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Do I really have to play the dating games?


Amp33

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Waiting in between dates, don't text this much, so on.. I feel like if I want to talk to them or see them then I should make that effort.. That being said I know some rules make a difference sometimes. So I thought I would ask for opinions..

 

I met a guy online, and we had a date a week ago. We hit it off really well. Though I know it makes me sound easy and may possibly ruin things, we slept together the first date. He was a gentleman and told me there is no pressure, and asked my permission before he tried anything. We spent the morning together looking at his baby photos and joking around, later he had to run some errands and asked me to come along. He dropped me off at home and kissed me goodbye several times. Almost a week later I asked him to a movie, and again we ended up back at his place. I love talking with him and being close to him.. He dropped me off the next morning and again kissed me several times goodbye.

 

Now the thing is, we both start up work this coming up week from our holiday break. And I want to see him one last time before we both get caught up in work again.. Is that too much seeing as how it's only been two days? I feel like I have a little school girl crush and I just don't want to wait to see him again, that's where my hatred of the "games" come in.. Will it scare him off if I ask to see him again so soon?

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It's not about games -it's about letting someone get to know you over a period of time rather than overwhelming them with too much too soon. Not everyone will feel overwhelmed of course but it's thoughtful to assume that someone needs a reasonable amount of time and space to get to know you reasonably -like unwrapping a package. At this point since you chose to have sex the first time you met him and asked him out for the first real date why not give him a chance to initiate a date -not because it's a game because it gives him a chance to have the ball in his court? And you didn't end up back at his place -you chose to have sex with him on the first real date - make sure you don't see this as things "happening" as opposed to you choosing. Nothing wrong with casual sex at all -just make sure you are aware that you're choosing to approach getting to know him in this way.

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imho, games and rules are for kids. as a grown up, I do whatever I want, and if that is wrong and screws up the relationship, so be it. because no one lasts 6 months or 6 years pretending not to be too interested or waiting two hours to answer a 140 characters message.

 

that said, if he's interested, you'll know by the fact that he reaches out when you don't.

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If you are interested in seeing if this could be a relationship, I think you should give it air and let him do some reaching to you now.

 

Otherwise, it's just about going after the sex and comfort of him, and you run the risk of falling into a monologue here. Where you aren't listening or giving him a chance to show you much of anything.

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I don't even know where to start with this. It is such a mess.

 

Sleeping with some stranger on a mess first and second date is not liberating ... it is not avoiding games .... it is spur of the moment sexual impulse. And frankly it is not the best common sense.

 

Who knows how he sees you now or what will develop from this. But you should know what that at this point any attempt at a game of am sort is probably a waste of your time.

 

There is no getting to know you and no real mystery. It seems more like a budding fwb situation to me.

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Depends... I am usually flattered with women who want to see me all the time. I dont register needy and clingy unless she seems immature or she lacks experience. My ex of 3 years wanted to see me right away, most women make it super obvious that they love spending time with me and cant wait for the next day. Also, i dont know where his head is at (as he might not share my thought process), but i rarely have a woman go pass the 3rd date without sex, and the waiting for the first, second or third date for sex doesnt matter - i know where there is sexual attraction, holding off is just her principle, just like my principle is that women who play games get the boot.

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