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Getting back together - years later?


IMN88

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My best friend and her husband. Dated in their 20s, she ran out on him (broke his heart), they each married someone else and divorced. In their 50s, they met again...and married two years later. They are the happiest, most loving couple I know (aside from me and my mister).

 

Tina and Kurt. Married when they were 19 & 20 and divorced very quickly. They each married others...met again after their divorces after years of not speaking and married each other again in their late 30s after just a few months of dating. They're in their 50s now and still act like newlyweds.

 

Those are the two I know.

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My best friend and her husband. Dated in their 20s, she ran out on him (broke his heart), they each married someone else and divorced. In their 50s, they met again...and married two years later. They are the happiest, most loving couple I know (aside from me and my mister).

 

Tina and Kurt. Married when they were 19 & 20 and divorced very quickly. They each married others...met again after their divorces after years of not speaking and married each other again in their late 30s after just a few months of dating. They're in their 50s now and still act like newlyweds.

 

Those are the two I know.

why did they break up? was there always NC during the whole time after the BU?

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Yes, in both cases. Years and years of NC.

 

Tina and Kurt hadn't spoken in 15 years. In fact, she got a call from a high school friend who told her Kurt had died. She told me, "he's not dead. If he were dead, I'd feel it." I thought she was nuts. Who would make that up? Nobody. A year or so later, her phone rings and it's Kurt, her "dead" first ex-husband.

 

Here's the story: Kurt and a friend were playing a video game at Kurt's house in TX. Kurt was at the controls. The phone rang, so his friend answered it. "Kurt, they're asking for you. What do you want me to tell him?"

 

Kurt: I died! (He collapses back on the sofa and stares at the TV screen.) Who was on the phone?

 

Friend: No idea.

 

Kurt: What did he say?

 

Friend: Not much.

 

Kurt: Is he calling back?

 

Friend: Doubt it. I told him you died. He sort of stammered something and hung up.

 

Kurt: Seriously? You told him I died?

 

Friend: That's what you told me to say....

 

Kurt: Idiot!

 

A year later, Kurt calls his old friend, who tells him about the memorial service they held for him and how Tina refused to go to the service because she kept saying he wasn't dead. Kurt said, "Wow...Tina...Give me her number." He said he never stopped thinking about her and wondering if he'd ever see her again.

 

 

Deb and McCabe didn't talk for 20 years. She ran into his sister who told him she'd run into Deb. He sent her an email (got her email from his sister). I remember her saying she was going to have coffee with an old boyfriend. Then they made plans for lunch. Then they had dinner. Then they were dating and officially a couple and one day he was helping her clear the path from her house to the beach and she said she turned around and knew...he's the one. And he was and still is. They've been married 3 1/2 years.

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Kurt heard a rumor Tina had cheated and he divorced her. (She hadn't, just small town rumor mill.)

 

Deb said one day she was sitting at McCabe's house and she said she knew if she didn't get up and leave right then, she'd never leave. She (literally) got up and ran out of the house. She didn't love him. She went away to grad school and refused to ever speak to him. He was crushed.

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Yeah I knew a guy on another forum who married his current wife young, they divorced and married others, each divorced those spouses and ended up together 10 years after their original divorce, happy as ever since my last talking to him.

 

 

BUT, the problem with these stories is that they often fill peoples' heads with hope, and unfortunately hope can be the first step on a long road of disappointment. Never plan your life (or Hell, your lunch) on getting together or back together with someone. The key thing in pretty much any long term reunion is a long period of not talking to or thinking about the other, and often also a large dose of chance.

 

If anyone has even an inkling of getting back together with a recent ex, please look at things logically and quell any hopes. Rebuild yourself based on yourself, not on the hope for that "missing piece" to come back. The only piece missing is you.

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If anyone has even an inkling of getting back together with a recent ex, please look at things logically and quell any hopes. Rebuild yourself based on yourself, not on the hope for that "missing piece" to come back. The only piece missing is you.

 

Couldn't agree more.

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@AutumnBorn: was it a bad breakup? like they hated each other before reconciling years down the road?

@duke nukem: very good points

 

Kurt, yeah, he really hated Tina. After he heard she was cheating, he never spoke another word to her, but the things he told his friends were horrible. He made up new swear words just for her. Tina was really upset Kurt believed the rumors - he lived in the same small town, so he knew how rumors got started over nothing.

 

McCabe never hated Deb. He was just crushed. Deb just felt relief to get out of there at the time. McCabe is in his 60s now, Deb is nearly 60. It's like first love.

 

Have you read this? link removed

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I just wanted to post this thread to see if it does happen sometimes in life, even if things didn’t end neatly. I think my current situation will need a thread of its own at some point. It will be a challenge for everyone to decipher, I'm sure! However, to summarize, there is no way in the short term we’ll be getting back together - She’s moved abroad!

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A good friend of mine just got back together with and old gf. They broke up years ago, never understood why. They were really good together..

 

Both ended up getting married and had nc with each other for 12 or so years. He got divorced and just recently she did and they got back in touch through fb.

 

I think she searched him out on there and in the last couple of months have been dating and are now back together.. I am really happy for them.

 

Don't see that happening for me with the love of my life though as it was an age gap so no long period and then meeting again for me

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