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I'm loose, just dont know what to do


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thanks to anyone who answer, I just don't know what to do, I've got 3 hellish years, need an advice...

Here's my story:

3 years ago I was out of study since I reproved the last year just before university, that was a hard time not only because my fathers got angry as plausible, also I loosed almost all my friends cause I wanted to change and they wasn't helping, then I started to get close with her... she was an old friend of mine but before that year I barely used to talk with her, eventually we started to date and we fall in love, then it happened one year latter I was finally entering my first career when my 17 years old sister tried to escape from home, on the try she even send people to follow and intimidate my fathers and me to let her go, at the end she made it cause my fathers let her go after knowing that she planned everything, I was devastated and my fathers almost separate and after a talk with them I realized that the only reason that doesn't happened it was me, so had to be strong but I was very depressed so I took refuge on my exgirlfriend, she helped me a lot to get out but after around 8 months later she started to act weird so one day we got a fight and she confessed that she got laid with other guy, I quit with her that day after two years of relationship, but now one year latter I study two careers, for that reason I barely got time to make friends, much more less for a couple and I feel horribly alone, depressed and betrayed, the worse of all it's that i haven't forget her and I still have to be strong, now it's just my parents and me, there's no one else and they got all their hopes in me and what is even worse is that they are right cause if I don't make it for myself no one is going to be there for me.... I have no uncles or cousins or any other relative...

 

I hate to feel in this way, I've got so far that I can't even cry cause if I try it nothing happens, just need an advice to stop feeling this way....

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