do I wish this girl friend of mine happy birthday?

[wai]

A girl friend of mine was dumped by this guy she slept with for a month. One of my guy friend also was out of a LTR about six months before I hooked them up. I was in a relationship with my ex when they first got into a relationship and we all used to hang out together. I dated my ex for 7 months and they knew my relationship problems inside out. I've let them see my vulnerable side of me.

 

When me and my ex split up, I cried infront of them. Told them how I felt ect... One day, while I was telling them how my ex tried to contact me and how I was having a hard time avoiding his calls and texts, the girl compared my relationship with her so-called relationship which I considered as a booty call. She said the guy who dumped her was crazy about her infront of her bf, my guy firend who I hooked her up with just to make herself look good.He called her once and it obviously was because he was horny. I knew her since years ago and she was complete doormat. I got offended when she compared my relationship with her booty call, so I told her i know he called her just once. She got pissed off because I said so and was being rude the whole night we hang out. The next day I found out her sister unfriended me on facebook.

 

So I cut her and her bf off. I stopped contacting them. They never initiated contacts with me too.

 

Today is her birthday. Do I wish him happy birthday or not?

[mhowe]

For what --- you cut her off months ago.

[wai]

For what --- you cut her off months ago.

 

I'm sick of cutting people out of my life. That's why. I'm just thinking it's better not to make her my enemy at least.

[mhowe]

She is already not in communication with you, you have been unfriended on FB.

There is nothing left to salvage.

 

In the future, best to keep your comments to yourself.

[wai]

She is already not in communication with you, you have been unfriended on FB.

There is nothing left to salvage.

 

In the future, best to keep your comments to yourself.

 

I don't think you get what I meant. She made that comment first. She saw me as a competition. She was in a relationship with a good guy because I introduced her to. The least she could do is not lie to make herself look good when I know the truth.

[DancingFool]

I don't think you get what I meant. She made that comment first. She saw me as a competition. She was in a relationship with a good guy because I introduced her to. The least she could do is not lie to make herself look good when I know the truth.

 

You can be right and be alone or you can learn to bite your tongue and be more tactful with people and have many friends. It's entirely your choice. Also, her sister unfriended you, so you jumped up and unfriended them both - that's pretty reactionary of you. Maybe time out and cool off first before you act, so you don't keep driving people away or cutting people out of your life over every little disagreement or unpleasantness. This fight with your friends was completely unnecessary and your biggest issue is that you are not owning up to your very large part in it. Either way, this goose is cooked. All you can do is going forward work on how you act and react so you don't end up like this time and again.

[mhowe]

I don't care who said what first. You made the rude comment because she likened her relationship to your.

You seem very judgemental, and since you broke off the contact months ago, sending her a bday greeting will do absolutely nothing to mend fences.

If you want to see IF the friendship is salvageable (and I doubt it is), you would need to apologize.

[wai]

You can be right and be alone or you can learn to bite your tongue and be more tactful with people and have many friends. It's entirely your choice. Also, her sister unfriended you, so you jumped up and unfriended them both - that's pretty reactionary of you. Maybe time out and cool off first before you act, so you don't keep driving people away or cutting people out of your life over every little disagreement or unpleasantness. This fight with your friends was completely unnecessary and your biggest issue is that you are not owning up to your very large part in it. Either way, this goose is cooked. All you can do is going forward work on how you act and react so you don't end up like this time and again.

 

 

Who says I unfriended them both? wow you guys really need to read the whole post before you go ahead and judge me. I said I stopped making contacts with them. so did they. how is that my fault? she made the rude comment first and all i said was i thought he called you just once not multiple times... didn't he?

[mhowe]

Her comment wasn't rude --- you just didn't like it.

And regardless, she has not reached out to you in months, including the holidays. Friendship over.

 

So, to answer your original question --- don't bother acknowledging her bday.

[wai]

I don't care who said what first. You made the rude comment because she likened her relationship to your.

You seem very judgemental, and since you broke off the contact months ago, sending her a bday greeting will do absolutely nothing to mend fences.

If you want to see IF the friendship is salvageable (and I doubt it is), you would need to apologize.

 

I am not trying to mend the friendship. I can't be friends with someone who see me as a competition. I am trying to be a bigger person here by wishing her a happy birthday and I just don't think it is necessary to hate each other. I don't care if you think I am judgemental either.

[wai]

Her comment wasn't rude --- you just didn't like it.

And regardless, she has not reached out to you in months, including the holidays. Friendship over.

 

So, to answer your original question --- don't bother acknowledging her bday.

 

Yes. i consider that as rude. I gave her a shoulder to cry on when she was all heart broken when she was dumped. I expect the same kind of kindness from her. That's what friends do. Not go ahead and put my relationship down and make herself look good in front of her bf who is by the way my friend as well.

[SooSad33]

Sounds like everyone is in an uproar at the moment. Do you think you shld send a greeting her way today?

 

With such disappointments within friends, this is often how we figure out who our 'real friends' are..

Not sure how long you've been actual friends? A long time? I would let things settle down. Was there a need for these 'actions/reactions'? Or is it all just a little childish?

 

' she said this.. I got upset at her.. we all went home, her sis did this with me.. so I did this to them.. etc'.

 

Is it worth it? Do you think you're all real friends here? I'll let you figure it out. I dont know you or these girls.

 

Give it time... let all cool down and maybe you should ALL learn some respect for each other and think before you speak. Some things are just not worth saying.

[wai]

I got upset with her for putting my relationship down. I know 3 of her ex-es. They're all my friends. One of them is like my brother. She kept saying how crazy he was about her and make him look like a loser who btw was a loyal bf, not the one who slept with her and dumped her. I know him as well but we're not close. That's another reason I was pissed off too. I don't like it when people lie especially when she was lying to my friend who is her current bf.

 

I may have been childish but I don't think I treated her bad. I lift her up when she was down but she did the complete opposite. I took her to places to meet new people. When she fights with her current bf, I would listen to her problems and give her advice.

 

It probably isn't worth it. I'm not thinking about becoming friends with her again. We are different in so many ways. I just thought it might end this hatred when I wish her a happy birthday. After all it was her birthday no matter how bad she was as a friend to me.