beth9292 Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 Hello, I'm 21 years old and recently I started to talk with this man online I've never done this before so I had my doubts at first but now he wants to meet me. He is travelling from California to mexico where I live, this is not an online boyfriend thing per se because we havent met, we just want to know how things will go. This is nto even the problem, I know that I have to be careful adn that we should meet in a public place, the thing is my parents. Yes I still live iwht my parents because im nursing school and Im there most of the time, I cant really work, but my mother is somewhat very controlling and Im sure she will not understand. Especially because he is much older than me, but that doesnt really matter. I of course, did my own background check on him and had my friend who lives in Ca do it for me to to make sure he is legit, he is allright. I told him about my situation, abotu sneaking out to meet him and that my friend will know where I will be and stuff but he says he wants to talk to my mother. He seriously wants to talk to her and my stepdad about it, and hell no Im not ready. I mean we will be meeting for the first time its not like he is my boyfriend yet, I think its amazing that he wants to do it but Im scared of telling my mother in advance. What do you guys think I should do? I mean Im not a child anymore, but she certainly treats me like one and honestly Im just tired. Help! Link to comment
CatchersRye Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Best advice, is to work on determining if the relationship is worth having, is a healthy relationship, and that it will last. He doesn't need to speak to your parents at all. And you should NEVER be alone with him. Background checks are good, but there have been plenty of people who are abusive or mean and never get arrested. Your safety is paramount. Is he willing to move and stay in Mexico? Where do you plan to live after nursing school? Where do you plan to work? Link to comment
beth9292 Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 Best advice, is to work on determining if the relationship is worth having, is a healthy relationship, and that it will last. He doesn't need to speak to your parents at all. And you should NEVER be alone with him. Background checks are good, but there have been plenty of people who are abusive or mean and never get arrested. Your safety is paramount. Is he willing to move and stay in Mexico? Where do you plan to live after nursing school? Where do you plan to work? i dont understand why the last questions are relevant, Im not marrying this guy we just want to see how it goes. Yes he is coming to Mexico to see me, he is half mexican himself but I dont see how those questions are relevant to my question Link to comment
CatchersRye Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Well, then he really shouldn't talk to your parents if you are not considering the implications of having a relationship with this man from another country. What I believe is if you are going to engage in a relationship with anyone, you have to expect that at some point you will want to live together, if the relationship is successful. What's the point in talking to someone long distance if you are not going to consider the possibility of either of you moving? Now I agree, you are only talking to this man online and haven't met in person. But you have to at least have some idea whether he fits the bill for the kind of person you want. Link to comment
beth9292 Posted January 11, 2014 Author Share Posted January 11, 2014 Well, then he really shouldn't talk to your parents if you are not considering the implications of having a relationship with this man from another country. What I believe is if you are going to engage in a relationship with anyone, you have to expect that at some point you will want to live together, if the relationship is successful. What's the point in talking to someone long distance if you are not going to consider the possibility of either of you moving? Now I agree, you are only talking to this man online and haven't met in person. But you have to at least have some idea whether he fits the bill for the kind of person you want. I want to see if the chemistry is there first tho, but because I live with my parents and I dont use the phone that much and now I am, I just hate that they will bombard me with questions and stuff and Im not a good liar at all. Well i dont really think about that when Im in a relationship because its way too soon to know I dont worry aobut those things way too early, I just take things as they go. Im not saying its not a possibility, and of course if that happens he will not move here i will because im an american citizen aswell i was planning to go back after nursing school anyways. And he definitely fits the bill in every way, Im must waiting for the time we meet, which will be next month, to see if we have that connection. My parents are the problem here, sneaking out to meet him, we have to skype really late so they dont notice and I honestly hate it. He wanted to talk to my parents so I wouldnt feel Im lying to them. Link to comment
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