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How to forget other man and love my husband again???


ElizabethB

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I wish non of it ever happen. When I was vulnerable and very lonely, I started to talk one man on FB. He was sweet, charming and nice to me. He was giving me things my husband was not for a very long time. He knew I was married. With each new message I fall deeper and deeper for him. One day we met. He was just like online and more because he was very attractive. I did not feel any attraction toward my husband at that point and meeting this man woke up all those old feelings I used to have. I was blind from day one even though my gut feeling was telling me something else. I felt pushed when it came to sexual things though. He pulled his penis out on first meeting and put my hand on it, grope over my body even though I always put his hands back to my waist. I did not feel comfortable with it but I came for more - just to hear him talk, to kiss my hair, hold my hands. All those little affections I loved. I wanted to kiss him and be close to him. I did not have any need or desire to kiss my husband.

There were red flags too but I managed to ignore them. We have met couple times and last time I saw him -we had sex. I did not feel ready for it but I gave in. Then I felt used as never in my life. This man was always sweet, talked about our future together, said how he hopes that I will get divorce soon.I wanted to believe him so bad.

 

After he got back to his state, I did not hear from him much. He said he thinks he is falling for me but his actions said something else to me. He hardly texted to me while he was getting more and more girl- friends on FB with trashy looking profile pic. No messages for me until one day. He said he missed me very much and wanted sexy picture of me. I said no. He kept asking so I told him send me one first. I was shocked over image he sent me and also glad because I thought I will get him out of my head now. It worked for a couple hours and then I forget it again. I saw him as perfect man. No matter that he playfully slapped my face for about three times and laughed about it. It did not hurt but I did not like when he did it. It was just a joke for him.

We kept in touch with meaningless messages until a day when he said he is in my town again. I wanted to meet him and tell him that what happened between us before was something I was not ready for. So I did. He did not feel like it. He said if I wanted him to stop, I should protest louder so he took it as yes. Just like last time - he talked about wanting to be with me but he also wanted sex. I did not give in this time. He was disappointed but stayed sweet to me. We talked a lot and I started to believe that maybe he is not playing with me and maybe he really means what he says.

He wanted to see me again but when I text him - he did not reply. I asked if he is mad and then I got my reply " I promise I am not mad". Since that, I have not hear from him. He ignores everything I send and it hurts badly.

 

My husband and I had talk about our marriage. We both know it is not and it was not working long time ago. I somehow can't get over years when he was abusive to me. Now, when he is doing his best - I feel nothing.

When I see him sad and he is sad often - it is breaking my heart. I know I was very selfish for what I have done. I feel like some kind of monster.

All I can think of is why can't I love him again? I mean, I love him but it is not that same love. I wish he would hate me so it would not hurt him this much.

 

I am very depressed lately. I want to stop thinking about this OM and feel like he is the perfect man who can save me from everything. Why am I so blind??? Why can't I see what my husband does now? Why don't I love his touch, his words, his attention? I don't want to hurt him anymore. I am tired of myself, my stupid actions but at the same time I don't know how to give up on this other man. Why can't I let it go? This feeling is killing me and I hurt someone who does not deserve that. I feel hopeless, like there is no way out. Completely lost.

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You don't let go because you don't want to let go. You want to be selfish.

 

You aren't lost. You want to chase in behind a man who slaps you, practically tries to sexually assault you because you're more invested in the grudge you want to use to justify why you're debasing your marriage vows. Perhaps this is how you're paying him back for abusing you--and how, exactly, was he abusing you? You're letting a man who is not your husband abuse you now.

 

What you need is to not be with any men. You need to unravel your head first.

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If your husband did what you did to him, or lets just say he decided to start seeing someone, you would be so hurt. Stop thinking about you and start thinking about the relationship. if you can't do that, then walk away and give your husband another chance at finding a real love.

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