Sonia2014 Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Hi. My husband and I have been married for nearly 5 months now. It has definitely not been easy and if I could turn the clock back I would never have married him. We were seeing each other over a year and a half before we got married. During this time he has always drank 6-7 beers at least nearly every day. I know the reason he drinks is due to issues he has gone through. But never the less I loved him and knowing this foolishly married him hoping everything would be okay. Now were married sometimes he is ok. But more often then not he is either drunk or hungover. He hardly ever wants to be intimate which upsets me. He is argumentative with me and has hit me once. Sometimes I do provoke him as I can get moody. But when he is angry he says the most awful things to me and puts me down. Then the next day he tells me to forget about it as tomorrow is another day. How do I reason with someone with that mentality. I don't know what to do. I don't see this getting any better. I feel to leave him but I can't. I can't stop him drinking either. He doesn't think he has a problem. What do I do Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Leave. You can't allow anyone to hit you. Ever. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 I can't stop him drinking either. He doesn't think he has a problem. What do I do As long as he doesn't think he has a problem, then you have no hope of it ever getting better. He is a true alcoholic in the full meaning of the word and it will only get a LOT worse before it gets better (if ever). The only time things may improve is if and when he hits rock bottom and gets the help he needs (AA). Also, the fact that he has hit you before is plenty reason enough for you to leave. You are now living with an alcoholic and abusive man. You need to take care of yourself - see a lawyer about a divorce. Link to comment
LC8328 Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Go here link removed. Call (800) 799-7233. Talk to someone directly and let them help you. He cannot be reasoned with, and he will not change. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 You most certainly can and must leave him before you end up in the ER with broken bones, next time he hits you. There will be a next time and many more. You do not provoke him. That's pure victim speak. There is never a reason, an excuse or a justification for someone hitting you. He is an alcoholic through and through and he is an abuser to boot. You can't help him and you can't change him. You need to leave to save yourself and your life and well being. Love does not conquer all and you will be better than fine without him. Seriously, you can never do worse then what you have now. Pretty much anything will be an improvement. Link to comment
shes2smart Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 You may also want to see what Al-Anon has in terms of groups where you live link removed Link to comment
shelty24 Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 You need to leave. You have not even been together 2 years. It should be easy to leave. See a counselor for co-dependency. You are co-dependent. No self respecting, self loving person would put up with this. Link to comment
lerenard Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 I agree - you should leave him, dear. He is not interested in solving his issues and in saving this marriage. Link to comment
Lonewing Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Annulment is very very easy to do in your shoes...he's married to the bottle, you're number two... Link to comment
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