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Former Friend's inconsistant behavior...


Cynder

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I had a long term friendship with someone for about 8 years. While things were fine for most of it, she changed over time and I just couldn't keep her as a friend anymore.

 

I've posted multiple threads about her in the last year and a half or so, this is the most recent one:

 

 

 

That thread goes into more detail about the situation if anyone is interested.

 

I blocked her on facebook shortly after that one was posted. And since then nothing has happened.

 

But I just now saw something that bothers me a little and I just thought I would ask for opinions on this.

 

I worked on a really big film project over the summer. And in the beginning she was heavily involved. But then she suddenly had a real issue with several of my cast and crew. She started talking about how they were all a bunch of lowlives, etc. Ok, she's entitled to her opinion even if there's no real evidence substantiating it. This was her reason for backing out. And she convinced other people (who I didn't previously know and met through this project) to back out by lying about me. (Example: she told a lesbian actress who was cast that I am "racist toward gay people.")

 

So anyway, I blocked her. And she has several facebook accounts. I blocked them all. I also blocked her email.

 

But tonight, I was on facebook, and I see members of my cast/crew posting about being at a party at her house.

 

I have no problem with them being there. I also have no problem with not being invited (because I wouldn't have went anyway.) What I do have a problem with is that these are the same people she was talking all kinds of crap about and calling lowlives. Now she's inviting them over to party with her?

 

Her inconsistent behavior is something I can't rap my head around. I am also worried she is going to try turning even more people against me. Part of me thinks "I'm an adult, I shouldn't even worry about this high school crap." But part of me can't help but be confused and a little worried.

 

It's important to point out that she didn't know these people before this project started. So it's not like they all were friends beforehand. She met them through me. She told me what bad people she thought they were, now they are all buddying up apparently.

 

So does anyone else have any insight on this? I know there isn't much I can do, but maybe an outsider can see it differently then I can, idk.

 

I cut her out of my life and I'm ashamed she's still getting to me in little ways like this.

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My thought is that there is still something you're getting out of this situation, maybe subconsciously, because otherwise you wouldn't be so upset over third party transactions that you'd create a thread about it. Are you holding on to some guilt over blocking her maybe, even though you felt it was the best thing for you? Sometimes it's hard to feel good about tough, extreme decisions like that. You do what you gotta do, but it eats at you.

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My thought is that there is still something you're getting out of this situation, maybe subconsciously, because otherwise you wouldn't be so upset over third party transactions that you'd create a thread about it. Are you holding on to some guilt over blocking her maybe, even though you felt it was the best thing for you? Sometimes it's hard to feel good about tough, extreme decisions like that. You do what you gotta do, but it eats at you.

 

I don't have any guilt over blocking her...

 

I'm not even really upset, it's more like I'm confused. Last Spring these people were nothing but lowlives and she used the fact that I was working with them against me. Now she's inviting them over to her place for a party? It just doesn't make any sense. I know no one here can get inside her head, but sometimes strangers can provide a different perspective on things.

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