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The Best way to handle a break up?


Johnny21422

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I just had a talk with one of my buddies who had a break up 8 months ago they had a 4 year relationship. The girl fell out of love maybe (GIGS) w/ no 3rd party involve

 

basically he told me stuff what he did to move on and how to handle the ex after the break up and now after 8 months it seems the ex gf wanted to get back with him but he doesn't want her back anymore..

 

So here's the thing he did told me

 

- He did not remove the ex from facebook he just stayed away from all social media and basically started improve himself going to gym, financial, job.

 

- He never contacts the ex after break up

 

- When the ex text or called he answer indifferent or he is busy so he needs to go and sometimes he doesn't reply when he feels he doesn't need to reply..

 

Like he doesn't give a f*ck mentality. He said that dealing with the break up is hard but he needed to tell himself everyday when he wakes up that is over from day 1.

 

He said that removing ex in facebook and ignoring seems immature for him. So he just left the ex there and he never keeps tab on what she is doing..

but he knows his boundaries he said. There are times like they NC for 2 months and ex suddenly contacts him but he doesn't care what she says or wants..

 

He just started living his life and just treated the ex like a normal person when she contacts him. He also said that he replies when he finish all the things he needed to finish.. he doesn't make the ex priority in his life.

 

Listen guys I am not saying you should follow all the things that he did. every situation is different.

 

maybe this guy.. this is just how he handled the break up perfectly..

 

What do you guys think??

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Agree with everything but the FB thing--it's not immature, it's self-preservation to remove that person from your life. It sounds like he didn't have the "urges" that a lot of people do when it comes to things like Twitter, Facebook, and Linkedin....but I know for me, I would have trouble squelching my curiosity, so I remove from temptation. Also, FB for me is like deleting a phone number....just like drunk texting, you can drunk Facebook. Believe me, you can.

 

Basically, what your friend did was what most people NEED to do--deal with it from day 1.

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Yes, you have to have the attitude that if the ex doesn't want to be with you, is not willing to work through whatever issues, or thinks the grass is greener elsewhere, then it is their loss. They cease being a priority the moment they end the relationship. He demonstrated that perfectly imo.

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He just started living his life and just treated the ex like a normal person when she contacts him. He also said that he replies when he finish all the things he needed to finish.. he doesn't make the ex priority in his life.

 

I don't see anything that would indicate that he's truly let go, and is moving on. He hasn't blocked her from contacting him, and he still replies when she contacts him. In other words, he's still keeping a door open.

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Maybe everyone handle the break up differently. So probably when the ex contacts him he always acts indifferent to her and he doesn't hope for anything and just accepted the fact that is over from day 1.

 

 

 

I don't see anything that would indicate that he's truly let go, and is moving on. He hasn't blocked her from contacting him, and he still replies when she contacts him. In other words, he's still keeping a door open.
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I agree with this 100%. It's time to move on, whether or not she's on FB or not doesnt mean 1) there is any chance or hope for reconciliation and 2) that he needs to be vindictive. You date someone for x number of years, it's not crazy that one person suddenly loses interest, it's not personal, so imo deleting the ex, is really irrelevant. People go on and that's that. Is there an open door? not necessarily. Does that mean you do things that may hurt their feelings? no... Dumpers still care about their exes, I think deleting is a bit extreme.

 

Will she come back? who knows and he should focus on moving on, butalso no sense in being completely extreme either.

 

Again this is just my opinion.

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