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feeling confused and hurt


kathy679

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My boyfriend said about 3 weeks ago now that he wanted some 'time out' because his not coping with life at the moment. I told him that he either wants to be with me 100% or he leaves me alone. He ignored me for 2 weeks then he contacted me 4 days ago and asked me if I fancied popping up to watch DVDs together. I declined his offer of watching DVDs because he said his still not in a good place to want to be with me...he said he needs more time. One minute his saying he doesn't no wot he wants and the next he says his just in a bad place n needs more time.. I'm really confused...I haven't contacted him, he only contacts me. I'm not sure if his really going through a bad time, or his just stringing me along? His always out with his mates though so it must just be me his avoiding. I'm acting like I'm single, I.e I'm trying to get over him, I don't contact him. Its so hard, and his given me no closure because I don't no why, if we r over, what the reasons are

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I told him it was over when he said his having time out. He was the one asking me up to watch DVDs the other night. His out having fun all the time, he doesn't seem to be bothered, he says his going through a bad time but his always out having fun....yet I'm just in bits. I don't get it.

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Even although I've ended it, I'm not getting any closure because he is out having fun, and I. Still don't understand what's just happened to our relationship..... I wood go out myself n have fun, but I don't really feel too good at the moment, tearful and sad

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Even although I've ended it, I'm not getting any closure because he is out having fun, and I. Still don't understand what's just happened to our relationship..... I wood go out myself n have fun, but I don't really feel too good at the moment, tearful and sad

 

of course he's out having fun---you told him either he's in 100% or you're out, so in his mind, you're out and he's out having his fun.

 

FWIW, I agree with you that he's either in 100% or he's out. There's no such thing as "taking a break".

 

What happened was that he wanted his freedom and didn't have the stones to just tell you to bounce. He wants to call you up and have you come over for some convenient, easy-to-get sex because he knows you'll do it.

 

I agree with SpottiOtti---YOU need to own your voice and put a stop to this. YOU need to tell him to stop calling you and YOU need to block him. Unless he's calling to say to you "Kathy, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I don't want to be broken up from you. I want you in my life and I want to be in your life. Please give me another chance", all you are doing is making it easier for him to move on because you're allowing him access to your intimacy and he doesn't get that perk if he's not your man. You will never sex him back into a relationship. Being his friend is keeping you tearful and sad, not him. He's out having fun.

 

YOU have to stand sentry to your boundaries and protect your own heart. If you dont' do it, no one else will--certainly not him.

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I haven't had sex with him.I won't have sex with him. If I was to see him I wouldn't have sex because I wood get used......why should he have his cake and eat it! I blocked him on Facebook and I deleted his number so that I won't call him. He text me 4 days ago saying his still having a hard time and needs more time to sort his head out. He asked me if I fancied coming over to watch DVDs, I said 'no' because I knew that if his still wanting a break, why should I come over. I feel very resentful towards him, so I wouldn't come over, and he is getting no sex from me. Even though I blocked him on Facebook his friends still post pictures of him out having fun, and its really upsetting me. I do go out, but I don't enjoy it much because I'm depressed. I just don't get why he is having fun. I had an abortion 2 months ago and I pushed him away because he was stressing badly and putting all of his problems on me, i couldnt cope so i had the abortion. Then i resented him and took it out on him because i felt guilty,sad,angry.....maybe he is punishing me for that?

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He wanted me to keep the baby, but he said he wood support me what ever in did because it was me he loved. After the abortion I did ask for space because I blamed him for stressing me out to the point I was I'll with the pregnancy. So maybe now he is punishing me? he did want me and to settle down, now he says his not sure wot he wants. All I no is I am just trying be very thing I can to move on. And that means I'm not contacted him ever again...I can't anyway, I've blocked him and deleted his number

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