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Hello,

 

New here.

 

My GF of 4 years just recently left me a week before Christmas. We had been fighting for a while and I had some personal demons that ruined our relationship. Throughout the relationship, she was patient while I hurt here as a result of some of my personality faults. I could be negative and critical. We were in a transition period, living with distance for a long time waiting until this summer that we could finally live together. It finally got to a point now, when as she was slipping away I really started to understand my behavior. When she left, I did serious soul searching and realized so many things I will change about myself for the future. However, she said that despite the fact that she has feelings for me, its basically too late. It seems hopeless. I tried to text her and email her over this past week and unfortunately probably pushed her away by apologizing, telling her how much I loved her, trying to tell her what I learned and would change, etc.

 

So now, I will be officially going no contact. This is extremely difficult knowing that even though we love each other, I caused all of this. I don't know how to deal with this regret. Is there any hope that after time goes by apart that a woman's heart can be softened once again? I'm finding it hard to move forward.

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You broke her heart man, she needs time to heal from what you say you've caused. If she still loves you after she feels she has healed then she will come to you, right now you need to work on becoming the guy you want to be because your actions will speak louder than any words.

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she probably feel out of love with you if she stuck around that long... u should stop trying to win her back because u'll just push her away even more. You cant convince someone you will change. They have to see it for themselves and come around to see it on their own time.

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Toby^^ is right. It will take some time for things to calm down & for her thoughts to 'improve' over you.

 

Meanwhile, you should be working on what went wrong in the relationship. Work on YOUR issues and try to improve them.

Though, it does take two to mingle. She probably has a few issues as well. Dont blame yourself for all. Relationships dont always work for any amount of problems that can arise.

Some are not compatible and become so distant. Some have inner issues etc.

 

Letting go and dealing with all of this will take some time. It does hurt for months. As we work on repairing ourselves from the deep pains of loss.

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Thanks ^^^^ I will be taking the time to work on myself and letting go. I guess it is fitting that the new year is so close. I'm trying not to blame myself for everything, I know that nobody is perfect and there are issues on both sides. It is just very difficult right now not to be focused on how much she did love me and waited for a long time for change. I just wish I could go back in time, you know?

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I don't have much to add that's not already said, but I'm on the same boat as you. New years is both depressing and happy. It's a fresh start but it'll be lonelier without my other half. At the same time I've learned that you have to let go. In some weird way, letting go is the only way to move on, and its not until we move on that we can change, and maybe a chance encounter is all you can hope for, but sitting there waiting or dwelling over getting back together, or even just hoping for it delays the healing and you never fully accept the change that's happening in your life. I'm slowly reminding myself that I was happy before we were together and that if I'm patient I know i'll get back to that point again soon. Take it as what it is. We both screwed up, it's over. All we can hope for is to never screw up again when love comes around again, which I know it will, whether its with this same girl in the future or another. Don't count the days, just let go and do your own thing

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