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afnanam

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Hi guys,

Basically a few months ago my boyfriend broke up with me and I was absolutely devastated. I put myself through hell but eventually came around and those crazy feelings began to dwindle into something normal. He is still very much in my life and we kiss and cuddle and all of the other coupley stuff, but in complete secret.

 

I then met this other guy, who would text me, facebook me and snapchat me all day every day for over a month. He would call me beautiful and would show an interest in me and I started to really like him, I kissed him and we mutually agreed not to sleep with other people before one another. However, the last four days he's gone almost silent on me. Rather than consistently message him I would just send little snapchats throughout the day often with no reply. Today I saw his snapchat score was consistently going up, yet he hadn't opened mine, so I asked him over facebook "is everything okay? You've gone all quiet on me" and he hasn't even bothered to read it. I really am interested in him and feel like such a clingy idiot I don't know if I can reverse whatever damage I have apparently caused or understand what games he's playing. I don't feel like I've said anything out of turn or unnecessary, I didn't want to appear too aggravated by the fact he's ignoring me so I kept it casual and calm but really it's been like taking a bullet after I've just begun to get over my first real heartbreak. Did I do the wrong thing by questioning his silence?

 

I live by myself, although I'm soon to be moving in with my friends in a couple of weeks. However, I just feel so lonely all of the time as I'm currently spending the Christmas holidays alone at university. I have a job selling shots in a nightclub and I do get attention from guys all of the time. It may sound big-headed but I am aware that I'm an attractive girl and I just don't know where I go wrong. My life seems to be consistently crashing down with maybe two weeks of total happiness at most at any time. It has been a very turbulent 20 years. Most of the time I feel an emptiness inside of me and that boils over into self-hate, anger and tears. I have moments where I feel that nothing will ever just be okay for me, and that there's no point. It's as if some higher power is punishing me all the time and I have no hope of ever defeating it and so there's no point to my life.

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Talk to a counselor and get some real life help. You can get through this difficult time, suicide is never a good answer. It's a final answer to a temporary problem. Life is full of ups and downs. Just learn to go with the flow. I will say stop letting men rule your life. Find happiness within yourself and then you will attract the right man for you.

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You are being way too hard on yourself, especially when it's over 2 guys.

One thing you have to tell yourself is that not everyone will like you. Just like you do not like everyone. We all have different tastes and attractions so when someone isn't interested in you do not take it so personally. It probably turned out that you are just not his type after the initial physical attraction he felt, or that he has found someone he is more interested in. That is human nature and that is his prerogative.

When you find someone that is your 'fit' you will know it. When someone is right for you, they will call when they say they will, and they will follow up on plans you've made. And you will never question whether how you are acting will make him mad or not want to see you again.

Be yourself. And if a guy doesn't find the real you to be attractive, forget him. Do not change your character or what you believe in to get a guy. The perfect guy is out there and will come to you someday. Just don't sell yourself short and settle for less than perfect when perfect should be all you are willing to accept.

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