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Why is my heart beating so fast when I done nothing wrong?


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BF of 2 years broke up with me. It's been 3 weeks. Still fresh and raw. I did have the talk with him 10days after our break up. Which, I have accepted the break up and completely agree that the relationship had to end. Not because we had any major problems but over some time, we both fell out of love. The feelings fade away. I guess without talking to each other we both hang on and hoped that things will be ok and something happened on the day of the break up which triggered our lingering lack of emotion that lead to the break up. I sure wasn't thinking to end the relationship but deep in my heart I knew it had to end. He left with says, "the feelings just aren't the same", "I love you but I don't know if I am still in love with you". Although, I have accepted previous relationship has terminated. I also felt that is he done? are we really done? So, when I talked to him after that 10days. I have asked of his opinion of the possibility of us getting back together given some time and space. He wouldn't say definite no yet he was. "I do not want to do or say anything to lead you on", "I don't know if my feelings will change", "I will keep it open, I won't be dating others". Although, it was only 10days, merely enough time to even fully process the break up. It was my way of confirming and saying the final good-byes. Part of me still think of "hope" but I know I have to move on and is moving on. I have done all I can and have given him the chance to consider.

 

I no longer think about the past relationship. I have nothing bad things to say about him. I am sadden that the relationship had ended but he have given me nothing but love, respect and attention. And, I am glad I had the chance to be with a man who was worthy of my time and my attention.

 

So, its been 3 weeks. Last night, I have registered for an online dating site. While I was on, I happen to see a profile of ex's co worker who happen to work very close by him. At that moment, for what ever reason, my heart start to rise. I know he will go and tell ex about seeing my online dating profile. I shouldn't care, he left me. I am a free agent right? then, I started to think. I do not want to cause any harm or problem for the Ex. He hold very high position at work and def. doesn't appreciate drama. He had not change his relationship stats yet on media site and I am thinking he doesn't want to deal with others comments for now.

 

My question is. by having online dating profile, is this going to hurt, possibly damage if I want to keep the doors open for possible reconnection? My approach is. I am not going to hold my life for someone to come back. I have to live my life. If someone does come back then that is something I need to work on when it comes to that and when it doesn't, I was living my life as I should and no regret or waste time on "false hope".

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I don't think it will make a difference in whether you reconcile or not. Many couples get back together after dating others and many do not. I think many other factors determine the outcome such as whether you miss each other. To be honest the idea of just falling out of love is kind of scary to me. Feelings change in a long term relationship and I think it's impossible for the feelings to be the same as in the beginning.

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One thing is apparent: both of you felt the end of the relationship approaching. The emotions didn't seem like before. For you, it sounds like you felt and knew that this was going to happen. You're sad that the relationship has ended because during your relationship, your ex-boyfriend had provided the love, respect, and attention that you had wanted. That was probably what you wanted in a relationship: love, attention, and respect. Now that you two have both received this love, respect, and attention, your needs have been satisfied, and that is probably why the relationship started becoming, say, less enthralling?

 

Your question is this: will having an online dating profile ruin any chances of you getting back together with your ex? And the answer is no because you two can always get back together. Love will find a way. But, at the same time, you have to ask yourself why you want to get back with your ex. If you two start missing each other, it's because y'all will be missing the love, respect, and attention that you two had given to each other from the previous relationship. And if you two get back together, will you two stay together again?

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