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Is it acceptable to date others while seeing someone?


losty83

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Hi guys, as the title indicates, is it

acceptable to still date others knowing

you are seeing or dating someone?

 

i've Only known this girl for 2 weeks! And we

slept together on the first date by the way.

 

 

Now, i have been talking to this other girl

over online dating site and we agreed to meet

this weekend.

 

Is this acceptable? I am not in a committed

relationship with the first girl though.

We havent even have any serious talk about

relationships. We are still getting to know

each other. But we have sex and slept together

more than once in 1 week! the fact that we've

only known each other for 2 weeks, is kinda

scary for me.

 

Any thoughts?

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I think the general consensus is that until you've had the "are we exclusive?" talk, you - and the other person - are free to do what you please.

 

In fact, I'm in a similar situation. I met two girls at the same time about 3 weeks ago. One I like a lot and we're having our 3rd date tomorrow, but we haven't even kissed yet. The other girl I also like, but don't really see much longterm potential, yet we had sex on our 3rd date.

 

It's a sticky situation for both you and me! Sooner or later, the subject will come up and we'll both have to be honest about it.

 

For now, luckily, you're safe IMO.

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I know this sounds weird, but I think you should ask the girl you are sleeping with... hear me out...

 

If you throw her the hypothetical and she agrees that it's too soon to be exclusive and that you are just getting to know each other, then you are "in the clear" if she ever finds out.

 

If you throw her the hypothetical and she gets all upset saying that she feels you are exclusive, etc. - isn't she moving at a break-neck speed that you aren't ok with? Maybe it's good to know that too...

 

Normally (without sex), I'd say you were in the clear without the exclusive talk... but... I think it's more common for people to start making assumptions when sex is involved.

 

I dunno... I like clarity... I'd ask the question...

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Wrong or not, I would presume someone dating me regularly and having sex was determining if we were a good fit without making a comparative analysis, and would very much appreciate the information that you were dating/sleeping with others so that I could make a more informed choice...which for me would be to bow out.

Committed and seeing a future together-sure, it's too soon to tell. But if you can't evaluate one girl at a time I would not feel we were a good match.

The exclusive talk is an excuse. If you were interested in girl #1 you wouldn't be making time for girl #2. If I were girl #1 I'd appreciate knowing you weren't that interested early on and not putting the onus on me to have "the talk".

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^I agree that it is nice to know where the other stands. It prevents so much potential for hurt feelings, or assumptions being made. And it goes two ways. Sometimes it's striking when it is brought up, because any assumptions you may be making about the person can turn out to be false.

 

I don't think it is unacceptable to date others when you are still single and dating (even if it involves sex).

 

But i think it is a nice thing to do, to be open with what you are doing. Make it clear from the start what you are about.

 

With the girl you have been sleeping with, don't be afraid . Cause if you can share a bed with her, you should be able to talk with her, right?! Better to find out now, IMO, what she is looking for.

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It is very tacky to start dating someone new while you are sleeping with another person. If you were not, I would say go for it, but now that you have slept with the first girl, I think you need to be open and honest with girl #2, and you also need to be honest with girl #1 and talk about whether you want to continue to date and make sure she doesn't think you guys are exclusive., It is pretty low to sleep with a girl and then tell her "i am not looking for anything", though.

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Hi guys, as the title indicates, is it

acceptable to still date others knowing

you are seeing or dating someone?

 

Depends on who you ask I guess. Not acceptable in my books because sex is involved in this case. If sex is involved, the honorable thing would be to disclose your lack of exclusivity to that person. Having sex with multiple people without having informed these people about the lack of exclusivity is the action of a person of low quality, unless we are talking about one night stands. At the very least you are jeopardizing their health as there are STDs that you can catch even if you are using condom. You also risk hurting someone as most women tend to get emotionally involved with the person they are having sex. Personally I live by the 'do not do unto others what you would not wish to be done to you' rule and I think that most people -you included- would not appreciate being put in the position you are about to put these girls.

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as much as i dont like to admit it, i think when you are dating and no 'exclusive' talk has happened, then its ok date and see others. Also i think telling them that you are seeing both of them is a courtesy and a volunteer... you dont have to BUT it's a gentleman thing to do to be honest about your current dating status.

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If you hadn't had sex with the first girl, my answer would be different. I'd say since you've had no exclusivity talk, you're a free agent and under no obligation to talk to either one about your dating habits. But you did have sex and it's not like it was some random girl you met once and probably won't see again.

What I would do is talk to the first girl and let her know that sex doesn't mean you're in a relationship and that you're both still free to date around. It would be nice if you had talked about it before you had sex but it's not too late.

As for the second girl, I think it's too soon to talk to her about your sex life. If the date goes well and you meet again and you see that you both want to continue dating (and you're still dating/sleeping with the first girl, too), then you should tell her that you're dating/sleeping with someone else, too.

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What your doing is wrong IMO. Your treating girl 1 like a FWB without letting her know that's all it is to you. I hate men who do this. Its having your cake and eating it too. If I found out someone I am sleeping with went on a date with someone else-there would be hell to pay.

 

The exclusivity talk is just an excuse to use people IMO. You should have more respect for this girl and more respect for yourself. Why not actually get to know someone first and decide whether you want her as a gf BEFORE sleeping with her?

 

Does nobody have any morals anymore?

 

And she has a right to know shes at risk of STD's by sleeping with you if your willing to sleep with others too.

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I have to say I found this thread discouraging in the topic. I dated someone who led me to believe he wasn't seeing anyone else when he in fact was. I felt really insulted and like a game piece in his "all about me" game I didn't know I was playing. I would like to make responsible and informed choices about my body and who I spend my time with. I am not someone to take uncalculated risks with my health/stds and am not compatible with someone who does. The fact that this person thought I was on a "need to know basis" AND that I "didn't need to know" (whatever excuse he had is irrelevant but in this case it was the "exclusive" BS) is incredibly selfish and lacking in respect and integrity. If you want to sleep around, that's a choice you can make. Allow me to make the same choice. The relationship with girl #1 has no chance of developing anyhow since you don't consider her an equal.

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I would not want to waste hours of my life meeting you, if I was girl #2. Basically she is meeting a guy who is dating someone and having sex with that someone, which to me is a cheater. That's gross and majorly disrespectful for both girls.

It's true, girl #1 should not have had sex with you on the first date, so in a way she shouldn't be too surprised that you're still looking to date others and treating her like a f**k buddy. But girl #2 hasn't done anything to deserve this. At least if you choose to meet her, let her know you're sleeping with someone else, and wait at least 3 months after the last time you have sex with the first girl to get tested, before you have sex with the second one or someone else.

 

No wonder STDs are spreading faster than fire

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It is very tacky to start dating someone new while you are sleeping with another person. If you were not, I would say go for it, but now that you have slept with the first girl, I think you need to be open and honest with girl #2, and you also need to be honest with girl #1 and talk about whether you want to continue to date and make sure she doesn't think you guys are exclusive., It is pretty low to sleep with a girl and then tell her "i am not looking for anything", though.

 

I agree. It's not against the 'rules' but it's risky in terms of sexual health. Err on the side of communication. Tell the first girl you are still dating and potentially sleeping with others. Find out if she is doing the same.

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I think the general consensus is that until you've had the "are we exclusive?" talk, you - and the other person - are free to do what you please.

 

In fact, I'm in a similar situation. I met two girls at the same time about 3 weeks ago. One I like a lot and we're having our 3rd date tomorrow, but we haven't even kissed yet. The other girl I also like, but don't really see much longterm potential, yet we had sex on our 3rd date.

 

It's a sticky situation for both you and me! Sooner or later, the subject will come up and we'll both have to be honest about it.

 

For now, luckily, you're safe IMO.

 

I think the answer to the situation above is posted below.

 

If you hadn't had sex with the first girl, my answer would be different. I'd say since you've had no exclusivity talk, you're a free agent and under no obligation to talk to either one about your dating habits. But you did have sex and it's not like it was some random girl you met once and probably won't see again.

What I would do is talk to the first girl and let her know that sex doesn't mean you're in a relationship and that you're both still free to date around. It would be nice if you had talked about it before you had sex but it's not too late.

As for the second girl, I think it's too soon to talk to her about your sex life. If the date goes well and you meet again and you see that you both want to continue dating (and you're still dating/sleeping with the first girl, too), then you should tell her that you're dating/sleeping with someone else, too.

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To each their own, but I think it's common sense not to date others while being intimate with someone. This also begs the question, is it possible to date and not sleep together, or is this a thing of the past?

 

Just my opinion...

 

When I read the OP's post, I thought he isn't even dating the girl he is sleeping with. They are just sleeping together really.

 

Is it possible to date and not be sleeping around at the same time too, is more what it is about IMO. And yes, it is ! But it seems more popular now for people to compartmentalize sex and relationships.

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My personal rule; if i sleep with her, i keep her. Unless all she offers is sex.

 

But, if there is no talk about commitment, then its all fair. I think my biggest mistakes in life is making certain women my gfs because i slept with them, instead of continuing in the field and seeing what else was out there before i popped the exclusive talk.

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