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whats going on? am i overreacting?


lilcrazy1

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So i have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half.We have had our up and downs but always worked through them together.I really love him and we are very good together.

So my problem is about a month ago his friend (female) whom he hasnt spoken to in years called him up at about 1am.He was polite asked how she was doing and said he was with his girlfriend and said my name.after they got of the phone i asked who it was it he said a friend then i asked who.he then explained it was his friend,they haven't spoken in about a year and that they have never been romantically involved and he thought it was odd she was calling at 1am.

I kinda of was ok with it until when i was with him she called again 2 weeks later he answered and asked how something went then said he would call her later cause he was doing something.I asked him if it was her again and he said she been having a hard time with life and her boyfriend,so she been ringing him asking for advice. he said she was like a lil sister and she can call him at any time.

i left it at then then a week later she calls again he answers.and said he was just at home with me.I then asked him does she call him alot etc.

He said she has been calling alot and he thinks its cause she bored.i asked what they talk about he said lots of things including me and this concert we went to and she was at.He also said she was very happy for him.he said they don't talk daily and he doesn't ring her but will call her back if he see a missed call from her.

I trust my boyfriend but i dont trust this girl for some reason.I looked in his phone and he had deleted lots of the call history to just missed calls and 1 sec calls.So all the convo they had for long had been erased.I haven't spoken to him about this but i find it very fishy.Im not sure if he did this to save an argument with me as we have had discussions about female friends in the past. They havent met up at all as she lives a while away.

 

I looked at her twitter and there are lots of post to her boyfriend or ex now boyfriend saying she misses him and he the only one for her etc.

 

Am i just over reacting? I do feel uncomfortable about her calling him a lot just cause she bored etc.should i bring it up with him again?

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I think if you feel the need to talk about it - you should. He can have a billion lil sisters out there, but if he is in a committed long term relationship he should put you first. He is not a counselor to be giving her advice about her BF now, and he needs to show her his boundaries.

Also, the fact that she started calling now, and you never heard about her before AND the fact that he deletes his calling history is strange. You wont hide something if there is nothing to hide.

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You are overreacting, in my opinion. I don't see anything suspicious in the situation, I've had male friends I called at all sort of times. He told her about you, you've seen her twitter talking about her ex, he's told you she mostly talks about her ex..I don't find it strange at all. As to the deleted call history, I always do that on my phone, it's a habit.

The fact that they hadn't talked in years and she hadn't told you about her doesn't mean something is fishy. I have friends I love that we go through periods of not talking at all (they live far away, life gets in the way etc) and periods when we talk all the time.

I think that if everything else is ok in your relationship, a phonecall (or more) from some girl living so far away is nothing to worry about.

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How do you know he deleted calls? What proof do you have of basically calling your boyfriend a liar? Does he lie like drawing breath or something? If he does, then why have you thrown in with an habitual liar?

 

I disagree with you. No, you don't trust your boyfriend. Otherwise, you wouldn't be snooping in his phone, accusing him of deleting calls and other things you have no proof for.

 

If you're fishing this hard to make something out of nothing, then yeah, I can see why he would attempt to avoid an argument.

 

Nothing is going to happen with this chick if he's not of the mind to do anything.

 

Fact of the matter is: if he wants to cheat with her or anyone else, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it except remove yourself from close proximity to him.

 

She's not in a relationship with you: he is. The onus is on him to be forthcoming and transparent and he's been that with what is relevant for you to know.

 

You are inventing a problem and if you don't stop, you'll have what you're after in spades.

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