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He didn't reply to happy birthday msg- I feel stupid


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IF all you wanted to do was *wish him well*............ you did that.

 

So, why feel stupid?

 

You wanted to wish him well, and you did. Mission accomplished.

 

I think it's likely you were hoping for a response.... which isn't just about wishing him well, but about getting back together with him.

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I agree with sharky...if your only goal was to wish him well since its a special day/memory for you, then you did that and shouldn't feel stupid. In your shoes I of course would expect/want at least a simple "thank you".. especially if you feel like you want to be on friendly terms. I can see why it would feel like a rejection.

You did what felt right at the time....don't be so hard on yourself--brush off any hurt feelings and keep moving forward.

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I know this is hard but it tells you something... you are still hanging onto feeling like he is your 'special person' and hence you should celebrate/recognize special personal events like birthdays with him, but if he broke up with you, he has broken those bonds and hence you need to not only let go of him as a BF, but also let go of celebrating/recognizing personal events in his life because he has broken those bonds and is moving on with his life.

 

If he didn't even respond, that is his way of letting you know that his life is moving on and he is not looking back as you are. You really should try to go no contact with him so that you can get on with your healing and look to the future rather than looking to the past. He was special to you and you will always have those special memories, but his present and future belongs to him and whomever he chooses to share his life with.

 

So I don't think you should feel stupid, but I do think you learned something here. He has let you know that he wants you to really let go by not acknowledging your text. It is time to start really letting go of him and to stop thinking of him as someone special in your current life because he has chosen to go forward without you rather than with you... So now start thinking about YOU rather than thinking about him. Start making plans to be with friends, family, other activities that can be active and current in your life right now, rather than hanging onto him and the past.

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Don't feel stupid! You were right to try because it soothes your heart to know that you reached out, no matter what the outcome is. It's hard to let go and nothing I or anyone here tells you can make the process easier. Just take it one step at a time - let yourself miss him but don't let it hinder your future because there will be much better things to come.

 

Remember, he's the stupid one for ignoring a nice message like that - that's just rude. Feel better!!

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I think you should look at it as he probably didn't respond because he didn't want to give you any false hope that you both could get back together again. In that, he did you a kindness and a huge favor.

 

If your aim was to wish him a happy birthday, you accomplished that goal.

 

If your aim was to attach an unspoken gesture of trying to rekindle something with him, then he did the best thing by not responding, because that could have launched you off into some searing pain over being rejected moreso than his not acknowledging the birthday wish.

 

He's letting you know that it's truly over. No more reaching out to him because it's now you hurting yourself for no good reason.

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Don't feel stupid! You were right to try because it soothes your heart to know that you reached out, no matter what the outcome is. It's hard to let go and nothing I or anyone here tells you can make the process easier. Just take it one step at a time - let yourself miss him but don't let it hinder your future because there will be much better things to come.

 

Remember, he's the stupid one for ignoring a nice message like that - that's just rude. Feel better!!

 

It is not rude. If he doesnt want to stay friends then it is certainly not rude to have ignored your text. He just wants to move on without looking back..

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Honestly, I don't see a problem with sending someone a birthday greeting, but that greeting needs to be sent from a point of neutrality, meaning, no expected outcome.

 

I've sent birthday texts to my exes previously, sometimes for years after we broke up, but they were from the heart with no expected outcome. I think in this case, you shouldn't feel stupid for making a kind gesture.

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I dunno what happened between you guys but one of my exs did this one year on my birthday and I was out with my friends and it was the last person i wanted to get a text from that night....not because i didnt love her but for that one night I just didnt want to deal with that situation and Just wanted to go out and have fun. Im not trying to be mean, im just giving another point of view...

 

but you did what you had to do..dont be too hard on yourself.

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Don't be hard on yourself. It happens, nothing to feel stupid about. At this point it's best to maybe not reach out in the future until you are completely over it and don't care. This may be in a year or so from now, but at least you know now and can move on.

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