perspectives. Wish me luck haha

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You insecure = pressure.

You buying expensive gift = expectations = pressure.

 

Chicks don't like pressure. It makes their brain boil and steam rolling through their ears

 

Disregard the rapport rant if you was with her on a dates already.

 

Sent from my HTC One

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...