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Just need some encouragement


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I've been NC for the last two weeks, broken up for a month but tonight I just feel really down. I know that this is going to happen at times but sometimes it really feels unbearable. I've been going out with friends and hanging out with my family more - you know, appreciating more of the things I already have. I've been getting into new hobbies and making future plans after graduation to get myself excited for the upcoming year but I can't help but feel this anger and injustice against him because I feel like, here I am feeling this heartbroken over him when I was so good to him and the last time we spoke he seemed so fine and ready to move on. I just feel like if he treated me so poorly, why do I still feel this love for him? Is it because I just don't know what it's like to be treated right so I think this is the best I can get is someone who puts me down and makes me feel unappreciated? I mean the signs of all there, my friends tell me all the time how I deserve more, but here I am feeling heartbroken. I know it's childish but there's just this part of me that just feels like, where's the karma? where's the justice? But anyhow, it's probably just late and I'm just probably having a off night.

 

Any positive stories of people moving on or any feedback would be much appreciated!

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Ya do move on, just takes a while......

I'm about a year out of a 5 year relationship, at times I miss her, but I realize it wasn't right.....we grew apart, and it was for the best.....

 

In the end, she was not the girl I fell in love with, we's lost so much in between....

 

What I wanted, and what we were, were two different things......

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Focus on you. Karma always does its part... at least in my life. This also means Karma HAS/is/will punish me for my past deeds, so I try to live the best I can and be as good to everyone as I can be without sacrificing my values/boundaries.

 

As long as you come from a place of love and non-attachment, the Universe/God will always be on your side.

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You love him, because you LOVE him. That's the nature of love. It's a good thing actually. Love doesn't just shut down when people treat us badly, make us angry, annoy us, etc. If that's how love worked... well love would be very fleeting and temporarily. So even though this guy isn't good for you, is not a good match for you and not someone you should be with... you love him and will need time to let go of that love. It will happen though someday. Just be patient. It has been a month. I was in love with my ex for 4 months past the breakup. I still love the person I thought he was but it's not a romantic love, just a caring love. But I genuinely dislike the person he is and probably will continue to be. He has ZERO chance of being with me again.

 

I'm not sure if I'm a big believer in karma. I do believe that people who are selfish and hurt people without caring tend to have bad things come their way eventually. My ex experienced some degree of this karma but I didn't realize it until a month ago. We broke up 8-9 months ago by the way. For the first few months I felt obsessed with him experiencing anger and that life was so unfair. Yet, he was depressed and unhappy about things in his own life, likely unrelated to me, for many, many months. And a sad truth to accept is that whatever pain your ex feels will likely not be near the magnitude of pain you are feeling right now. Just learn to let it go and be focused on your own life.

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Thank you guys so much for the feedback, I really appreciate it. I know I need to focus on me and move on, it's just at times, I find it all so unfair and I feel really lost in where I'm going in my life because I thought I'd have this figured out. But that's probably the old soul in me speaking because I know I'm still young and have a lot to experience and see and know. I just feel really hurt and I'm really afraid I won't ever love anyone nor have someone love me again.

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... it's just at times, I find it all so unfair and I feel really lost in where I'm going in my life because I thought I'd have this figured out...

I know I'm still young and have a lot to experience and see and know. I just feel really hurt and I'm really afraid I won't ever love anyone nor have someone love me again.

 

Fairness and Karma. I wished for both, but neither may happen any time soon in regards to the ex. I feel Karma has bitten back for my behaviour as a teenager, almost 20yrs later.... but is that fair? I was not a whole person at that time, why am I punished for it now??

Because someone else suffered.

 

Acknowledge the point you made: I know I'm still young and have a lot to experience and see and know

 

YES! YES YES YES! Life will eventually not be fair, even to the good people. In relationships, if you take the time to learn from experiences, and not repeat mistakes, then you give yourself a much better chance at identifying a "love" that is waaaaay more complete than what what your ex offered! That is guaranteed.

 

Chin up dt08, this heartbreak will benefit you in the long run xo

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YES! YES YES YES! Life will eventually not be fair, even to the good people. In relationships, if you take the time to learn from experiences, and not repeat mistakes, then you give yourself a much better chance at identifying a "love" that is waaaaay more complete than what what your ex offered! That is guaranteed.

 

Chin up dt08, this heartbreak will benefit you in the long run xo

 

Thank you so much. It gets really hard at times, but I really try to remind myself that I'm still young and that I deserve better. It's a new year and I'm hoping that things look up for here on out

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I'll tell you right now, Karma is very real, and I indirectly smile when bad things happen to me on the romantic side of things, because I know I'm getting mine for my bad deeds in the past... some exampled of Karma getting exs:

 

Had an ex who really screwed me end up in a DUI accident, she went to jail for 6 months

Had an ex fail college shortly after break up then married some guy, who cheated on her constantly

Had ex move out of country after cheating on me, she is now the mother of his kid and is miserable

Had an ex get her car totaled shortly after straight dissing me

Most recent ex just broke her wrist and has no insurance to cover it, though I told her to NOT cancel her insurance... I'm sure my words are resonating with her at this point.

 

I don't know what it is, but people that f*ck me over really get theirs... its with anyone that has every f*cked me over really... business, friendship, relationship... its interesting to see.

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