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I broke up with her, 7 months later i still love her


confused267

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To cut a very long story short, we'd been together for 7 years and had met when we were 18. We lived in a great flat, both had good jobs, friends, family etc.

 

We were planning on buying a flat and travelling the world. It was exciting, but scary. However, we were really bad at talking to one another. We had never had a proper conversation about the future, marriage, kids etc. I was having a bit of a tough time with low self-esteem, questioning friendships etc. I started to think that it could be my girlfriend who inadvertently stopped be being fully accepted by the group, or she wasn't being fully accepted by the group. In truth, most of this was only in my mind.

 

We got to a point where we had started looking at houses and it was getting to crunch time. I was scared of the future, scared of making such a big commitment having really never known a relationship with anyone else. I wasn't sure where she was the one i wanted to marry. Adding all these issues together, i didn't think it was fair to continue with the relationship. I broke it off in June 2013. It was hell on earth.

 

7 months later.

 

We're living in different places, still in the same city. We have mutual friends. Our parents still live within 15 minutes of one another. Our lives over 7 years were completely intertwined and its impossible to escape. More importantly, i don't want to let go of all these things.

 

I think about her every second of every day. Miss her like hell. We've spoken a few times, seen each other a few times. It's always awesome to see her, but so hard to say goodbye and not move forward. I have such strong feelings and urges when we meet but i've been restrained because i don't want to make matters worse if it's not the right thing. Christmas and New year were awful and all i wanted to do was to see her. She stopped replying to texts and phone calls and i haven't heard from her in weeks.

 

I've finally decided that i can't live like this and i won't be miserable any longer. All the things i want to do, i want to do with her. I want my life back and i can't imagine it being with anyone else. I've hurt her so much and made her life hell over the last 7 months that i don't want to screw things up any more. It may be too little too late. I'm just lost and don't know what to do. I really want to try and sort it out and get back together, but i'm scared of commitment, indecisive and stubborn.

 

It's so difficult. Any advice greatly appreciated.

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If you truly miss her and you want to try to rekindle things, then contact her.

 

Sitting around and wondering what might have been isn't going to get you your desired result.

 

She may have lost interest or be very involved with someone else, but it never hurts to try.

 

Hopefully, the reasons you left weren't deal-breakers and you will just go through the same cycle over and over again.

 

Hugs, Rose

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Why are you scared of commitment? That in my eyes is a big issue, relationships are all about commitment. You need to work on what it is you really do want and take the steps to concur your fears. Are you truly missing her or just what you had together?

 

Think long and hard about it before you make any attempt to reach out. It's all very well saying you feel you want her back but this fear of commitment could very well surface again in the future.

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Often when couples break up- it happens for a reason(s). Before you look at trying to get her back, are ANY of those past problems resolved yet?

 

If you were so 'unsure' about the future, etc. Has that changed now? OR are you just 'sad' of your loss?

I think what happened to end this the first time.. may end up happening again, if things haven't been dealt with or straightened around yet.

 

Yes, it's been 7 months now, but in regards to your low self-esteem issues etc, have you started dealing with that yet?

We're just cautioning you about the big possibility of many of these issues that can still be lying in your road to success here... please think things over.

 

and if you wish, maybe see about at least contacting her and 'discussing' the fact you'd like to possibly try again in the future as you will be working on these issues involved...

 

Good luck..tc

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