boo420 Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 We've been seeing each other for about a month. I'm 23, he's 27. We've "known" each other as acquaintances for about a year now... Have spoken sporadically since then, and about a month ago we talked on fb which led to an in person meeting that same night. I think we had a great adventure. We seemed to hit it off really well, and he would text me everyday after... Sometimes ongoing for the whole day and night. He would try to spend time with me about every other day and sometimes more. We recently went on a short weekend trip we'd been dying to do, but now I've been back three days and haven't heard from him. I texted him the night we got back, after he dropped me off to thank him. He texted me two pictures from the trip 20 mins later and i haven't heard from him since. Any thoughts on this? I know 3 days isn't a lot for most people but I'm only over thinking this because he used to text me every day for the past month. This seems out of nowhere especially after our amazing trip. I think I'm pretty good at reading the subtle body language, vocal tones, and facial expressions and I can say almost for sure he had an equally great time while we were there. I'm confused. My current theories are a) he likes me but not enough to be involved in a relationship, (which I never pushed for in any way but i know feelings develop over time regardless, i mean look at me now!). OR, he has been spending a quite a bit of money and paying for almost everything but I know he doesn't make all that much. I really really don't want to just ask him because he KNOWS what he's doing and chose not to communicate with me in the first place. Link to comment
mhowe Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 In a month old relationship --- 3 days isn't long. However, it is suspicious that he dropped off the radar after a weekend away with you --- when you slept together? However, you are not "dating", "in a relationship" or even "bf/gf" at this point. So I would wait to hear. Link to comment
sunshinesmiles Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 communication is SO important and for him do have distanced himself from you is saying something. Although it's childish for him to do that without explaining, it won't get you anywhere to sit and wait on him to decide to talk. If you feel that you could have a good thing going with this guy, keep it all out in the open and clear from the start. If you feel he's pulling back, ask him why. Based on his answer, it will help you figure out if its worth moving forward with him or moving on without him. Communicate, life is way you short to sit around and wait for a guy to pull his head out of his ass. haha. good luck hun! Sent from my LG-MS770 using Tapatalk Link to comment
Glowguy Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 This is a little bit of a double standard here I think. Personally I don't think three days is all that long in the initial stages of dating but it seems like you are a but further along so it could indicate that he has lost interest. It's kind of unreasonable to totally fault the guy here when it sounds like you have gone the same amount of time without contacting him. Did you make it clear to him that you want to continue seeing him? If I don't get any contact from the girl after a date then I often assume she is not interested so it goes both ways. I don't think it's all on him to keep the communication going. Link to comment
hodgeheg Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 I'm with glowguy, have you tried to contact him but he just hasn't replied? That would be different to the scenario you described, where it would seem that it was your "turn" to contact him. Would he normally text you regardless of whether he was the last to text or not? Link to comment
quirky Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 It sounds like he has withdrawn a bit to process what is happening. Sometimes excitement takes over and you're in the moment and everything is great and happening fast not allowing the time for reflection. It is quite common to take a step back at some point to consider properly what you want, exclusivity, a relationship or whether you were just infatuated for a while. Not sure whether you should contact him..maybe he just needs this time to decide how to move forward. Link to comment
MattW Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Who knows? People are generally dumb and tend to do things that make little to no sense. It's probably for the best to just disregard him for now, and then if he contacts you again sometime soon, you'll be pleasantly surprised. Link to comment
happyfrank Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Nothing is wrong. It's his personality. He will call you soon. Link to comment
boo420 Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 In a month old relationship --- 3 days isn't long. However, it is suspicious that he dropped off the radar after a weekend away with you --- when you slept together? However, you are not "dating", "in a relationship" or even "bf/gf" at this point. So I would wait to hear. We slept together about a week or less before going on the trip if that matters... I felt like it was pretty much implied we would be sleeping in the same bed when we went on vacation and I guess I chose to do it earlier because I was basically ready but didn't like the pressure/expectation of hooking up for the first time on a "romantic getaway." It was probably best that way because it ended up being freezing cold on the trip haha. Link to comment
boo420 Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 This is a little bit of a double standard here I think. Personally I don't think three days is all that long in the initial stages of dating but it seems like you are a but further along so it could indicate that he has lost interest. It's kind of unreasonable to totally fault the guy here when it sounds like you have gone the same amount of time without contacting him. Did you make it clear to him that you want to continue seeing him? If I don't get any contact from the girl after a date then I often assume she is not interested so it goes both ways. I don't think it's all on him to keep the communication going. I was the last to text him after he sent me those pictures... I just commented on them the next morning because by the time he sent them I was already asleep. He has a lot more pics btw. Link to comment
boo420 Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 It sounds like he has withdrawn a bit to process what is happening. Sometimes excitement takes over and you're in the moment and everything is great and happening fast not allowing the time for reflection. It is quite common to take a step back at some point to consider properly what you want, exclusivity, a relationship or whether you were just infatuated for a while. Not sure whether you should contact him..maybe he just needs this time to decide how to move forward. I hope this is it. I kind of know in my heart he's not relationship material or maybe even ready for one... So it's not like I'm specifically pursuing a relationship.... But still, I was having lots of fun and I like him lots as a friend. I mean he's been a friend for a long time now. Also suddenly not hearing from someone you had such intimate moments with and was chasing you like crazy not too long ago is a huge bruise to your ego. But I guess I have to deal because my ego and I DO NOT want to contact him! Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 If he's not relationship material I would put my ego aside if I were you and stop investing so much analysis and emotion into it. Many people chase in the beginning because they enjoy the thrill of the chase. Link to comment
missmarple Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 If a guy I had slept with and had just gone on a trip with and who used to contact me daily, suddenly stopped contacting me for 3 days, I would contact him to make sure he's ok. Link to comment
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