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Shy or just not that into me?


Peanutbear3

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Need some advice please.

 

I met a guy just before Xmas. It was through mutual friends, second time meeting him, but I hadn't been interested first time. We hung out the whole night, he was kind of awkward and shy about getting my number, but eventually did and even (albeit awkwardly) went for a kiss - this was after we had had a fair few drinks. So he texted the next day to meet and we met and had food and drinks.

 

We then met during the week again. He had already told me he was shy. He also said he liked to get to know girls first etc... Anyway, I had had a few drinks and was confused, I couldn't tell if he liked me and it was getting frustrating. So I basically asked him was he interested, he said yes or else he wouldn't be there. I told him how did he expect a girl to know a guy was interested if he didn't touch her/hold her hand/kiss her. He agreed and I guess it was a bit awkward for a while. But, he wanted to stay for more drinks.

 

Anyway, I decided just to forget about it. He then put his hand lightly on my leg. I was chatting about a holiday and was getting excited about a topic, really into the conversation, when suddenly, mid-conversation he kissed me. It was nice. We stayed until 1am, then it was a but awkward leaving...he was like ' Life goes on after Xmas, and he'd see me then.' He texted to make sure I got home OK.

 

The next day I was embarrassed that I had been so forward as I am not normally like that, I'm normally the shy, insecure one. So I texted that evening to apologise for any awkwardness. He replied, saying it was probably his fault and that he had enjoyed the night. We texted a little and said we'd meet after he came back from his folks for Xmas. That was 21st December.

 

I didn't expect to hear from him over Xmas, but was a bit upset when a week later still nothing. So I texted. he replied and we texted a bit, eventually, I was like just do it and asked would he still like to meet again. He said yes and we's arrange something when he was back in the new year.

 

Anyway, that was a week ago. I don't think he is back yet, but have no way of knowing. I don't think I should initiate contact again. But, I am left confused. I thought he liked me. Why text and say he wanted to meet if he didn't, and why be flirty in texts if he was just trying to be nice and let me down gently? Am I fooling myself that he likes me? Should I just forget him and move on?

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I think you kind of backed him into a corner in a way. You basically had to push for the kiss and now you're kind of saying "why kiss me if you're not interested?"

It seems he was shy and awkward from the beginning and it's up to you to keep things moving forward at a snails pace. If that doesn't suit you then you're probably not all that interested in him anywuas, right?? I would think that was a drag.

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Sometimes, shy people have a hard time getting the ball rolling. You will probably need to be the one to initiate the next conversation with him, but don't take it offensively. He likes you, but he's modest and probably doesn't want to rush into a relationship too fast. Once this "awkward" phase of getting to know each other passes, I'm sure he will start being more forward and open.

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I didn't expect to hear from him over Xmas, but was a bit upset when a week later still nothing.

 

Should I just forget him and move on?

 

I have to agree with what another posted said, its moving really slowly and it seems as though this guy is just shy. Welcome to the world of men, we basically have to do all the arranging and ask girls out on dates all the time. I don't even give out my number anymore because i found that even if a girl liked me, she would be too shy to call.

 

While i admit its annoying and you would be better suited with someone who was more aggressive and socially available, being with a shy person has some really big advantages. You would probably never worry if this guy would cheat on you with other women because he would be too shy to approach them, lol.

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It seems like he likes you but he's very shy. The 'problem' with shy guys is that the girl has to do most of the work, at least initially. That's fine for a girl who is naturally confident and a bit aggressive. But if she is insecure or traditional (in the sense that she prefers the man to make the first move), even if she pushes herself to act 'aggressively' for a while, she will eventually get tired with it and start wondering 'if he was really into me, wouldn't he do SOMETHING?'. I know because I am a bit traditional and that's why I try to avoid shy men...because I've been there in the past and it wasn't pleasant...after the first dates, I started getting irritated at his lack of initiative and feeling confused and insecure...and finally we broke up and it was bad.

To sum up, if you're sure that you can handle being with a guy like that, go ahead and call/text him...but, remember, that for a while, you'll have to do all the calling, planning, initiating..especially in the physical aspect of things...if you're ok with this, why not?

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