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He cheated.. Kicked him out.. And he hasnt tried getting intouch


Natalie1987xx

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So 1 day I got his fone and found a bunch of messages too a girl he works with.. How he missed her when she wasnt around.. She was Perfect for him how he wanted too fall asleep in her arms.. neway . Confronted him n all he said was he hadnt slept with her.. of course I kicked him out it isnt the first time hes done this... He never explained why or he was sorry nothing!! Its been 2 weeks now and tbh I thought he would be begging me back?? And no nothing?!? Im hurt angry pissed off mostly confused ??ive NC him aswell as I know i Cudnt be with a man like that!! Just dont understand why he dont care. 10 years we was together??

 

Thanks for reading

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Forget him. It's easier said than done, but you need to drop this man from your life - don't even try contacting him. He's done this more than once and even once is enough to prove his level of respect for you is miniscule to zero. You can find a better, trustworthy man. 10 years is a long time but you need to think: it's his loss. He will continue this behavior and has no remorse. Move on, head up, value yourself enough to give another man a chance to love you unconditionally.

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He has not contacted you bcoz he has ran to her. He was having an affair-now she is his gf. Its likely just a rebound and you probably will hear from him once the infatuation wears off and he realizes she is not as perfect as he thinks she is but you have to realize you are worth so much more

 

you need to accept its over and then if/when he comes back-be strong enough to tell him to get out of your life for good!

 

There are better men out there. Now you need to heal and start planning the next chapter in your life.

 

Make a promise to yourself that no matter what-you will not let him come back. Its OVER. Once you accept that-you will begin to grieve the loss. It will take time but you will get there

 

He doesn't deserve you and he is her problem now! Some people have such a fear of being alone that they will not leave you until they have lined up someone else first. Some people are emotionally immature and they cannot handle relationship conflict so they have an affair-when everything is good between you they are great but as soon as things get a little difficult-they bail. You do not need such a weak, pathetic a-hole in your life.

 

And then theres people who are so insecure that they crave attention and seek validation from others to stroke their fragile ego. Again losers

 

Dont blame yourself for this. He is the one with the issues. After ten years together-he should have had more respect for you. What a horrible, nasty way to and a ltr-through an affair. These people make me sick and so angry

 

move on darling. As I said already there are better men out there

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It is a long time... I am trying so hard but I have sudden urges of anger were I wanna fone him and just give him abuse and ask why? But im not going too... im trying not too

 

Don't give him the satisfaction. Don't show him any emotion. When my ex cheated on me-I just acted like he was dead-he did not exist anymore.

 

I know my complete indifference towards him and lack of emotion hurt him more than anything. He probably would have preferred me screaming at him and throwing an ashtray at his head which is what he was expecting but it was more fun watching him squirm wondering if I am ever gonna acknowledge him again which I didn't.

 

I am good at turning as cold as the north pole when I need to and you need to do the same.

 

He is not worth it

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To expect a man whose value system...or lack there of..who will cheat on you to somehow have an epiphany and come back to you with remorse and an apology...

 

Is to expect a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.

He is not capable of acting in that manner.

Excuse him from your life.

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Since "this isn't the first time he's done this," you need to be honest with yourself and admit that this is his true character, and there's nothing you can do to change that. As they say, "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me."

 

Ten years is a long time to be together, yet you'd be doing yourself a grave disservice by continuing to live like this. Be kind to yourself...

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I just pray it gets easier.

 

The great news is it does. The longer they are out of your life, the more time and distance you have between them and what was really going on the more you will find yourself as the song says "Wide Awake" and what you'll see will make you glad you didn't have to spend another minute with him. At some point and time he may or may not try to get in touch, possibly even months or years down the road. At that point you need to remember you were powerful enough and stood up for yourself by kicking him to the curb. He's staying away, because he's ashamed and you've shown him you won't put up with crap. That's a very, very good thing.

 

Take your strength, heal and move on, look back on the relationship to learn from it and then move forward secure in the knowledge you stand up for yourself and you stand for something, unlike him.

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Im taking your advice defo not gonna give him the satisfaction on seeing me hurt and upset!! He would love that.

I just pray it gets easier.

 

It does get easier. Look up the five stages of grief after infidelity or after a breakup. Its hard but you will get there. The time it takes depends on you. Know what your worth- think it, feel it and own it. Also hold onto that anger for awhile. I think its easier to get over someone when your angry at them-think of all the bad times-forget the good.

 

This man proved hes not the right one for you and there is someone better out there.

 

And yes after so long together-you don't deserve this. That just makes him even more of an a-hole!

 

But try to remember its a good thing you found out when you did so your not wasting another second of your life on someone who can betray you like this.

 

I used to fear ending up in this situation, terrified of it in fact but now I don't fear it. If it happens, I know I am strong enough to deal with it and cut him outa my life. You are stronger then you think and you will come out the other side happy and ready for anything. Karma will catch up with him though. What goes around comes around.

 

The ex that cheated on me got engaged recently-then found out she had an affair so he got what he deserved in the end

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Thats all im doing and there is alot of bad too look at.. we met wen we was in school im 26 now... If im completely honest no I dont miss him.

I just cant get the "wondering" what hes doing? Thinking? Its driving me insane! I cried for 1 day and havent since!!

 

Hes deavtivated his Facebook aswell which I dont understand??

 

Im glad least I dont know what hes doing!

 

I am a strong person I lost my mom 12 months ago so this is notjing compared too that!!

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My main advice for anyone facing this situation would be (with the benefit of having been through it myself) :

 

choose a purpose, and use the energy from this to help fuel it.

 

I chose, on the day that I found out about the cheating - I remember it clear as a bell even years later - to come out of it an even stronger woman. A sort of trial by fire; it was a chance to clean out all my own crap. And no one - no one - was going to take away my own power over my life.

 

I am terribly sorry for what has happened. It's difficult times for you. I'm sorry about your mom. And I'm sorry about the end of this relationship and how it has hurt you.

 

You know what? You can do this. Keep in mind how you want to be at the end of this. Anything at all - everything you want for yourself. Keep that in your minds eye. And do things that help move you towards it.

 

A few years from now, you will be this beautiful woman who has grown leaps and bounds from this moment in time.

 

And him? ? He will probably be doing the same things, over and over again. Different beds maybe, different women maybe, but probably the same things.

 

Even if he isn't...it won't matter so much as it does now. Things will look so totally different. You'll have no doubts you made the right choice - for you . Took care of yourself and not let someone beat you down.

 

Sometimes, when things got really tough and my anger was really strong...I thought of my own dad. He had loved me very much; and I 'd see his face in my mind and his voice helping give me a loving reminder of what a loving thing to do..for myself...might be.

 

lots of love.

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Sorry about your mom. That just makes him an a-hole x 3!!!

 

Keep busy. Start moving now. It will give you something to focus on. If there is anything there belonging to him-give it to charity.

 

Maybe start a course too-even something simple like baking, art, pottery, even drama classes. Something fun that you can put some energy into and make new friends

 

you could also work towards a promotion.

 

Set some goals and work on reaching them.

 

He just lost the best thing he ever had!!! And by the time he realizes it, you will be able to stick your middle finger in the air and LOL

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Thankyou you for your comments...I know I can get through this.

Im not sure how im feeling tbh I know I wont ever take him back but its nice too know he wants me back if that makes sense??

 

It makes me feel sick wen I think that hes gonna have another girlfriend!

 

I try not too but its so hard!!

 

Even harder that we have a 6 year old daughter together,, which he hasnt asked About foned on Xmas day nothing??

 

I mean what do I do about that?

Y should I make the effort? She hasnt asked for him so do i Just leave it until he wants too see her??

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Thankyou you for your comments...I know I can get through this.

Im not sure how im feeling tbh I know I wont ever take him back but its nice too know he wants me back if that makes sense??

 

It makes me feel sick wen I think that hes gonna have another girlfriend!

 

I try not too but its so hard!!

 

Even harder that we have a 6 year old daughter together,, which he hasnt asked About foned on Xmas day nothing??

 

I mean what do I do about that?

Y should I make the effort? She hasnt asked for him so do i Just leave it until he wants too see her??

 

Well you will both need to figure out how he is going to support her.

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