Have been dating 6 months and still no I love you..

[kel6888]

Now I know I probably overreacting and being impatient, but in my past experiences, it is just out of the norm to have not been on an "i love you" level yet.

 

The start of our relationship was rather rough; he is a combat vet and suffers from PTSD. It was very bad before it got better, which is also rather odd, but relationships with people that have PTSD is a whole different ballgame.. you may or may not know where I am coming from if you are a sufferer or a supporter of one.

 

I stay at his house almost every weekend. He is not very affectionate, randomly he will be which always catches me by surprise. He leaves me at his home by myself while he works if I am off. So I know he trusts me.

 

He was cheated on by the woman he was engaged to years ago.. I don't have many details on that. I was engaged myself and basically cheated on too so I know how he feels. He is the guy I have fallen in love with since I had my heart broken. I am more cautious and I am much less selfish than I use to be. I treat him very well and he knows it.

 

So I guess I just want advice on what you think may be going on in his mind lol. Should I tell him first? (I know I know, I haven't said it either. Only because he constantly confuses me).

 

Thank you in advance!

[SpottiOtti]

Any reason why you couldn't discuss this with him?

 

"I care about you a lot. Think I might love you, actually. I've noticed that you haven't talked about your feelings for me much . . . I'd like to know where I stand."

 

Note his reaction and what he says, and you've got your answer. It sounds like he might not be emotionally available right now for a relationship. I'd look into that, before you invest more time and emotion in him.

[kel6888]

I probably should discuss it. He just doesn't open up. I have tried in the past and he kind of cuts the conversation off.

[Ms Darcy]

I think you are coming up with a lot of reasons to explain his emotional unavailability. His issues are probably the case but you really need to hold yourself to a higher standard. It is clear that the level of affection that you get is not what you want. I wouldn't imagine you are going to get an ILY from a guy like this any time soon if at all.

 

I just think there are emotionally available men out there who can give you what you need. No need to try to rescue a wounded bird.

[savignon]

I agree with Ms Darcy. That being said, if you want to be with him and he's not someone to open up or discuss his feelings you will have to be the one to take the lead with that and it may not be reciprocated the way you were hoping.