Need help with online stalking

[lea2503]

I've blocked him and his new girlfriend from Facebook, but knowing I can access his twitter and her instagram is just too much.

Through her instagram I've just found out she's visiting him right now (they are in a ldr). We slept together 2 days ago (read previous thread, definitely a huge mistake) and it makes me feel sick to my stomach knowing she's sleeping in his bed that I was in just 2 days ago!!

 

Desperately trying to move on and need to find the strength to not check up on what they're doing!!!!

[Edmund Exley]

I am so sick of social media. Its going to be the decline of modern civilization. I assure it.

[Moontiger]

How do you have access to these things? If you have the passwords you need to let both of them know so they can change them. If you are logged into them somehow you need to log off.

 

The fact is, he ain't your problem anymore.

[IAmFCA]

Much social media is available to any of us who simply google for it. One cannot block it out per se, one has to stop oneself from going to find it.

 

My sweet sociopath ex posts pics almost daily telling of whereabouts and has been for the past month+. Why do I know? Because as I was trying to unravel the stalking events of late, I reinforced my habit of googling him. It doesn't hurt, but it is not good for me if only because he is a waste of my time. The bigger risk is I begin to believe his online persona. Here I am with my wife! Here I am with my kids! Look at me playing with friends!

 

He is still the man who was engaged for years, secretly, while dating me and others. Ewww. The lesson: do not believe the hype! They post info knowing how it is shaping others' views of them. We do not need to buy into their PR campaign, or even listen (see) it.

 

It is time to stop googling and start saying: whatever my ex is doing is of no concern to me. It might even help to call the ex some other nickname, to further dissasociate yourself. No Google!

[lea2503]

It's nothing to do with being on people's accounts! I'm able to see his twitter and tweets as unfortunately they are not private, and same for her instagram photos..... All I have to do is type in a name and it's there!!!

 

It's so hard and sets me back every single time! Just need more will lower and force myself not to look!

[GinNJuice]

All I have to do is type in a name and it's there!!!

 

It's so hard and sets me back every single time! Just need more will lower and force myself not to look!

 

I have an idea. Stop typing his name!!!

 

You're a masochist. I think you should just keep looking at it until you finally hurt so much that you're ready to let go and move on.

 

Have you tried doing things to take your mind off this relationship?

[bulletproof]

All I have to do is type in a name and it's there!!!

 

 

I think the solution is to not type in the name, then? Come on now.

[pippy longstocking]

It is an addiction darling and like all addictions it is hard to kick the habit , especially when your heart is involved . A cigarette , a drug , a bar of chocolate ..we all struggle trying to kick some kind of habit at some point in our lives , so maybe you can view it like that .

You already know the answer is to not type in his name , but if you had that much self control you wouldn't be here posting a thread .It is a tough challenge and you are not the first and certainly wont be the last to do this I can assure you . Maybe it is a case that you will hurt yourself so much you will just one day say "enough" and never look again. Maybe you need to set yourself a target ...one hour at a time ..

You really have to be so strong and find that power within to be kind to yourself , to know that you have to look after you , and do what's best for you .

try saying a mantra in your head ...like " I am strong and determined and I am not going to hurt myself any more"

 

Maybe the way for you is to wean yourself slowly ..one look in a morning ..one look in an afternoon ..one look in the evening and cut one out after a couple of days .

 

Be strong and you can do this .

[noname25]

I deactivated my Facebook. I couldn't stand to see it. I highly recommend it. Or just delete your twitter or something.

[sharky988]

If you go looking at their posts.... then you deserve what you find.

 

You've crossed a line -- you've slept with him to try and win him back, now you're stalking him and his new girlfriend online.... you need to reign it back in and stop this. You're NOT a psycho ex, but you're veering dangerously close to that territory and it must stop now, sweetie.

 

This is the time for you to end this behavior. You KNOW what you need to do -- disable your accounts on any sites you can't block them on. Just knock it off. You can live without freakin' Twitter for now. Give yourself a few months to recover and get your dignity back.

 

You're spiralling downward.... but the gift of No Contact is that it restores yourv sense of dignity and self-mastery as soon as you start to implement it!

 

Don't forget: No Contact = No Online Snooping as well.... this is your best course of action. But deep down, you already know that, right?

[No1]

you are going to continue to look until it hurts too much...or you just have to stop looking. Whatever pain you feel from snooping is your fault.