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Why do I always get "blocked" by their girl friends?


Dougie_D

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A lot of girls will make some type of "hand signal" like a "don't talk to that guy" type of gesture to some girls I have already begun to have a conversation with.

 

Most of the time it's when a girl comes back to their friend.

 

I find it kind of rude that girls apparently have to "agree" with each other before a guy can be even considered.

 

Is this JUST me, or is this a very common practice among women?

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Dougie, I know EXACTLY what you mean. It's quite common in the bar/club scene, especially in the God forsaken dating environment that is NY to the C. Women want their girlfriends to like/accept any guy in their life, so they often seek their approval very early on.

 

I have only ever encountered this once when trying to grind with a girl from behind. Usually, the girl is dancing with her girlfriend, and the girlfriend may or may not have a guy with her. I remember in college when I was as socially awkward as the guys on Big Bang Theory...I tried grinding with a girl, and her girlfriend made a face as to not approve of me. That was over pretty quickly! And that is the reason I have to be sh#tfaced in order to just randomly grind with a girl like that, although at almost 30, I don't frequent places like that any longer.

 

And I believe the term is c#ck blocked. LMAO. College...

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I'm a girl but I was on the receiving end of that once from a friend. I was dancing with a guy who I actually thought was kind of cute, and my friend dragged me away suddenly. She was like "I got you away from that creeper," and I didn't bother disagreeing at the time since the guy was already sheepishly moving to the other side of the dance floor, plus I didn't have that much invested in him having just met him. I think girls should really let their friends choose what guys to talk to or dance with, even if they personally don't find them attractive.

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so you are talking to a girl in a pub/bar and one of her female friends waves her hands as a gesture to indicate you are not a catch ?

 

If I have got that right that is seriously pathetic on the part of the girls and demoralisingly (is that a word) insentitive

 

Yup, that's exactly what they'll do. Or she will tap her friends foot below to signal it. I definitely get the picture and never push the situation.

 

I've had good looking guy friends that asked me to "bail" them out but it's never so obvious. Also, it would be different if the girl I was talking to wanted to get out of the situation,but 9/10 it's always her "friend" that doesn't "approve" me.

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Yup, that's exactly what they'll do. Or she will tap her friends foot below to signal it. I definitely get the picture and never push the situation.

 

I've had good looking guy friends that asked me to "bail" them out but it's never so obvious. Also, it would be different if the girl I was talking to wanted to get out of the situation,but 9/10 it's always her "friend" that doesn't "approve" me.

 

I have to agree with you here, Dougie. I've had my fair share of embarrassing rejections like that (remember, the women in NYC are probably the meanest breed out there), and I've also done my fair share of rejecting. And I have also had to "rescue" some of my boys, but you're right, it's never as obvious. Some women take great pleasure in rejecting guys like that. I have seen women actually physically push men away or put their hand a 1/2 inch from their face when doing the rejecting.

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I'm a girl but I was on the receiving end of that once from a friend. I was dancing with a guy who I actually thought was kind of cute, and my friend dragged me away suddenly. She was like "I got you away from that creeper," and I didn't bother disagreeing at the time since the guy was already sheepishly moving to the other side of the dance floor, plus I didn't have that much invested in him having just met him. I think girls should really let their friends choose what guys to talk to or dance with, even if they personally don't find them attractive.

 

Exactly! I don't know if it's a jealousy thing or what, but it ALWAYS seem like the one pulling their friend away has some other agenda that never works out...haha.

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In the end it doesn't sound like you'd be into a girl who was clique-ish like that, relied on her friends to make her opinions for her or even participated in that kind of rejecting when its her friend getting the attention. So, all in all, they're weeding themselves out for you!! (glass half full version)

Perhaps time to re-evaluate where you meet girls. You're young but that club scene gets old pretty quickly.

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I'm wondering if you should try to meet women in a different way - maybe some kind of activity or meetup group? bars/clubs can be notoriously shallow.

 

Yes. Bar/club scenes can be really brutal. Haven't really done that scene since my early 20s. Granted, I was in a 5 year relationship until I was 28, but when possible, I still avoid that scene. Laid back bars are ok, though. But I despise clubs.

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Having lived in LA for a while I can empathize with you. Dating out there is not much fun. I remember the "kid in the candy store" mentality ran rampant out there. No one could imagine settling down into a relationship when there were so many hot men or women out there to chase after.

 

I have had to save a friend occasionally, but I would never be so obvious or rude about it. If her friends are acting like that...you probably don't want to date her anyway.

 

I agree with the others though you're not just out of college so maybe the bar/club is not the best way to meet someone. Join a meet-up...I bet they have great hiking ones in LA....even if you're not totally into it sometimes just meeting new people is worth it.

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About meet-up groups: It's the same mentality of when I go to a sports bar JUST TO WATCH A GAME. The only meet-up groups that emphasis on socializing are "mixers" and "speed dating". I'm part of a board game group, but I don't go anymore because I'm specifically wanting to meet new people IN MY AGE GROUP. Plus, you really have no time to actually engage in a conversation. You are so into JUST PLAYING THE GAME. You bounce from game to game.

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I think that the plus side about a meetup group is that women aren't going to be giving each other hand gestures like "do not talk to that guy!!" try a few things - maybe even a hiking meetup group. I remember when I was 21 and going out to clubs, we'd kind of do the same thing, ie, rescue our friends from guys or tell them, 'no, not that guy, go talk to that other guy instead....'

 

I'm part of a few meetups, including a very general interest meetup group which is really social, but very general. Our meetups have included going to community theater together, going for drinks, or tailgating and then going to the baseball game.

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Here's a novel idea to enter into one of your threads: STOP TRYING TO PICK GRAPES IN AN APPLE ORCHARD.

 

Meet girls somewhere other than clubs/bars/pubs/dive bars/taverns/night life pick-up joints. There's a refreshing idea for you.

 

The only meet-up groups that emphasis on socializing are "mixers" and "speed dating".

 

Absolutely BS.

 

Dougie -- in some previous thread I gave you the link to the link removed site.

 

Do something: go to the site. Enter your city, state and how far a radius you'd be willing to travel (the farther, the better.)

 

And have a look at all the SOCIAL GROUPS for people YOUR AGE that are in L.A.

 

It'll blow your mind.

 

Take your hands, make the effort, and check it out, instead of talking about stuff you haven't bothered to investigate, and blowing excuses about previous boardgame groups out your butt.

 

Try it out. You can do it.

 

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Yup, that's exactly what they'll do. Or she will tap her friends foot below to signal it. I definitely get the picture and never push the situation.

 

I've had good looking guy friends that asked me to "bail" them out but it's never so obvious. Also, it would be different if the girl I was talking to wanted to get out of the situation,but 9/10 it's always her "friend" that doesn't "approve" me.

 

I thought that only happened in the movies.....

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Wait, now there are hand signals? That coupled with the whole emoticons are flirting thing I saw in another thread makes me feel ancient indeed. I think it's indicative of the fact you need to stop hanging around girls who apparently can't make up their own minds about what they want, and find a woman who can. My friends and I and no not even my sisters ever did anything like that when we were clubbing or dating, although admittedly that was back when we used to look down our noses at the likes of Madonna and Prince. Yes, I am giving away my age.

 

Maybe it's different now, but wow that's kind of cold and messed up in my books.

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