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I've become a jealous person that I don't like


Amp33

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Only a few months ago I got out of a very unhealthy relationship. He was very manipulative and had caused issues that made it difficult for me to trust him. And since those issues arose, I have brought that suspicion and jealousy along with me into the single life.

 

I do online dating. And I met one gentleman, I developed a crush on him, but things had stopped after the third date. Even by the first date when I knew I liked him I found myself looking on Facebook to see if he's been online recently, I checked on Instagram to see if he's started to follow any other girls from our town and checked the dating website to see if he's been on recently. I hate what I'm doing!! I feel like a creep! But I can't push myself to stop looking up on people like this. I started doing these things to see when my boyfriend was ignoring me, or talking to someone I had asked him not to.. I just can't seem to stop. I'm so embarrassed.. What do I do..

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sounds a bit like my ex... i turned her into a very jealous person somehow (unwillingly), and she had problems trusting me so she broke up with me (though i never did anything nor would i with another woman).

 

what i do have to say is a few things:

- maybe you should take some time off and away from dating, you might not be ready to date again yet

- don't judge new men based on the actions of your old man, we're not the same

- sometimes jealousy is a symptom of insecurities deep seeded in you, try and identify them and address them

- he might be, he might not be, seeing other women, you are not exclusive this should be of absolutely no concern to you unless it's for STD prevention imo

 

hope i helped to some degree

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you need to make a decision to stop 'feeding' this snooping impulse. you know its a horrible feeling and from experience i can tell you that when you do get into a relationship you will destroy it with the jealousy and distrust. i have this same problem and its a hard feeling to get rid of. but i do know that the more you feed it the more it becomes a habit . or me, i still feel jealousy but i choose not to activley look for anything.

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What YOU should be doing is 1) taking some decent time on your own, after the last break up and deal with it.

2) You should be accepting these issue's you have and working on THEM before you aim at the idea of another relationship, so fast so soon.

 

Dont think you've dealt with the reasons being in your last relationship & the break up, therefore it is now affecting this one too!

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