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So i posted about my problem with this long distance relationship before, and after reading the replies I decided to be honest with him.

 

I told him that I don't want him to wait for me so long all by himself and that if he meets someone he wants to date he can go ahead. Somehow he started having this idea that I wanna date other people and I said yeah but so that the waiting becomes bearable. I think I screwed it, I do wanna date other people but nothing serious, just kisses and hugs , that would be all. I don't see why that would be so serious, after all we're not gonna see each other in 6 months or maybe more. He can totally do it too of he wants.

 

He's 34 and I'm 24, maybe he's looking for something extra serious and I could totally be that girl if he was here but now I feel like I need a bit of fooling around, Still, I love him sooooo much, I think about him all the time, I absolutely adore all about him, his dog, his house, his stories, his laugh, everything, and I don't think I'll ever find a man as sweet and amazing as him He says that maybe we should forget about this whole thing. I don't know what to do. I just know I'll never forgive myself if I lose him.

 

Help please

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okay well it seems like you guys are on a different page for what okay boundaries are, he's making it crystal clear to you that if you fool around with another guy it's going to make him feel devalued. Maybe you feel like he should trust that you're going to love him no matter what happens between you and other guys? If that's the case then you need to rethink what he wants versus what you want. If the relationship really does mean a lot to you then you can wait 6 months until you see each other again you have to be willing to sacrifice for him if he's that important. A good example i have for you is that my brother and his now wife lived accross the country from each other (Arizona to Wisconsin) for 3 years and couldn't see each other for months on end because of the distance. But they found ways to make it feel like they were in the same room together even though they were thousands of miles apart to just show that they really did appreciate what they meant to each other. I can go into more detail if you'd like but i think you really need to respect his boundaries...

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OP: It does sound like you both want different things right now. I could be wrong here, but it sounds like he's looking for one person to commit to, and you're just looking to have fun. You either want to commit to each other or you don't. But to want to fool around with other people, while he wants to commit to only one person, and still hope that you can hold on to him is unrealistic. If you choose to be with other people, yes, you could lose him. You can't control how he decides to respond to what you want; totally out of your hands.

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Hey Thanks Toby4, I can see where you would get that from. We used to be like that in the beginning, we used to talk for hours and hours but then he had to get back at work and now we barely skype once a week. He's literally on the other side of the world, he wakes up when I'm going to bed, we both have jobs and I also have uni so communication is not that good now I miss him so much and I cherish every minute we do get to talk to each other.

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milli007: He's been gone for 4 months now and we'll see each other again in july, thats like 11 months not seeing each other. If someone can assure me that in all that time he's not gonna even think about other girls then I'll be ok with a traditional relationship , but I know he must be thinking about it and I am too. Nothing serious really. And I want to be honest about, I dont want to hide anything from him. I'd hate it if he feels like I don't appreciate him enough to wait, but that's not the thing, I'm just suggesting we can have a bit of distraction.

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