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Something positive? Feel sad


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Hi everyone, so I feel ok two months past my break-up, I still have very bad moments but when I'm feeling ok I'm still unhappy. I'm sort of used to live with it, it is just feeling very hopeless and weird. I don't know how to describe this feeling. Can the members share stories when they got over their painful break-ups and were happy? Sometimes I feel I will never get over this hurtful and traumatic experience. I feel talking in a civilised manner to the ex would help, but he is ignoring me.

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I'm getting over a breakup right now myself, my exuBPDgf left me again and got engaged to my replacement after a month. Needless to sat I lost in the process of our relationship, I was replaced three times. Yeah I hurt but I need to get on the saddle again and get myself back. I am a full time student getting ready to graduate with my bachelors degree in Information Systems and Cyber Security, I'm going through a rough time with my Dad being sad (Dementia) but somehow with positive vibes from friends and therapy I think I will be ok in the long run. I get times where I feel like no one cares, helpless and in a dark place I have chosen to continue on and be happy

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I was with my ex for 13 years. We broke up in August 2010. I did not get to a happy state of mind until about 9 months ago. While I did do NC for a large chunk of that, about a year ago, I began contact with him. I saw him a year ago and that was the last time I did. This past November, I nailed the door shut and have cut him off completely from my life. I have no desire to be his friend and he has nothing of interest to say to me--he's already said it, but is with who he wants to be with--so let him stay there. I have found someone else who is as different from him as day is to night. It took 3 1/2 years to find him, but I'm glad I did. Some people find their partner way earlier than that. This new guy is formidable and I always knew it would take someone like that to turn my head.

 

I felt hopeless, listless, unfocused, distracted, down on myself for easily a good 15 months. It took a lot of time, a lot of tears, a lot of journaling and a bit of therapy for me to get to a place of peace in my head. Mind you, I was 50 when this went down, so it's not like I had the resilience of a 20 or 30 something.

 

It seems like you will never get out of the dark place, but you have to trust the process. The dawn does come and it comes gradually--just like the sun every morning. One day, you discover you didn't spend it all day obsessing about them and that day will be one of the best days of your life.

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Hang in there, it does get better and yes you will be happy again. Two months is nothing in terms of healing from a breakup, so give yourself alot of time and love and permission to heal. I've been through one marriage ending and a handful of relationship breakups and happily, the heart seems to have an infinite capacity to love, lose, heal, move on and love again. You are going to all right and you will love again. Use this time now to focus on you and your life and what other things bring you joy. It helps.

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