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Girlfriend left me for her roommate


PewPewPew

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Not sure if this is the correct forum but here goes:

 

My girlfriend and I broke up in January of last year and got back together in May. Everything was going great until August when we got into a small fight at a party as a result of me acting insecure. We didn't see or talk to each other the rest of the weekend and when we talked on that Monday it seemed like she wanted to break up but never went through with it. We were in a limbo stage over the next few months where we'd talk during the week and meet up on weekends when we happened to be in town (she and I happened to have lots of separate trips during the fall) to hang out and whenever we were together it was like old times. Whenever I would ask her what she was thinking about in regards to us us she would say she "doesn't know."

 

In early October she moved into an apartment she found on Craigslist with two guys who were looking to replace their girl roommate that was leaving to move in with her boyfriend. The girl that was moving out vouched for the two guys and said they were amazing people and roommates. I met them both and have to agree that they are good guys. We continued to hang out and I stayed the night a couple times at her place with the last time being around mid-November. We met up for drinks the night before Thanksgiving and held hands while we talked and afterwards I walked her to her car and she gave me a kiss.

 

Fast forward a couple weeks and she tells me what we need to talk. The reason being that she's having very strong feelings about one of her roommates and even though she doesn't plan to act on them in fear of ruining the living situation it's made her realize she doesn't want me. For what it's worth I don't know if the guys ever knew that I stayed the night at their place. I took it as best I could and thanked her for being honest. I was doing ok with it because being in the "what are we/where is her mind at" limbo for so long was taking a mental toll. We didn't talk much over the next couple weeks but met up after Christmas to catch up on the holidays. It's then that she breaks it to me that her roommate professed his feelings to her and they are now officially dating. I ran into them a couple days later and gave her a hug and chit chatted with them briefly. Again, I don't think he knew me as anything other than her friend that had attended a couple BBQs at the apartment and of course they both seemed over the moon with happiness.

 

I've been on dates since and my mind is in the right place as far as trying to move on but obviously thoughts still drift back to her so not really looking for advice but rather feedback. There's clearly around a 5% chance that we'd ever get back together due to the circumstances but has anyone been through a similar scenario (I hope not) or have any idea on how to proceed? Or just general thoughts on the whole situation?

 

Thanks!

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I'm really confused.. Why did you agree to keep your relationship secret from her male roommates? And why were you sneaking in/out of their place during your overnight visits?

 

Your first mistake was to be okay with your girlfriend moving in with two (straight) dudes. You're second mistake was not making it clear she was unavailable. From their POV, a new cute single girl moved in. Naturally some flirting went on and now a relationship followed.

 

There is no way to "proceed". Your involvement in this is over. She dumped you and is dating someone else. Next time, don't be so concerned about being "chill" instead of being forthright about your interests. Right now, focus on yourself and move on.

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Agree with both. It wasn't really sneaking in and out - we would get home late from going out and then they would both be gone in the morning due to work but no sense in recapping. What's happened has happened and there's no changing that. I'm dating and moving on and know that is the only way to proceed so I guess my post was just more of a way to get thoughts out there.

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