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Its been a long road


themariner

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I was with this girl for almost 5 years and we lived together for more than 4 years and were engaged to be married. Its been 5 months since she ended it with no other explanation than she just want happy anymore. She asked me to move out and I did just that the same day. We have had no contact whatsoever in these 5 months. I deleted her and all her friends and family from all social media and just disappeared. I was extemely hurt but I did not beg or cry. I did my best to hide my emotions as she helped me pack my things and not much was said on either side. I only took what I entered the relationship with or things I purchased myself. Anything we got together or she got for me I left behind. I didnt even say goodbye when I got the last of my stuff as she just sat on the bed crying.

 

I stayed with family for about a month until I could get my own place. I have been on my own in my apartment for going on 4 months now. I struggled a great deal for the first few months. I have lost over 75lbs (Im a big guy so Im actually healther and look better). Ive also been in therapy to try and deal with the loss of what i thought ws the woman Id spend my life with.

 

Ive come a long way. She does not consume my thoughts like in the beginnig. I still think of her and miss her everyday but it is less with the passage of time.

 

I still remember the good times we shared and how well we got along. The hardest part is I feel the way we left things has given me so many questions that I will never get answers to. She showed signs of pulling away over the last several months of the relationship. Things like Valentines Day and my birthday where she didnt even get me a card like she always did in years past. Not only did she always get me a gift but she would often spend the time to make special things for me.

 

Last week I seemed to turn a corner. Ive never hit the anger phase because I really have no reason to be angry. I feel that Im so close to acceptance but I cant seem to get that push I need to get over the hump.

 

I miss her but Ive learned to live without her.

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Good for you- you've done a lot of good things to work on accepting & recovering. Yes, this kind of thing can be very hard on one, emotionally etc. Especially with it being a LTR. Was 5 yrs for me as well. He left.. so i understand.

Very hard to lose someone you came to love!

 

Just keep working on it... give it all time. Things do not disapear in a week (feelings..memories..).

 

tc

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