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How I deal/dealt with my break up. I think you should too but do what is best.


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Just because I took this path doesn't mean this will work for everyone. You know yourself best and what you are capable of. Soon after the break up (close to a month). I suffered from massive headache for few days. But, oddly, I had no heartache (I was the dumpee). Perhaps, I was preparing for this end and felt bit of relief when it happened? still, break up is a break up and I was the dumpee. I had very little void as far as missing the EX but did struggle a bit from moving on from the memories. Little over a week after the break up, we talked over some business matter and I have asked what his thought is on reconnecting given some space and time. He says, he stands on his decision yet will keep open mind. That was my last offering. Knowing that I have asked. I no longer need to stay around with false hope. 2nd week since the break up. I went and started dating. And have reconnected with ex's whom I have been avoiding out of respect of the relationship with the EX. You will be surprised, how your past EX's can be such a great supporter. Also, by going on dates and meeting new people. It does boost your ego. What I am trying to say is. Don't just stay at home feeling lonely, sad and awful about yourself. The moment your EX left you. You are a FREE AGENT. YOU DO NOT OWE anything to your EX. Even, incase your EX finds about you going on dates, IT isn't their business. It shows them you are doing just fine without them. And, do NOT worry about with "what if's" he has change mind and wants to reconnect yet by dating other, it would damage? I say, BS. Once they let you go, that is the permission without a permission that you are free to date whom ever you want to. I am not saying you should sleep with anyone or everyone. But, go out, have a date or two, even if you have to force yourself to do it. Just do it. Do not care or think about the EX. EX's are not there to ease your pain or help you in anyway. Healing, moving on, all has to be done by you and only you. It is almost close to a month since the break up and I don't know it was a faith or total coincidence. I have reconnected with my ex fiancée whom I haven't had any contact for over 2 years (due to the long distance, I called it a quit after 7 years engagement). His been trying to transfer his work in my area and its 95% confirmed. He will know for sure in couple of months. We are not back together yet per si. We are taking one day at a time until it is 100% confirmed. He has told me already that he would like us to be together and that he never stopped loving me. "things does happen for a reason" in my case.

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You seem a lot stronger than most on here. I know that after my last BU, i was so shattered that I couldn't even think about dating. Not only that, my libido went out the window. I also spiraled into a pretty deep depressive state in which i could barely get out of bed.

 

Unfortunately, I don't speak to my exes and many of them aren't in my area and/or are in relationships.

 

Your situation does seem unique but I commend you on your strength to move on so quickly. I wish I had that strength.

 

Here it is, almost 4 months later and I feel like I am only 90% healed.

 

Thanks for sharing your story, it may help some.

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It is not that I am strong. Still part of me has this lingering feelings but as more days passes, the thought of reconnecting slowly died on me. Even if the Ex to contact me and wanting to talk. I seriously do not think that is what I want. Also, it could be that, when we were together, he have done so much and have given me so much love. He showed it and I felt it. I am sadden that things had to end but the love that I have received from him, I have no regrets. Then or now. We weren't making each others happy so it had to end. It hurts for the time being but as much as it hurts, deep down, it was for the best.

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It is not that I am strong. Still part of me has this lingering feelings but as more days passes, the thought of reconnecting slowly died on me. Even if the Ex to contact me and wanting to talk. I seriously do not think that is what I want. Also, it could be that, when we were together, he have done so much and have given me so much love. He showed it and I felt it. I am sadden that things had to end but the love that I have received from him, I have no regrets. Then or now. We weren't making each others happy so it had to end. It hurts for the time being but as much as it hurts, deep down, it was for the best.

 

You have a great attitude as well. But I still think you are strong, at least stronger than me.

 

It's taken me almost 3 months to get to a place close to you. But, there was a lot of drama that went with all of it.

 

I'm sad that we can't be friends. I think my ex hates me.

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i am doing the same! when my first ex left i, i grieved like no tomorrow. i didnt want to leave my bed.. BUT now.. i am so happy. i am going on a date soon. im flirting and having fun. if he ended it, great. i wont sit and cry over it..as much as he thinks i am. i had a wake up call when he rebounded after me yet texted me at the same time. i dont want a guy who doesnt have a heart. if he had a heart, he wouldnt hurt the rebound girl by texting me or hurt me by "moving on" so fast and rubbing it in. i know i can always do better. he on the other hand, had a girlfriend that did the world for him. honestly idk why i do so much (picnics, surprises, dinners, baking, letters lalala) but hey now that he doesnt have that, im sure it will hit him soon enough. ill be over it by then im sure. this time around im much stronger and i wont deal with bs.

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