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I just wondered if anybody has been in a similar circumstance to this. My ex decided she needed "a break" and then lied to me repeatedly and it turns out she has been staying with another guy. I decided to go NC which I think was the right decision.

 

Today is the first day she hasn't tried to contact me. Her previous messages have been apologetic, pleading with me to speak to her, saying she hates herself for what she did, that it will never happen again, saying she's so angry with herself that she's thrown it all away- but nothing explicitly along the lines of "I want to get back together, let's talk about if we can do that", so I've not responded to her.

 

But after everything I still care and worry about her. I've started to get worried because her messages to me went from pretending not to be bothered to desperate to pretty despondent. She's quite a delicate person to start off with and has been through a lot. She lives alone, her family aren't very close, her friends live in different cities. She uses a chat app that tells you when a person last used it, she normally talks every hour to her friends on it but it says she hasn't been on since last night which is when she last messaged me. I'm just really worried about her. If I'm genuinely concerned should I contact her or is there another way? I know I'm not responsible for her and this is probably just a moment of weakness, but if she did something stupid and I wasn't there for her I'd never forgive myself.

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If she did do something stupid then you will certainly hear about it within a few days or a week. Chances are that she is just occupied with something else and you texting or calling her will undo all the great work you did through not responding to her.

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Instead of thinking that she isn't contacting you because she did something to herself, perhaps think of it as the reason she isn't contacting you is because she is respecting your wish of NC. No matter how desperate one sounds, at one point you take a look at yourself and ask, "what am I doing?". I'm thinking she got to this point, and is starting her healing process as well.

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