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Is 32 pushing it?


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I just turned 32 and while I experience many advantages to being single, I would like to be in a relationship. I am a working professional, no children (yet), independent, I have friends and hobbies that I enjoy. I'm hoping to find more social events in the new year to meet more people and to do some different things apart from my same activities. The type of guys that I run into in South Florida do not have jobs, or if they do they live with family, have 1 or more kids, many have no vehicle and are very superficial. Basically, there is a "type" that these guys want (which is usually fair skin, big booty, possibly fake breasts...that "South Beach" look I guess). I grew up down here so I'm not shocked, but I didn't think it would be as big of a factor as I think it has become. Anyway, I am 5'10" and plus sized but I am attractive. This year, 2013, I started working out several days every week (for health as well as shaping) and I do take time to wear flattering clothes, natural make up, etc. I get compliments often and definitely practice good hygiene. So I don't think my singleness has anything to do with my appearance. Many of my friends use adjectives to describe me (based on compliments I get) as talented (I love to sing), hard working (in my profession), funny/silly (I have a great sense of humour), pretty (the things I described above), mature (I always get asked for advice) etc.



Now that I'm 32 (not that it's old) I'm a little confused as to why I'm still single. I mean, I'm not desperate for any ol' man that comes along just so that I can say I have somebody, but I would like to no longer be single. I've pretty much always been the "great, cool friend who's single". I haven't dated a guy longer than a few months at a time and honestly I haven't met one that I've felt super compatible with from the beginning. Usually it's a physical attraction and that's it. We don't mesh when it comes to deeper things. I would like to have kids, but I'm realistic and realize that there is only a certain window of time for that (besides adoption, foster kids or step kids, etc).



I just wish I knew the answer to "why am I still single?"

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it could also be cause you haven't met someone who you want a relationship with.


i notice that with age people become more picky in choosing their life-long partner. it's no longer dating for the hell of it but rather about finding someone that you can spend the rest of your life with.


if all of your past relationships only lasted for a few months, and you and everyone believe there's nothing wrong with you, then it might be that you're attracted to men that you aren't compatible with. some people are just very bad luck with love. maybe try to get to know each other well enough before starting a relationship.


try online dating. but i do think the best option would be to meet a guy through mutual friends. that way they know what kind of person he is and kinda have an idea of whether you guys are right for each other.

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It sounds like you have your life in order so you're probably holding out for something special. That's a good thing but given what you have going for you, it may take a little longer for you and your future boo to find each other.


Just keep doing your thing and putting the "I'd like a relationship" vibe out into the universe...it'll get picked up.


Good luck!

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  • 1 month later...

Dear lord I hope 32 isn't pushing it!


Honey you're single because you haven't met the right one yet it's hat simple. You're independent and not desperate please don't change those wonderful characteristics.


I agree with the others if you have the options of changing geographic locations I say go for it. Places like FL and CA seem to be filled with so many beautiful people that no one sees the point in settling down. however don't go for just any big city...place like Chicago and NYC can be just a tough.

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Hotcocoa, I'll be honest here...


You and I are almost part of an elite club. As a 37 year old male, my position in life similar to yours. No kids, own my condo, have a vehicle, have a self-directed investment fund, and have a middle class job. I expect more or less the same from a perspective partner, however I am flexible with almost everything except one: I do not want to raise other peoples kids. This may sound selfish, but it is my rule.


Now, you will find someone with these qualities eventually. I did, even though it didn't work out after a relatively short marriage. My soon-to-be-ex happened to be my age also (didn't have to resort to dating women 15 years younger due to my "no kids" rule I won't get into any more detail about my "walk away wife" here, as that's a story for another forum board.


And it is tough for us. Online dating I won't even touch. 95% of women my age have kids, and the other 5% I'm not attracted to either physically, their "beliefs and values," or both. Of course, this is what I see on Plenty of Fish, which is universally regarded to as "bottom-of-the-barrel," since it's free.


Now, interestingly enough, my wife will not date men with children, so it certainly does work both ways.


People like you, my wife, and myself, typically don't settle. It seems to be in our nature. I've been separated for 10 months, and quite honestly I don't care if I remain single for the next 10 years. The "right one" will magically appear when we least expect it. That is always how it works. When you go looking for something, you rarely find what it is you're looking for.


So, long story short... Yes, we do exist, but we are a rarity!

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