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On-line dating question?


Zoebo2

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Hi All,

 

I've been chatting to this guy on an on-line dating site, he seems really nice and we are having a date this coming weekend. He sent me a message saying "Just for the record I'm not sure about internet dating protocol, but as I'm quite taken with you I'm not speaking with anyone else". However, I can see that he is on-line quite a bit. Should I ask him if what he said still stands? Or wait until I meet him?

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Oh yikes.....he is lying through his teeth and using an old line on you. Don't buy what he says, look at what he is doing. If he is online all the time, he is not there just to kill time and not talk to anyone. This is a huge huge huge red flag the size of China. Beware of manipulators.

 

Even playing devils advocate and giving him total benefit of the doubt that he is just new to online, what mentally sane man is going to tell a complete stranger he hasn't even met yet that he is now totally committed to her and not speaking to other women? None.

 

No matter how you spin it, those kinds of statements are an indication of potential trouble. Sadly, I am speaking from experience of actually having given the benefit of the doubt and gone out on dates with the guys who made those kinds of statements to me. Not one turned out to be sane and one date was one too many. At least that was my mileage and a total waste of time. Perhaps others have something more positive to say.

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Well this is what I am thinking DF, they always say go with your gut and I feel he's giving me some BS here. He probably doesn't realise that I can see the on-line status, if I use my IPad I can't see it, but if I use my IPhone I can. I feel like I want to ask him if what "he" said is still so? I think he's hedging his bets. But there is a chance that what NoIdea said could be equally true. He is sitting at work and on-line most of the time, so it maybe out of shear boredom? I don't know.......

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whther it's a line or not, I wouldn't bring it up. I would just approach your date the way you would any - with a healthy mix of optimisim whilst keeping your guard up.

 

Saying "I've noticed your still online even though you said you weren't talking to anyone other than me, what's that all about?2 is going to be an excruicatingly awkward first date conversation!

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I agree with Dancing^^. I've heard it all before as well. They say this to 'try' & catch your attention & so they can 'keep you around'. Of course he is 'online' and still looking. He hasn't stopped at you- especially if his pic is still up.

 

I've heard a few things thru friends about these things as well. One had met up with a guy, who was apparently interested in her.. little did she know.. 2 months ago, he was 'in a relationship' with another woman half way accross the province.

He'd lied to my friend, saying he was going out of town for work- he was going to his 'other woman'. Ridiculous!

 

Another friend had a guy keep her on her toes for almost 2 weeks..then he stopped!? He, again was 'still looking'. His contact with her stopped- but he is still online..day after day- when he said same thing ' he wasn't looking or hardly on there'- whatever!

 

Watch it and dont take these things at face value. Many will say anything to keep your interest. As many say.. BIG difference between their words and 'actions'.. big time.

They can often say what they 'think' you want to hear. Sad, really.

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Thanks for your reply SS33, it's appreciated. The crazy thing is, if I am honest and I were asked the same question, I would be saying the same thing as you guys. I just find it hard being a trusting person why people are like this, it's just plain wrong, but there we are, that's life. I took my photo off the dating site to show a little commitment, may be I should put it back on? I checked this morning and he is still on-line and then he sends me a text saying "You ok gorgeous?".........Whatever dude!! ha-ha!

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