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I could really use some insight. Mass after the break up


shootingstarz

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I have posted this similar issue before and I could really use some good insight now than ever. During our relationship, he/we have purchased a new car for me. The car is in my name but the loan was processed under him. Anyway, since the purchase of the car, he has been making the payment and in exchange I've offered to work on weekend at his office. He was looking to hire a temp worker on weekend. It was my way of contributing towards the car payments. After the break up we talked about the car issue. What are the options etc. I was going to suggest going in half until payments are satisfied. But, he offered to continue payments for next 3 more years. He said, not to worry about it that he will make the payments that its just 3 more years. I thanked him for his generosity and added that when ever my finance situation were to change. I would either contribute or take over the payments. He again said, not to worry about it that he knows I need the car and that the payment would be too much for me to handle.

 

During our relationship, I have loaned him couple of thousand dollars but I didn't bring that up after he said he would make the car payments. Initially my thoughts were, what 2k compare to 3 more years of car payments? So, I decided to put that money in his hand. I have talk to my friends about this and they said to have that in writing. He says that now but things can change down the road. Some are telling me that, once I happen to have new person in life if he would still make the payments? more, when he has new person in his life, would that new person be understanding of her man paying something for his former GF?. All these raised insecurity on my part as far as the car goes. Him, the man I know. It isn't him that I don't trust, he will hold to what he said/offered but it's the situation that could indeed change is what I don't trust. I would love to just take over the payment and re-contract everything within my name etc. But, right now or anytime soon, new added car payments will cause financial difficulty.

 

As my friends advised. Should I get this in writing? if so, how do I approach? I really don't even want to talk or get in touch with him. If I have to for this reason, I am at a lost how to go about and whens good time to bring this up. I thought when we talked about the car issue, I no longer have to talk or have anything to do with him. If it makes any different, he was the dumper and the break up wasn't ugly. We didn't fight, argue or anything. A day after we had our talk about the car. I texted him to make an apology (I had done something that an apology was in order to have my conscious clear) and he didn't replied. This was 2 weeks ago and one month since the break up. Other than the contact I have made about the car and the apology text the day after. I have not contacted the EX. Oh, during the car talk, I also did mentioned and asked what are his thought about reconnecting after given some space and time. He said, he still stands at his decision but will.. then he kind of mumbled through the rest. This is not about reconnecting. I am not even worry or thinking about that. I am trying to put every detail possible so you can draw some pictures how things were and give me some advises based on it. My main concern right now is how to go about without sounding bad by asking for him to put his generosity in writing. After all, he does not owe me anything and him offering is greatly appreciative. I feel I am in a vulnerable situation when it comes to the car and would like to have some sort of security. Thank you all so much!

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Put in writing what? Since the loan is in his name, he really can't afford to stop or his credit will take the hit, not to mention that the collectors will be looking for him. Not sure how generous he is being as opposed to practical in simply not quite trusting that you will make proper payments given your finances. Also, no he is not really obligated to you to continue the arrangement and you can't demand it. If he runs into financial problems of his own, he may well surrender "your" car to the bank. I put your in quotes because the car is the bank's really until paid for. He may well contact you at some point either wanting you to refinance in your name or wanting the car back. It could get messy down the road.

 

Personally, I would want to get out of this clean. You could just give the car back to him since he is making the payments and get yourself something you can actually afford. Three years is a long time and a lot can happen.

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