How do i deal with the silent treatment?

[amipushy]

Why dont you go around to his house?

[missmarple]

I don't understand.

After a year and a half, and without any major argument, your boyfriend disappears and you're only reaching out to him through phonecalls and texts?

I would have gone to his house, called his parents or friends to ask if he's ok and, in general, I'd be sick with worry.

Unless there's something you aren't telling us. Like, has he done this before?

[FlashEng1]

I don't understand.

After a year and a half, and without any major argument, your boyfriend disappears and you're only reaching out to him through phonecalls and texts?

I would have gone to his house, called his parents or friends to ask if he's ok and, in general, I'd be sick with worry.

Unless there's something you aren't telling us. Like, has he done this before?

 

Exactly what I was thinking and why I gave him the benefit of the doubt and figured he and James Bond got into it and lost or something... I feel like this should be posted in a missing people forum or something.

[mfan]

Do you have a way to contact someone in his family, just to check? Couldn't hurt to be safe. Make it very matter-of-fact though. Explain that he's been missing for 2 weeks and simply ask if he's ok. Don't bring up anything about suspicions or "he doesn't answer" or anything like that. Find out the answer, so you can either move on or address the emergency if there is one.

[goodheartlady]

You don't deal with him.

 

You go out and start dating other men.

 

Someone who cuts off contact does not care about you, or want you.

 

He is gone. You should move on too.

[chr8st8na]

Exactly what I was thinking and why I gave him the benefit of the doubt and figured he and James Bond got into it and lost or something... I feel like this should be posted in a missing people forum or something.

 

Lol imagining the Missing forum- it would have lots of ppl posting about missing guys/girls from one date and or had a one nighter with.

[lady00]

OP I am sorry you are going through this but you are doing the right thing by moving on. The odds are he took the cowardly way out of the relationship. The same thing happened to a friend of mine - guy just disappeared out of the blue. Eventually he did tell her that he didn't have the guts to tell her to her face that he wanted out of the relationship.

[jennylove]

Nothing tragic has happened to him. You would have heard from his family, police, job, news, etc by now. There is a good chance that he is with someone else, but only he knows.

 

what surprises me is you didnt notice subtle signs before the big disappearing act. Was he texting or calling u less? Taking a lot longer to call u back? Cancelling plans? Dressing better, working out, eating healthier?

 

You seem to be handling this very well. If u need support, check out the healing after breakup forum. Its a godsend for anyone struggling.

[browneyedgirl36]

OP I am sorry you are going through this but you are doing the right thing by moving on. The odds are he took the cowardly way out of the relationship. The same thing happened to a friend of mine - guy just disappeared out of the blue. Eventually he did tell her that he didn't have the guts to tell her to her face that he wanted out of the relationship.

 

Yep. I understand what people are saying about being concerned about him, but the fact that he's reading the texts suggests that he's perfectly OK and isn't lying in a hospital somewhere or being held for ransom by kidnappers. I'd be very surprised if there was actually something wrong that was keeping him from contacting her. Like Lady00, I've seen this happen to people I know as well -- the old "vanishing act" -- and it's never been about an emergency or something "wrong." It's always been about a person trying to weasel his way out of a relationship (and yes, I say 'his' because I've only seen cases where men do this -- though I'm sure some women do it too!)

[Amp33]

I'm sure he's fine. I know he's read my texts at least. We both have iphones and he has his read time stamp option on.

 

 

I'm not going to call/text anymore. I think I made enough attempts. At this point i"m just going to work on moving on. But still, I wish I knew why. I suppose at this point I never will know

 

Honestly, if I hadn't lived with my boyfriend he probably would have done the same thing to me. He's a coward. But since we lived together he started to shut down, close himself off and try not to talk to me. He was constantly looking at his phone or watching tv or going to his friends house so I wouldn't have the chance to talk to him about something. Two weeks is an awfully long time to ignore your girlfriend for. Especially after a year of dating. So really id say he's being a complete coward and trying to take the "easy" way out. You deserve so much better than that. So you are right to try and move on. Give his belongings back. Don't contact him whatsoever. If it says you're together on Facebook, take it off. Make it apparent that you're no longer going to try. If he attempts to contact you, ignore it. He's the one that decided to be an like this, so he deserves the exact same treatment. Take it from someone who just went through a parallel situation. You're better off without someone who treats you this way.

[missmarple]

Lol imagining the Missing forum- it would have lots of ppl posting about missing guys/girls from one date and or had a one nighter with.

 

One date yes.

One nighter yes.

Even one month.

 

But a year and a half and without any existing problems? Well, I've never seen something like that.

[Lavender25]

I wonder if she still hasn't heard from him?

 

But she sounds pretty da*n strong in this thread so more power to her!

[maccerz]

What a disgusting coward.. I cannot believe there are people out there who would treat someone they once cared about like this.. sociopathic behaviour!! Have you heard from him since last time you posted?