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emailing EX 3 weeks post BU


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So basically he broke off our engagement and we wanted to remain friends. Things started to fall apart both of our faults, I wanted to work on it, he was ready to give up.

It'll be three weeks tomorrow and I find that he is becoming more and more cold with his text messages, super jealous where I am? Who I was with?

 

I'm still crushed but I'm getting along fine and haven't been contacting him unless he initiates it then I'd text him back being super nice.

 

Ever since the whole break up process I have been nice and haven't been telling him how I really felt. being strong and confident hoping he'd come back to me and reconsider

 

Is it too late to send him a long email that I wrote that explains everything and how I really feel- I hate to rehash the subject but I still have a lot on my mind

 

At the end of the email I have decided to ask him to reconsider and work on it or asking him to stop contacting me while I heal

 

IS this a good idea ? should i re-open the can of worms ?

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What was his reasoning for breaking off the engagement? And I'm sorry, but I don't think you can be friends so close to the breakup. It is none of his business what you were doing and who you were out with. He gave up the right to know when he broke it off.

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You can read my other post in marriage/long term relationships - it explains everything. But basically the whole engagement was a disaster, I pressured him to propose because of the possibility of re-locating for work. He started spending more time with his friends and then started saying we weren't going to work, we've grown apart, we are different people.

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So basically he broke off our engagement and we wanted to remain friends. Things started to fall apart both of our faults, I wanted to work on it, he was ready to give up.

It'll be three weeks tomorrow and I find that he is becoming more and more cold with his text messages, super jealous where I am? Who I was with?

 

You need to shut that mess down. He no longer is owed an answer to who you were with or where you were. Only a man who is in your life as a committed partner gets that information and he walked away from that. He forfeits any further information.

 

I'm still crushed but I'm getting along fine and haven't been contacting him unless he initiates it then I'd text him back being super nice.

 

block him.

 

Unless he's showing up and saying "Marla, I am so sorry. Please forgive me for leaving you. I made a huge mistake. Please take me back. Please give me another chance...", then he doesn't have anything to say to you that warrants friendship. Giving him access is you halting your healing progress. He's using you to make himself feel better for dumping you. If you allow him to do this, then misery will be close on your heels.

 

Ever since the whole break up process I have been nice and haven't been telling him how I really felt. being strong and confident hoping he'd come back to me and reconsider

 

Is it too late to send him a long email that I wrote that explains everything and how I really feel- I hate to rehash the subject but I still have a lot on my mind

 

At the end of the email I have decided to ask him to reconsider and work on it or asking him to stop contacting me while I heal

 

IS this a good idea ? should i re-open the can of worms ?

 

This ball isn't in your court. He already knows how you feel. Like I said above, unless he's doing what I pointed out, then all you are doing is setting yourself up for more hurt and to delay your healing process.

 

He must atone and he must declare for you and pledge to do whatever it takes to make it up to you. He was engaged to you---that's pretty drastic to dump someone you asked to marry you instead of trying to work things out.

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ah, i see. it doesn't sound like you guys are a very good match, so it is probably for the best that the engagement is off. I wouldn't call or email. i'd just try to move on, go no contact. there's no reason you can't meet a better man for you.

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You can read my other post in marriage/long term relationships - it explains everything. But basically the whole engagement was a disaster, I pressured him to propose because of the possibility of re-locating for work. He started spending more time with his friends and then started saying we weren't going to work, we've grown apart, we are different people.

 

well, that certainly didn't help matters.

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