I've lost all the trust my Girlfriend has for me.. Please help.

[Froggy717]

First off I'd just like to say sorry for any incoherency as I'm in the loopiest state as of now, so please bare with me as I really need help.

Let me tell you about myself and her.

So this girl and I have been dating for 6 months, and we were great friends since Grade 1. I liked her throughout grade school though, I'm not actually quite sure about her if she ever liked me. So we started talking near the end of Grade 10, we're both 16 now though, and we ended up going out. We're actually the most unusual couple honestly, I'm of Asian ethnicity and she is of Russian descent. So anyway, we've been in the honeymoon stage for literally the past 6 months, we've only fought 3 or 4 times but it is because of a bad habit I've grown into and letting it become a norm in my life. I'm a compulsive liar, not sure if that's the right word but I tend to lie a lot. As a kid I would lie a lot to get out of trouble, to seek attention, basically the usual. I've been lying constantly even about stupid small things that I shouldn't be lying about because it's pointless but it just comes out naturally, and she's accepted it up to this day even with the fights we've had because of me lying, until 2 days ago. I was trying to make her feel special, and I came out with the truth about a lie about dating a girl in Grade 9. I told her a long while ago that I dated her for money, but it was actually because I liked her and I said the reason being money because I was afraid of being judged due to the fact that my school has "groups" therefore making it embarrassing. She said she was genuinely disgusted. The plan of trying to make her feel special completely backfired. To this day now she because of my lying habit being dragged on through the entire span of the relationship (but I'm now improving on being honest, because I have no reason to lie to her as she is the closest person to me I am completely comfortable with her and that's how it should have been in the beginning) letting her know the truth behind this because I wanted to be honest with her... She exploded. She couldn't take it. We're still under this agonizing issue right now. She says she doesn't know who I am anymore, how I really feel about her, if she still feels the same about me, or the reason why I'm with her. She states she is completely lost. Is there any way I can earn her trust back? We're going to discuss this tomorrow in person, but what I was planning on doing was admitting how I truly feel about her and not hold back any tears whatsoever. I'm planning on telling her we should take a break, but not exactly break up. Just let me change myself and then we get serious again.

 

She is my first love, and I am her first love. She has dated guys before, but no one made her felt like I did because of the things she did for me. I could just tell. I feel like if I lose her, I'd lose everything. I'm actually a very care free person which isn't entirely a good thing, but if I lose her I feel like there's really no point anymore. I don't want any other girl, I just want her and only her. There's a saying that you deserve to live and be happy. I feel that I no longer care about death anymore if I'm no longer happy, because if I lose her I'll have lost the only thing I care for. If something happens between us and I die, I don't think I'd honestly really care.

 

Am I able to earn back her trust? I don't care what I have to do, how long it takes, I just want to do whatever to be with her.

I may be missing some details but feel free to ask if there is any incoherency.

[Capricorn3]

I'm a compulsive liar, not sure if that's the right word but I tend to lie a lot. As a kid I would lie a lot to get out of trouble, to seek attention, basically the usual. I've been lying constantly even about stupid small things that I shouldn't be lying about because it's pointless but it just comes out naturally,

Am I able to earn back her trust?

Speaking for myself only, if I was ever dating someone who is a pathological liar I would end it immediately and never, ever look back. You can never trust what hey tell you, at any given time, ever. I once knew a pathological liar and it was so bad that he even started believing his own lies - even he couldn't tell the difference anymore. Not only did all his relationships fail, but he even lost all his family and friends.

 

As to will you be able to earn back her trust - I have no idea, that depends on her. If it were me, you would never earn my trust back. Lying once or twice, anyone can deal with, but constantly, for years and years? I don't think that would work for many people.

 

If you do this for "attention and it comes naturally" then I think you have some serious issues. I think you should look into professional counseling/therapy to help you figure out WHY you do this.