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Am I right to feel offended even though I'm not interested at all?


RuedeRivoli

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So I met this guy online and after 3 messages we went for drinks last night. As soon as I saw him, I knew I didn't want to get to know him any further. I just wasn't interested right off the bat. I went through the motions but we both knew it wasn't a match. However, at the end of the date I was like "It was nice meeting you, take care, bye". He didn't even respond to the "it was nice meeting you" - Fine, I was just trying to be polite anyway. Probably one of the worst dates I've been on.

 

Anyway, today I checked my account and it turns out he deleted his. I understand he was not interested and it was clear I wasn't either, but why would he delete his entire account? I was the first person he met from the website. Hence, I feel slightly offended that he deleted his account after one bad date.

 

I met plenty of guys who didn't delete their accounts, this one is being dramatic. It's never happened to me before. I didn't like him anyway, so it's not big deal, but still ...

 

Am I right to feel offended?

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Maybe he decided he didn't want to do online dating? I went on one date with a guy from the web, we didn't click at all but he was perfectly nice, and after that I decided I just didn't want to be on match. But it wasn't that the guy was unspeakably awful at all!

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I had to laugh at this... you didn't even like the guy, said it was the worst date ever, but you're checking up on him later and are mad he didn't really like the date either? Really, this is about your ego and you just need to let it go. You already acknowledged it was a horrible date, and you have no clue what his motivation was... maybe he'd dated several women, and when you didn't click, he decided he'd focus on a different one. Or he decided online dating wasn't for him. Or he decided he'd rather be on another dating site. Or he decided he wasn't over his ex and needed to stop dating for a while to heal.

 

Everything is not about you! So just recognize that and let this go. He owes you absolutely nothing after one (bad) date, so being upset about this is almost comical and you should see it that way, as in, an ego check and a lesson in not taking any early dates too seriously. Who cares what some guy you didn't even like does wiht his account on a dating site? He's not being dramatic, you are... what he chooses to do online is his business... and on to the next guy who might be a better match!

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Hum? Where did I use the word "upset"? I never used this word. I said slightly "offended" because yes, my ego got blown a little. I'm not saying I'm upset or hurt. C'mon.

 

I'm in no way upset, but just curious. That's all. I just wanted to know if it's common or not when it comes to online dating because I haven't met a lot of guys online. It's more about online dating itself and not really about the guy.

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Naw, I don't think you should be offended. I don't really see how it would help you to be.

 

Better, IMO, to slough it off as "I don't know exactly why he did it, and it's not really my business anyways". More than likely, it has very little if anything at all to do with you. He might just be frustrated; online dating can be hard. Maybe he decided he isn't ready for it just yet.

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I think you're over-internalizing this. I suspect it's like what sophie said, he realized he's not ready for online dating at this time. Or perhaps he is married or in a relationship, and then he decided against cheating. I think it has very little to do with you. If it were you, he would have just blocked you, and kept his account open. Thus, do not be offended.

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I wouldn't say you were not interested or else you wouldn't go out on a date with him. So immediately you saw him you lost interest, my take is his looks weren't up to par. So you have no plans on going on another date with the guy why does it matter to you what he does with his profile? Maybe he realize after going on one online date it wasn't his cup of tea or he's not ready to date? You're making this all about you which it shouldn't.

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It happened to me in the past. I saw him back online some months later and he told me that he just wasnt ready and was still getting over someone else. I guess its a similar thing so dont take it so personally, its just the state of his own mind and where he is in his own life and has nothing to do with you.

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Yeah actually, I lost interest as soon as I saw him. I was thinking of someone else during the entire date, that's how bad it was.

 

It probably has nothing to do with me, you guys are right. I too realized I was not ready to date and was on the verge of deleting my account last night, so I suppose his reasons have nothing to do with this date.

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Nah- dont be offended. You dont know his reasoning for what he's done. doesnt matter anyways- right?

Who knows? he may have numerous accounts. Some do.

 

He may also have another one made up for that site as well. Either way- it's done for you both. Move on.

 

tc

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Maybe he has personal issues and since it was a bad date it made him rethink a few things. I deleted my account the other day because I just figured that since I wasn't having a lot of progress then maybe I should focus on different areas of my life right now. Everyone is fighting their own battle, you shouldn't be offended.

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