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Cmae1993

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Hey everyone i'm needing some advice.

I've been with my boyfriend for a year, and her lately things have been a little rocky.

We've been fighting a lot the past few days.

We are mainly fighting about Money, Him not cleaning up after himself, Facebook and Him throwing things up in my face.

 

I'll start with fighting about money we live together. We both work he works full time and I work part time the problem being I work in a day care and things are a bit slow due to it being winter there isn't as many kids coming in so there for i haven't been working. and right now he is having to pay for the bills which we only have 4. He gets mad because we don't have any money to go out and do things. and hes getting mad because he has to pay for everything and he throws it up in my face that he has to pay for everything because my job sucks. He says stuff like " well you wouldn't have internet or cable if it wasn't for me" and says stuff like " at least i have a job and make money" i'm not sure if its because hes getting aggravated or what. Because when i was working a lot and bringing money in he didn't throw everything up in my face.

 

The second thing is him not cleaning up after himself. he is a very messy person, I live in government housing which is something i'm not proud of but before i met him i was a single mom and i had no job so it was the best i could do. Anyway, i have inspections every 3 months and there for awhile i was passing them because everything was spotless but for the last two times i have failed and if i fail one more time i get kicked out and me and daughter have no where to live.

I'll clean everything and he will come home from work and make huge messes and not clean up after his self. he leaves his dirty clothes laying every where. dishes and trash in the living room and living room floor. trash on the counters in the kitchen spilled stuff on the counters, he doesn't put things back where they go. doesn't take the trash out unless i tell him and remind him 1000 times! Pee's on the toilet seat and doesn't wipe it off. leaves all the lights on. we did make a solution tonight about how we can make things cleaner. he said we could pick a day of every week and clean. and straighten up every night before we go to bed. But i don't know if he will stick with that.

 

The third and last thing is Facebook!

We both have a Facebook the problem is most people think its really stupid but its something that bothers me.

He doesn't mention me on Facebook as in statuses etc. He talks about his friends on there but he doesn't talk about me. he has no pictures of there of us or anything. we have discussed this many times and the issue still keeps coming up. he said the reason he doesn't mention me is because every girl he has dated he has put stuff on there then they break up and he has to explain to everyone what happened and he said he didn't wanna go through it anymore. he said when we got engaged and married then he would. he said that it was to much pressure because it makes him look bad because one minute he'll say something about me and the next minute we could break up. he says its like he'll put something like "oh i love my girlfriend so much" and the next minute we break up and then he says "i'm single" or something and then we get back together and it happens again. i guess that's what he means.

 

Sorry for this being so long but does anyone have any suggestions that can help us in our relationship before it's to late.?

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The Money: he's probably just stressed out having the pressure of the majority of the bills on him. Is there noway you can pick up another part time job or a couple of nights waitressing or bar work to try and help whilst things are a little slow? Money is one of those things couples will always argue about if there are problems with it. It's not an easy one to solve.

 

Him cleaning up: he sounds absoloutley filthy! I agree he should clean up after himself. However if you are working part time the majority of the cleaning and chores should fall on you in my opinion. BUT he should also adhere to basic hygeine and cleaning up after himself. If he is risking you and your daughter becoming homeless it's time to give him a real kick up the butt.

 

Facebook: Just leave Facebook out of your relationship. It causes more drama than it's worth.

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Re: the cleaning issues..I would not count on this getting any better. Your bf sounds a lot like my ex. My ex is very immature, and one sign of this is his inability to pick up after himself. I got a little tired of feeling like his mother. IMO it shows a basic inability to care about the wellbeing of your significant other, if you can't be bothered to make your living space inhabitable to make them happy. I got tired of asking for the same consideration most basic roommates show each other..yknow, if you were living with a platonic roommate, would you leave hair all over the sink? Would you expect them to throw away your trash, and do all the dishes?? I would sure hope not, but my ex is totally selfish, and I think he was like that with his male roommates, as well.

 

Don't expect it to change. If you can't live with it, go find a guy who's less selfish and knows how to pick up for himself. That's the decision I basically came to. Otherwise I was gonna get an ulcer.

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