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Is getting back together really does happen


nohopeatall

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I broke up with my ex for a year and officially divorced for 3 months now. We were together for 4 years and he was the dumper. The last trigger for us to separate is the location. I was in USA but now am in my home country Hong Kong. We had lots of argument because of me keep complaining about sacrifice everything for him to stay in usa. That caused lots of stress in our life. We loved each other dearly, but we had huge communication problem as well.

 

I haven't talked to him in 3 months and few days ago I emailed him and basically wish him happy new year and said thank you for all the memory. He didn't reply and I couldn't hold myself but call him today and he didn't pick up but reply me by email basically saying back happy new year and update a little bit about his new life in USA. I still miss him alot after all the things we went through. I still feel sad sometimes when thinking about before. I know it's been a year and I should move on. I did everything I could to move on as well. I know it's the best for now since what's done has done and it's the best for us to live in separated locations.

 

I know i should wish him happy and find the life he really wants, but deep inside my heart, i still have that little silver lining hoping that one day we could get back together.

 

Is getting back together really happen at all? I truly doubt it. I am moving forward on my life, but I know deep down I still miss him and truly still love him.

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I personally do not believe in reconcialiations but I have seen 1 or 2 happening so you can never know. Life is more random that we can ever imagine.

 

Do not get your hopes up, live your life as if you will not get back with him and whatever the outcome, deal with it.

What is meant to be will always find its way.

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trying so hard to move on, should not have broken NC for 3 months. Trying so hard to let him go with love and wish him happy even without me. However, deep down sometimes kill by our memory. Miss him so much everyday even after 1 year. WTH is that happening...it's been a year and I still cry sometimes

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I tried every way to move on. I know I should not blame myself or him and I tried every way to communicate. I didn't get my hope up since I already give up moving back to USA. He's there and I am in Asia so we won't see each other as well. Just deep inside my heart, I always feel that we have lots of misunderstanding but no matter what I said now, i know it won't be listened by him. I guess that give me hard pill to swallow.

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Sometimes and most of time, it isn't the person that we miss but the memories. We are haunted by the memories. In order for to us to heal is to remove those memories (at least for now while we heal). My ex recently broke up with me and we were together for 2 years. We had plan to get engaged and marriage. We even shopped for the rings together. And this was just few months ago. Sometimes, when I see or hear commercial on tv or get an random e mails from jewls company I get this weird sad feeling. Now, is reconciliation possible? yes and no. It is possible but there isn't a guarantee. Hope isn't all lost either. Before I met now EX. I was engaged to someone else for 7 years. Due to long distance and living in a different states for 4 years out of the 7 years. It was taking a toll on me. I just didn't know what I was doing. Him moving out to my area was getting less hopeful (with housing market, house not getting sold etc). I had to make a hardest decision by letting us go. It wasn't because we fell out love or anything but I just couldn't do it anymore. Then, soon after I met my now EX. During my new 2 years relationship. My ex fiancée never have contacted me. I always wondered and worried how he is doing and numerous times I just wanted to pick up the phone and ask how he is. But deep in my heart and if I really care for the person. The best thing I can do for him at that moment is not contact him and by that, I would be helping him to move on. I do not know if it was a faith or just pure coincidence. But, just a day after my current break up. Ex fiancée that never contacted me contacted me. I had the chills when that happened. He has been trying to relocate to my area from his company. He was up in my area for training and that things are looking up. He may get the job out here. And, we have been talking since. I did visit him during my one week leave and I felt like I have taken a time machine and went back 2 years. Everything was same as how I left it. He have had couple of relationships but it didn't worked out. I asked him why he have never contacted me and he says, it was very hard for him but he understood why it had to end and he wanted to respect my wish. He have moved on and he doesn't hold any grudges and that he never stopped loving me. There were no promises no future that he would ever see me again but his love for me never stopped or faded. We are not back together. I have told him that I rather not to change anything yet. Not until he is physically out here then we can try to date again and see where it goes. Meantime, I asked him not to hold off on anything. Go on dates, meet other people and take one day at a time. And, when we both are in the same area. We take it from there. Memories of my current EX still haunts me time to time. Part of me have the false hope if we can reconcile. But, from my ex fiancée and what I did for him for him to move on back then. Is what my current ex is doing. And, I did that to my ex fiancée in solid that that the relationship was done for good. So, there you go. I let go the current EX knowing he is solid on breaking up and no possible reconciliation. I have done what my current EX is doing to my EX fiancée. Not changing decision once it was made. Reconciliation does happen because I am talking again with my ex fiancée and although he is cautious and not wanting to get hurt again, which is understandable. Cautiously and carefully ex fiancée have expressed his feelings of reconciliation once he is out here. By that time, the memories of current EX will fade/gone and that I can handle what to come clearly and with right set of mind with my ex fiancée. Even now or soon after my current break up. I hadn't missed "him". I have missed the memories. I can even hardly picture his face in my head and it's only been 3 weeks.

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Thank you for your reply. It's very inspiring. I think you are right. What's going to happen will happen and before that, i just need to live my life as if it will never happen again. At least now you and th ex fiance are in the talking term. I guess it might be a good start.

 

In fact, last year after i have separated from my now ex husband, I got reconnected with my ex boy friend. He cheated on me and so we ended five years ago. We did try to reconcile but I could not trust him again. Though now we are not together, he's one of my closest friend and i believe he will always in my life for now. Can't even imagine I would be talking to him five years ago. That's life.

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