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Well, my name is joe and I'm a guy. My problem is I'm not really a guy. I'm no more of a man than a small boy. I'm 18 and look like I'm a man, but on the inside I'm a scared, confused, hopeless child. Now, I've always tried to e a very optimistic person, but recent events in the last few years have made me a very very cynical person. I don't tell people the bad news or what I think is going to happen, but in my head that's all I think about now. The ty things in life. I wish I didn't have guy parts so I wouldn't even think about girls or have feelings. I don't care for love anymore or sex or girls. I've tried and I've tried hard. The experiences were all just as bad as they could get. My confidence is gone or basically nonexistent. I don't understand how I could change for the better or anything. I try and go on dates and talk to girls and all that. I had a date to see a movie this week and I got a yes, until she said no because I'm not experienced enough and haven't had lots of gfs and all that stuff. Am I surprised? Not really I guess. It's normal for me to get turned down and all and I mean I did see this coming so I shouldn't be surprised. It gets better. Now, I've had one gf and I thought it was awesome and all and that she liked me. As times passed, I realized that something was wrong. She didn't really have a physical attraction to me because I'm lacking a lot in the male part department, if you know what I mean. I didn't realize right away, but I did and I felt embarrassed and I felt sorry that I couldn't do anything to change that. Too bad that wasn't the first instance. I've had two other instances of either verbal disappointment or some kind of displayed disappointment. I feel so dumb and stupid and like a waste of a guy. I feel like I have to be perfect in every other aspect now if I ever want a girl to actually give me a second chance. I'm not the best looking, but I like to think I'm not awful either. I'm just terribly scared of the future. I know that it's not gonna change for a long time like my experience with girls and all that. It's gonna get worse when I'm 26 or so and have to explain why I'm a virgin, inexperienced, and have had just one gf. I feel like an absolute joke. I just wish I didn't have feelings for girls or war love or companionship or anything like that. I just want to move on and get on with my life and goals. It just sucks and I don't know how to fix it. I'm scared of sex because of my very unfortunate size and lack of experience. I'm afraid of girls because I don't know what to do with them and have just had no experience basically. I'm just frustrated and wish I could just forget about all these things. People always ask me why I would want to join the army and all that stuff, but I didn't tell them it's because I can dere my country with nothing to lose. It allows me to give others a chane to have things I just will never be able to get and I feel like that's the best gift I can leave behind. I just really want the feelings to go away

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Wishing to not have any sort of attraction is pointless. But learning how to live with being a very young, inexperienced man is not.

And that is what is happening to you, you are young and inexperienced but far from hopeless.

Don't take a few bad dating experiences as the end of the world. Especially at 18 years of age. I myself, didn't start seriously dating or experimenting sexually until just after my 18th birthday.

There is no time limit on when a person should lose their virginity. Every person is different and you will know when you are ready and with the time is right with the right person.

As far as being insecure about your size, every woman is different and has different likes and dislikes, and in time you will learn of other ways to please a woman too.

Just going on a date with a girl doesn't mean you have to have sex with her right away. Give yourself some time to meet the right girl that you are comfortable enough with to take your relationship to that next level.

Don't be so hard on yourself. The teen years are very hard years but they are survivable. Don't fret it will get better.

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You're 18, pretty natural that there's a lot of changes and doubts. But what's killin' ya is the attitude. You are only as good as you see yourself, not your parts. So what if you think something isn't up to snuff? If it's something you can change, do it. If it's not, acknowledge that, accept it and don't let it become a in the armor. And more often than not, what we think is wrong is simply us over thinking things.

 

I feel as though a lot of this is simply in your mind, but you can't get over some mental hurdle, which seems to have to do with sexual experience? We all have to start somewhere. Don't worry about the endgame when it comes to women, sex, etc. Just focus on the here and now. If it does come down to the sideways shuffle, well, hopefully the person you're with actually cares about you. And if that's the case, no lack of anything will be an issue, because most any problem can be resolved with some hard work.

 

 

When you get enough posts, feel free to PM me. Easier to tackle issues one at a time and one on one. Stay classy

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Come on man, don't give up just because you got rejected once or twice. Don't self pity yourself either, because it's not a good quality to have

 

Man up and face your life challenges. Your anything but a failure. Try to be more confident and love yourself more.

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It's not like I've been shot down once or twice. It's a normal thing. The problem is when they say yes. When they say yes, I feel pretty good and accomplished and then something happens an I get a last minute sorry I can't make it or whatever and I feel like a tool. As for the sexual stuff, I've tried. Most girls I know or have tried to do anything want no part of an inexperienced guy and all that. I stay in shape and eat healthy and I try to have a nice body and all that. I can change that, but I can't change the size thing. I haven't been able to change my experience part either. It's frustrating. The only person that's supposed to not care is a gf or whatever and the only one ice had clearly didn't care....ha, ha, ha. I don't like the constant oh you're sweet and so nice and blah blah blah you'd be a perfect bf or whatever and then the real joke is me asking them out. I wish I had a gf or something, but then I realize that I don't know what is actually do because clearly what I've done doesn't work, but wait I can learn...oh yeah I can't because no one wants the rookie or the guy that's basically a rookie. I mean I'm myself around girls. I just don't get an actual chance anymore. I can't be 26 when someone actually decides that I'm not a bad guy and they go out for a date. I don't pity myself, really. I just hate that I want things that I can't have. I can say oh sex seems great or a gf would be nice, but I'm just kidding because it's just gonna go horribly. I'm not really a mean person, but when girls that don't get aske out a lot turn me down, I just sit back and wonder how I could've messed up or done something completely wrong. I'm just really annoyed and sadly, I do wish I didn't have to deal with stupid things like this. I have bigger and more important things to focus on, yet my feelings always want girls I can't have. So yes, there is a little bit of doubt in me just because of the decent amount I've encountered. This is a fight that I don't really want to get involved with and just want it to go away.

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But thank you guys for the advice so far. I know I'm young and there's still hope. I just don't understand how it's supposed to change unless I just become the only guy on earth. Part of me thinks it will so I guess it's a start

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Welcome to life buddy. It's almost always hard and almost always messy and almost always beautiful at the same time. Man your only 18, what's the rush? Have fun and enjoy yourself at that age. Go to clubs and bars and have fun with your friends. If your getting but hurt because your getting rejected well man up and move on to the next girl. One will eventually say yes, trust me on that.

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By sounds of it, you sound like you're in a 'rutt'. In a negative. That can happen, like a Depression.

You're tired of all the neg's and dont want to bother 'trying' anymore...

 

That is okay, but do you think you should maybe look into some counselling, so you can look into this and at least be able to vent it out to them and clear the air a bit?

>> "I don't care for love anymore or sex or girls. I've tried and I've tried hard. The experiences were all just as bad as they could get. My confidence is gone or basically nonexistent".

 

With that girls 'judgement', that is just hers. Dont look at it as all a 'bad' thing over her response. You are after all, only 18. Yes, things are just beginning for you in that way.

 

As for moving on, you will! Give it all time. That's all you've got.. time. Time to meet up with someone special.. time to achieve your goals.. time to live!

 

If your afraid of the 'inexperience'? Can talk to counsellor about this too- not sure if you can learn more from something like porn? etc. (there is more than just size.. like they say it's how you use it..lol).

 

I suggest you do NOT look at the army as way of an 'escape', do that only if you are truly interested.

 

Anyways... think about this idea of some counselling, I feel it can do you some good.

 

good luck

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Sounds like you're doing something right if you've had these various experiences. Remember that these girls are going through their own issues and usually you'll never know for sure why people do the things they do, so making your own conclusions is pointless.

 

The size thing isn't nearly as big an issue for women as it is for men. Most women actually require more than just size to be satisfied, and your skills matter infinitely more than your size. Skills are NOT learned by sleeping around and having lots of partners. Skills come from having a healthy relationship with one woman where you are willing to learn together.

 

I'm sorry girls your age can be such brats. At your age I was a virgin and so were most of my friends. I'm only 32 so things can't have changed that much since then. At that time, we were looking for someone like you, and turning down the gross ty guys.

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I just want a girl that'll except me for me and I've got to wait because everyone is immature. Society doesn't help me either. The longer you wait, the more people think there's something wrong with you. I'm not perfect I know that and you guys have said that size doesn't matter, but in all honesty, you're telling me that it's ok to be confident with a 3-3.5 inch guy down there? I don't blame the girls necessarily for expecting more. I will give it time. I wouldn't be making a big deal out of this, but this just really bothers me and it bothers other guys that happen to be small like this or smaller. My goals aren't that hard. I wanna finish ROTC, finish college, start a career or two, and hopefully find some girl that will except me. It's the last one that's been the hardest. I'm just wondering what your personal experiences have been like. I mean with guys that aren't that big and aren't too experienced. I just keep beating myself up over this. It's stupid, but it's a constant thing between my friends, family and society just talking about sex and this and that and I just don't wanna hear it anymore. It makes me feel like less of a man and it makes me want no sexual desires

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Ok, listen to me, I was engaged to a very sexy, handsome, fun, artistic man who just happened to be a little 'short changed' below the belt. Believe me, there are definitely things you can do to fulfill each other sexually. We were together 2 years, I was deeply in love but the relationship ended because HE cheated on me! So, obviously, there are women who do not care about a man's size. Too many in my case obviously...LOL.

Do you realize how many girls are out there? Maybe you need to venture out a bit from your secluded group or neighborhood girlies. What do you enjoy? Sports? Working out? Running? Take yourself out of your comfort zone. Join a health club, go to the library, instead of the local McDonalds go to the one the next town over. Sitting around worrying about something that you can make better is ridiculous.

Listen to the guys that are posting here with advice. They are trying to help you and what they are saying makes perfect sense. You are not alone in this but you must quit feeling sorry for yourself.

Yes, sex, girlfriends, dating is a part of society but at 18 you are worrying too much about what other people are saying. I bet most of those friends of yours that boast about their sexual adventures haven't even had sex yet. Or if they did, believe me, they aren't as experienced, or getting as much tail (sorry) as they are claiming.

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Yeah, as soosad said, you're in a rut which can lead to it's own form of depression. I was like that at your age for a different reason, but the end result was basically the same.

 

 

The best way to get over it--and forgive me if it sounds cliche--is to man up! This isn't me ragging on you, but you've gotta get your confidence back! Be bold, don't fear rejection but get right back to it if it happens. Try meeting women as friends first instead of straight to dating. It obviously isn't a guarantee, but most girls I've dated or done anything with I was friends with for a bit first. Or friends of friends, that works well also. But don't focus on women as your top priority. And I wouldn't exactly advise joining the military anymore, but that's another matter. Just go have fun, the girls will come with that in their own time. Trust me on it.

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Your only 18. Your not supposed to be experienced. And you should not be so cynical and insecure either so young. I think you should see a counselor. Most girls don't care about your "size". You need to boost your confidence and have more faith in yourself that you are worth it. Then you will find it easier to find a nice girl

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Hey man, don't put so much on yourself. You're fine, be who you are now, where you are. 26 is a long way off. EVERYBODY has their own issues and insecurities as Bekka pointed out.

 

The fact is we ALL have to filter the people we will accept into our lives and those we won't. If someone doesn't accept us for some attribute or trait that's THEIR PROBLEM, not ours.

 

Lastly, rejection can suck, I get it. It's a blow to the ego. But really it's good information. If someone's not into you, the sooner you know the better, you can move on. Don't take it personally, it's not about you. And yes some people don't hand out rejections well. Once again, no matter what anyone says, it's not about you.

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