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Quarter Life Crisis - Need A Life Audit?


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I turned 24 in December.

 

Everyone says this is so young, you have the rest of your life, etc etc - but all I can feel is the pressure of being 30 and the weight of my own expectations pressing down on me.

 

When I was a little girl I used to think, 'I can't wait till I'm 18, I'll have so much and be so much! I can finally escape'.

 

Well here I am stuck in the same small town doing a job I don't like and it's all my fault.

 

Everyone else I know seems to be achieving and happy starting their careers.

 

I got into mine by chance. I began working at an estate agents because it was the best thing going for me at the time so I took it. At first the change was great (as always). I studied and passed an industry recognised qualification after being there 2 years knowing in my heart I wasn't interested. Now I'm qualified at a job that bores me to hell.

 

I have a few other options but they seem like wild cards now I'm looking to get married to my fiancé in the summer, buy a house with him next year and start a family.

 

Going to university just seems like it would put all my other plans on hold for too long.

 

Does anyone else feel like they've left it too late? Spent life asleep in the waiting room? Expected someone to save them? Expected it all to just fall together?

 

I feel like I've had hopes everything will be just fine eventually - but this is wearing thin with no direction or goals. I simply don't know what I want to do! How do I find out what my true passion is??!

 

Someone looking at my life from the outside might think I've got it fine - a fiancé who has a good job and supports me, I live in a beautiful, old stylish apartment and buy all the clothes and shoes I want, I work part time at an office a few doors down where the job is not demanding and the coffee is always flowing. I have full weekends to do whatever I want and a CV of good grades if I ever wanted to get into a university.

 

Why the lack of ambition? I'm so unhappy. I feel like I need a life re-haul or audit - I want to scream!

 

- Lolita

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I feel like I've had hopes everything will be just fine eventually - but this is wearing thin with no direction or goals. I simply don't know what I want to do! How do I find out what my true passion is??!

 

- Lolita

 

Your true passion will evolve over time, I recently went back to university and love every minute of it. Your only 24 sheesh, you still have plenty of time to do a degree if that's what you want.

 

I sort of fell into my passion over time, and realised that I couldn't stand my current job for many reasons so I just quit and started from scratch. I know it's hard but why live your life unhappy?

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Look at it this way- whether you do these things or not, the time will pass anyway. Uni takes too long? You will still hit 28 whether you graduate or not. Bored with life, you'll still hit 30 whether you make the changes or not.

 

Motivation comes from having something to motivate you though. You can't wish for motivation first. So try as much as you can. Because the older you get, the more responsibilities you get, and the harder it is to find the time.

 

What do you do with the time you're not working?

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I have a few other options but they seem like wild cards now I'm looking to get married to my fiancé in the summer, buy a house with him next year and start a family.

 

 

Why can't you do your other options as well? Uni can be done part time, but it would take a little longer.

 

I'm sure you want to do all those things in the quote, but I would advise you make room for your own personal advancement as well.

 

I agree with the others. You need to find motivation. What job would be fulfilling for you? If you need uni to get it, it's worth it. Try new hobbies for the weekends.

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Wait - so you work part time, have a fiancé who can subsidize your lifestyle, want to switch careers, and still think it's too inconvenient to go to school?

 

Honestly, don't know what to say. What exactly are you asking?

 

I have a friend who doesn't like her job, which is pretty entry level, and so I asked her what she would ideally like to do. She said administration but she isn't qualified. I asked why not take a course or something - I mean, this isn't a huge commitment. She made all sorts of excuses that she doesn't want new debt and whatever. Then she goes out and buys a boat.

 

That's when I realized how little we had in common. Some people have huge challenges that they overcome. Other people have tiny problems that they refuse to overcome.

 

Are you perhaps complacent because you know your fiancé will help support you? After the children come, do you plan to keep working or stay home?

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The good thing about you is that you have youth on your side for about the next 13 years. You're not as on hold as you want to believe. I think it's more a factor of you getting out of your own way and making a plan to move forward. Map out exactly what you want to do and what it will take to get there.

 

Happiness is what you make for yourself. It's all in your hands and no one else's.

 

You are in a job you can't stand, but that job is keeping you off unemployment. It can be the means of you positioning yourself to go in the direction you want to head in. Yes, it's going to take time. Anything worth having takes time to cultivate. As I said, you have youth on your side... and time isn't going to wait. If you freeze, 30's going to get here just as fast as it will if you put yourself in motion towards what you want. The difference being, you will have wasted 6 years being frozen.

 

You can go back to school--you don't have to accomplish a 4 yr degree program in 10 months.

 

You may benefit by working with a life coach. I've heard of them and am thinking of using one.

 

I downloaded this really interesting app for my iPad called "Unstuck". If you have an iPhone/iPad, look it up. It really helps to "weed whack" those things which seem to be entangling one's thinking. link removed

 

I had a quarter life crisis when I turned 25 and I had another even more profound crisis of faith when I was around 34. I think I'm about due for my half century crisis any day now...

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