I dont know what is the best way to handle this? Can I just ask for it?

[shootingstarz]

BF of 2 years recently (3wks) broke up with me. Two weeks since the break up. I did contact him to talk about some business matter and went further by asking about the possibility of getting back together after some time and space. He wouldn't say def. no to the idea yet he was. He was saying that he doesn't think his feelings would change but ok and that It's been only 2 weeks and still too raw. Anyway, reason that I am here isn't about the relationship but the business side.

 

About a year ago. He have helped me with purchasing a new car. He co-signed and made the payments. This was a huge commitment on his part more so than mine. But, since our relationship was heading to engagement and eventually marriage. He was ready to make that commitment. In exchange of him buying me a new car. I have suggested to help him out at his office on weekend so he didn't have to hire a temp employee and I can somewhat contribute towards the payments. Now, just a week before our break up. Something unexpected thing came up on his end and he needed some cash flow right away which he only needed to use the money for one week. He have never asked for such. He has too much pride. But, for him to talk to me about it. I knew it was an urgent. I had some money saved up for upcoming plan so I loan him $2000. He was to pay me back following week and ironically, the following week, we broke up. Just to make things clear, money and break up had nothing to do with one another. It was pure coincidence.

 

Now, that we are done we had to settle the business side. I no longer help him at the office since the break up. I asked what are the options about the car. Monthly payment is pretty high, close to $400. He says, not to worry, he knows I need the car and that payment may be too much for me to handle that he will continue with the payments for next 3 more years. I thanked him for his generosity and told him in any case my situation (financially) would change, I will contribute or take over the payments. After the car issue were addressed, he didn't mentioned of the money. And, for some reason I couldn't bring it up after him being generous about the car. I told myself, ok, he is generous about the car and I guess I could forget about the money and consider that money as me contributing towards the car payments. $2000 is nothing compare to him making payments for next 3 more years. So, this was my initial mind set. But then, I am struggling a bit because the money I loan him was something important that I was saving up for. And, that important day is coming up and I have no way in making up for the shortage. Car and the money were two different issues. It has nothing to do with one another. I just don't know what to do.... I need some advice here.

[ThatwasThen]

IMO: You need to leave the $2,000.00 in his hands. If he cuts off paying for your car then it will get repo'd or the very least, you'll not be able to afford what you were "saving for" anyway and you'll have to put the $2,000.00 into some clunker that will break down on you every 1000 miles.

 

He doesn't owe you a car.

 

Frankly I'd be even to embarassed to ask for it back if he was taking care of $400.00/month payments for the next three years. You aren't?

[Ms Darcy]

Go back and talk to him about a loan repayment plan.

[ThatwasThen]

I'll add that I'd be making sure that the $2,000 and the breakup really were'nt just a coincedence and be congnitive of the fact that the payments were indeed being made. check monthly to make sure that it's being doen in other words. You don't want it ending up that he's just telling you that he'll pay for it when he's not.

You know him better then me of course.. just sayin.

[shootingstarz]

that is the thing. "he doesn't owe me any". this is what he says now but things could change. new person in his life will happen and thing about most men, they will do anything to please and make their person happy. just the way it is. I would be so surprise if new person finds out about it and be cool with it. maybe but doubtful.

[ThatwasThen]

that is the thing. "he doesn't owe me any". this is what he says now but things could change. new person in his life will happen and thing about most men, they will do anything to please and make their person happy. just the way it is. I would be so surprise if new person finds out about it and be cool with it. maybe but doubtful.

 

Like I said, I'd be embarassed to ask for $2,000.00 back when I was getting a whole car from him for nothing. Then again, I'd never let someone I wasn't married to buy me a car. I'd have used the $2,000 I saved and bought the clunker.

Up to you what you're own pride will allow you to do, Starz.

[chr8st8na]

I'll add that I'd be making sure that the $2,000 and the breakup really were'nt just a coincedence and be congnitive of the fact that the payments were indeed being made. check monthly to make sure that it's being doen in other words. You don't want it ending up that he's just telling you that he'll pay for it when he's not.

You know him better then me of course.. just sayin.

 

do this... and get him to sign off on it just in case 'other person' gets upset about it and makes a big fuss. Also if that important has anything to do with rent $$, then yea talk to him BUT if it has nothing about rent $$, forget it.

[shootingstarz]

it was coincidence. that I have no doubt in mind. We weren't really ready to end per si. But, something happened on the day of the break up which triggered our lingering unstable feelings (emotionally on both party) to finally explode. He beat me to the punch and initiated the break up. At least for now, he is a man of his words so I am not worried about him possibility of not making the payment. But for how long is uncertain. The man I know, he will commit to what he promised but then like I said on my previous post. Things can change when the new person comes along.

[chr8st8na]

well if new person comes along and you find out, you can ask for some sort of contract about the payments. hopefully by then, your feelings for him will dissipate and it'll be easier for you to approach him about it.

[shootingstarz]

There is a beauty in all this. I don't think about the past relationship/him. I put my pride in my pocket and asked about reconnection possibility. That was my first and last attempt. As odd as it sound, I can't hardly even picture his face at all. And, its only been 3 weeks.

[metrogirl]

He could start dating someone new and get serious with her and I doubt she will be okay with her man footing the bill for your car.

 

I think you need to find a way to get the loan in your name and you pay for your own car. Get it refinanced if you have to, that isn't something he should be paying for unless you two had kids that you need to drive around.