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Random 5 year relationship break up. Need advice please!

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to begin, i want to say thank you all for taking the time to read this post and i appreciate all replies and opinions on this that everyone has to offer. i will tell you everything i know so i can get the best responses.

okay so i am 21 and she is 22. we both go to the same college and are about to graduate. so, we have been dating since early high school, she is my first love and i was hers. now that you know that i will start with my faults, about 3-2 years ago i went through a period of time where i cheated on her multiple times because i felt like i had spent my whole life with just one person and wanted to experience other people. every time we seemed to work it out and she loved me. the last time i cheated (approx. 2 years ago) i thought i had lost her for good and that shocked me into reality that she was really the best thing in my life, my best friend and true love. i was young and stupid at one time and she understood and still loved me enough to get back together and try to work things through. so i bought her a promise ring when we got back together to show my level of commitment. we always talked about getting married and she even asked for a engagement ring for christmas but she knew that could not be until i finished college. we just did not have the time or money for that. i cannot tell you enough how good she has been to me for the past 5 years. the breakup went like this: i didnt see her on the 17th,18th, and 19th of december because i had to work and she went christmas shopping for me with her girlfriends and i went christmas shopping for her the next day. so now its the 20th and i havent seen her in a few days. i come home from work and she practically lived with me at my place but went home to her parents at night because they are super strict but she had my house key. so i pick her up at my house and we ride to the store to get some stuff because i like to cook for her. immediately, i could tell something was wrong, she was being really quiet and we normally joke and she didn't want to have intercourse which is NOT her. so on the way back from getting steaks i ask her whats wrong and she tells me nothing. i know her better than that so i persist to ask and she eventually tells me that she can't get over what i did so many years ago, that she is still terrified of it happening. i try to talk to her rationally that we can work through this because we have been through much worse. she just wouldn't be rational though she broke up with me and seemed very sad about it. i took it maturely though thinking we will just get back together. she told me maybe one day we will be back together if its meant to be and that she still loves me. so i give her space like she wanted and on the 24th she texted me and told me that she still wanted to exchange christmas gifts and i agree because i had got her really nice things like an diamond infinity necklace and other thing she would love. knowing this may be my best shot at getting her back, i hung a mistletoe over the bedroom door and cleaned the house. needless to say, she didnt want to kiss but she eventually did after my persuasion. she had tears in her eyes the entire time she was at my house. regardless of how good i did on christmas she still wanted to get her things that she kept at my house. so i packed them for her and put them in her car and she left. i planned to continue giving her space but the next day one of my friends printed off her posts on social media (which i don't have) and all her tweets were really happy from the day we broke up. stuff like "a whole new life brings happiness to my heart" and she is hanging out with her girlfriends and drinking and i'm sure they are supporting her. it made me sick so i texted her and told her that if that is how she feels then don't try coming back to me. the conversation was more in depth than that but everything i tried to talk to her about she turned it around on me trying to make out as the bad person even though i had changed. so i quit messaging her and the next day i asked for my clothes and house key back. this is when she just became angry with me like i was the bad guy but really she broke up with me, which has consequences and i was giving her what she wanted by not talking to her. so on the 2nd of january i finally get my stuff back and i tell her i just don't think we need to talk at this time and she tries talking anyway but i rush the conversation to an end and she leaves. she was so angry with me there was no reason in trying to talk to her she only wanted to throw it back on me and that i was being immature. so now it has been almost a week since i've heard from her other than that and a few messages she sent after i got my stuff back of her trying to further explain the break up. i never responded to any of her messages because i am trying to give her space. now i don't know if i should try talking to her or not. she hasn't shown any concern for me on social media other than that she is happy. should i just move on? or is this some kind of mind game she is playing on me? i really do not understand it was so random. how could you go from asking for an engagement ring to bringing up something that happened years ago and ending a 5 year relationship and being so happy about it. she seemed so happy with me and i know that for a long time i was the world to her. she could not fake that for 2 years. any suggestions? what should i do? give her space? move on?

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When someone cheats on you it rips your heart out & all trust is gone.

You doing it to her " multiple times" and her taking you back astounds me.

She must have just gotten to a point where she just couldn't handle it anymore so she broke up with you.

You need to leave her alone so she can move on & hopefully you have learnt a valuable lesson about morals and how not to treat future girlfriends.

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shellyf62 is right. You cheated on her several times and she was so afraid to lose you that she took you back. But the trust was gone. She couldn't look at you the same.


Now something has happened to cause her to re-evaluate her life, and in the process she has realized her relationship with you has run it's course.


okay so i am 21 and she is 22. we both go to the same college and are about to graduate.


This is probably it. Though the catalyst may have also been meeting someone else who she could picture herself with, it's all the same in her realizing her feelings for you have changed.


Let this be a lesson to you, OP. Disappointment is the biggest killer of relationships. You let her down. It slowly tainted the love she had for you. In time she realized you are not the man she envisions spending her life with. The logic behind that is, the right man for her to build her life with has to be someone she can fully trust and has NOT hurt her the way you have.

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