The Resolution

[The_Alchemist]

Year 2013 ends and begins the year 2014. When i think of a resolution, only one seems to me of any value. Its finding GOD, Truth, enlightenment, true self or whatever you might like to call it.

 

I have to be determined to know that which is eternal, or that about which i know nothing. May be in the end i come out cynical about this Search. But i have to get this done. Its a lingering thread which has been hanging above me from a great time. If i do not know myself as I am, then all this life is just an illusion or delusion or whatever one calls it.

 

I am not a saint nor am i a sinner. I am a common man with his strength and weakness in the normal sense of the words. I am someone who has ego, lust, love, laziness, intelligence, addictions and all sorts of holy/unholy things. But there has been one intention at the back of my mind always. The intention to find out the reality.

 

I have had experiences of GOD, I know the power of prayers. I have been saved by THAT many times, whenever there was a call for help in great difficulty or even in ordinary situations, the help always came to me. I know and believe he exists. But still the connection is not well established. The boundaries of ME and HIM are not well established.

 

What relationship do i share with him. I am not looking for answers from someone else or any text books. If i try to get those, then there would be various people with various experiences and beliefs of their own and each one believing their own to be true and may be that is true. But i want to find out on my own. I want to be crystal clear about all this. The way i see the sun rise, i want to know about him.

 

There are lot many things to explore in the search. Some philosophers say that the Self is an illusion. Is it ? If self is an illusion then the whole world is, since we are looking at the world through this illusion. I have to know the answers to all these as well..

 

All of this should be achieved by December 31 2014. This is my resolution.

[The_Alchemist]

So where we are in this search. We started with considering whether the self is an illusion or not. We need to observe this ever happening stream of voice in the mind. A song was coming into it which was heard some time back, which i enjoyed. So what is happening in the mind at the moment. Lets just put every thought that comes into the mind. A thought to wipe it out came into the mind and then another thought about why should we wipe it. Mere Saiyan re, saiyan re...jhoothi maya ka jhoota maiyan re. Some itching and scratching. No thought directed it, it just happened. This physical organism is strange. There is peace and the thought to write it disturbs it. Mere saiyan re saiyan re...jhoothi maya ka jhoota maiyan re. Daaman main kitne...daaman main kitne. Daaman main. How much affected we are by what others would think about us. Why ? Mere saiyan re...saiyan re...one is trying to stop this train of thoughts...train of thoughts..interesting. mme....ka jhooght...Chocolate.muskil nahi ...llaallala

[The_Alchemist]

Good Morning.

Lets just observe. Lets just observe. Who is it that is directing all this search. Is past knowledge of any help here ? Its better to start afresh then to go in the wrong direction. A dream like state...song...red eyes and that face of a vamp. again a vamp...memory based associations. song. reactions of amazement at some strange words. Expectations. Based on knowledge of relations. Idea of a good image creation. When someone thinks good of us..its just an image, it does not change us. the same applies with when someone thinks bad of us. Its their thoughts, their perception about us. Although it may affect their behavior and treatment towards us,,,is it really a big deal.